The Spring Break That Wasn't Quite So Springy

Maliana ~

Well, this week was spring break. Temperatures were below freezing most days and as I sit here and type this, there is snow on the ground. Uggh, right? Regardless of the weather, I was still hoping that this week would bring a nice reprieve of the usual daily grind. I had planned to take off half days and be picking you up each day at 1pm so that we could head out on adventures together, creating "the best spring break ever!" ~ you know, no biggie, right? Well, it went a little differently than expected. Pretty much all week you were a little less than impressed with my attempts to make spring break fun. I suppose you are getting to that age where friends are becoming more important to you and Mom and Dad can seem somewhat boring in comparison. That, coupled with my inflated hopes and expectations to make this spring break the "best spring break ever!" created the perfect storm for you and I to butt heads at least once (usually more than once) on a daily basis. In my distress at wondering what the heck was going on, I did talk to a few of my other mommy friends about this phenomenon and fortunately, they made me feel a heck of a lot better by telling me that their kiddos are going through the same sorts of behaviors too. Evidently, while you kids are out and about at school or with other parents, you are angels; model children in your manners and kindness and cooperation...once home, you kids can seem a little more like Sybil. We came up with some theories and the one that seems pretty plausible is that you are working so hard to maintain good behavior all day long, that when you get home it is just too much effort to keep maintaining that uber delightful facade. It's the same way adults feel after a long hard day at work. Since you're most comfortable around Mom and Dad, we are the ones that can get the version of you with her head spinning, steam coming out of her ears, and completely undone from her day. We get the push and pull, the grumpiness, and the testing of boundaries that comes with you feeling like you can completely and 100% be yourself around us, trying out new things (good and bad) on Mom and Dad. It's the same thing that happens all through life, really. We all can be pretty rotten to those who are closest to us simply for the fact that we feel the most comfortable in our relationships with them. We know they love us, no matter what, so we can let it all hang out with them, which isn't always pretty, or fair. It's no excuse, but it makes sense.

Anyway, aside from our ups and downs this week, it all turned out just fine. In fact, because of our most difficult moments, we were able to have some very real conversations (eventually) about the troubling behaviors, how we both feel, and trying our best to make better choices and have more positive attitudes in spite of difficulties or disappointments. The perfect storm gave way to sunny skies. They always do.

So, on to my recap of our week. I'll try to hit the bright and funny spots, because in spite of the dreary weather and dark clouds, there is always bright and funny if you look for it.

Our week started with our friend, Ellie the elephant, in tow. You were being entrusted with her for a shared journal project at school. That particular day we tried to go see the new Muppet Movie (but what with your sensitive heart, we only stayed for about 15 minutes before the bad guy got to you too much and we had to leave), so we decided to walk around Easton and shop for a bit. We got you some cool pirate inspired summer clothes at H and M, then hit up the American Girl store where you initially wanted an American Boy doll (they don't really make those except for the babies) and so you settled for a service dog because, "they help people who are blind, Mom". With all the insane prices in that store, I got out of that one easy but I won't make any bets that our next trip to AG will be even remotely as painless.

playing with one of the gazillion dollar dolls at AG...
I think my wallet openly began weeping right here

We hung out in the food court munching on Auntie Ann's pretzels when I noticed that you had a chunk taken out of the right side of your hair. Uh oh. You admitted that you'd cut your hair at daycare with another friend of yours. Nice. Looks like a trip to the hair salon was in our future that night too. Luckily, it was the push that I needed to acquiesce about letting you completely chop your hair, not exactly like Daddy's as you'd been begging for, but a cute pixie just in time for summer. You were so happy with it, giddy during the entire experience. I wondered why it'd taken me so long to agree to letting you do this. Something so simple that could make you so happy.

your first shampoo at the salon

getting ready to snip!

chop chop!

You were pretty shy about showing off your haircut, wouldn't even show
it to Mark and Jenny when they came over from next door.
However, when Daddy got home, you said, "Hi
Daddy! Look at my hair! Mommy said
you will poop your pants!" Ha ha!

Before we headed off to the hair salon though, we stopped home to walk the dogs and you decided to work on your journal for Ellie the Elephant. You took this job very seriously and it turned out very nicely. So proud of your handwriting, story-telling, and artistic ability...just trying to figure out why you drew both of us riding Ellie in your depiction of our day with her. Interesting to see how you explain that to your daycare class.

writing in your journal with Ellie and your new
seeing eye dog from American Girl

your Ellie entry, complete with picture of you
and I riding the elephant

I have to mention...I noticed you've picked up this funny little saying that I'm not sure if it comes from me or someone else, but you say, "How funny is that?" whenever something amuses you. Just a little tidbit of cuteness that I couldn't resist bringing up. Love you, kid.

Our second day of spring break was a bit more rocky than the first. I took you (and Audrey Ayi) to the Franklin Park Conservatory to see the Blooms and Butterflies exhibit. It was a lot of bloom and not as much butterfly, in fact we could only get one to land on us the entire time! It was pretty crowded but still very pretty.

taking pictures of the carp with my phone

more pictures...

and more pictures...



the one butterfly we got to land on us...and Audrey ate it!

Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), we also had a "come to Jesus" moment right there in the conservatory as well. I haven't mentioned it much on here lately, but Daddy and I have had some challenges with you in the parenting department. Like any kid will do if given the opportunity, you have become increasingly demanding and decreasingly appreciative over the last few weeks. Granted, we've all been sick and not sleeping well which can cause molehills to become mountains, however on this particular day your moments of perfecting an impersonation of Veruca Salt hit a boiling point for me and I'm ashamed to admit it, but this mama volcano erupted. I even had to take a mommy time-out to walk away for a second and cool off. During said time out, Audrey Ayi took you aside and had a chat with you, explaining pretty much what I would have done in that moment had I been thinking clearly. After I gathered my thoughts, we talked about attitudes, cooperation, appreciation, being angry and hurting feelings. You know, the "fun" stuff. I am happy to say that we both worked it out. I explained how frustrated I get when you have a poor attitude and won't cooperate, don't appreciate the activities that I have been going out of my way to take you on and constantly demand more and more without enjoying what you have. I explained that it makes me angry at first (hence my initial reaction), but then later I feel like I want to cry because it hurts my feelings. And girlfriend, you got it. You really got it. The rest of the visit went great. Sybil left and the regular Mali came back. You made a deliberate effort to participate in the visit after that. It was really nice.

You promptly fell asleep on the way home and then once home, played and played and played with Audrey, even reading her your Ellie the Elephant journal of which you are so very proud.

you loved this Ellie project from school

Now, with this having been your first day at daycare with your new haircut, you were a bit nervous to show everyone. You generally don't like to be the center of attention and so it was a pretty big deal to you to reveal it to your class. I'm not sure exactly what happened but evidently one of the other children laughed at it. This particular kid has a history of behavior issues at school and generally tends to not be very nice to anyone. The teachers constantly have to be vigilant about how he is acting towards the other kids in your class, so to be more reassuring, I highly doubt it was your haircut but rather just another opportunity he jumped on to be unkind. I actually asked you what you thought it was that was hurting his heart so much that he felt like he needed to hurt other kids, to which you replied, "Well, he doesn't like his name". Hmm, ok. At least that's a start in your attempting to understand him and possibly have compassion. Regardless of what's up with this kid, he made you hurt and therefore Mommy and Daddy were, to put it lightly, pissed.

The next morning, Daddy talked to your teacher at drop off to see what her perspective was on everything. What has she seen in the classroom? She confirmed what we already knew about this particular child and the social difficulties he has in class. She also said that you seemed to be ok and not too terribly affected by anything that had happened the previous day, from what she saw anyway. Then she also told Daddy something that made us very happy. Ms. Jessica told us that you always use your words to resolve issues with the other kids, exactly what she encourages all of you children to do. You are so proud of yourself after doing so that you will sometimes even run to her and say, "I used my words!" and give a little hell yeah fist pump. And I couldn't be more proud of you when I heard this. Daddy and I may not be able to protect you from all of the people that can hurt your feelings in life, but thank God you have developed the ability to speak up for yourself. I think I've mentioned it in this blog before, but I will say it again now. When I was young, I lost my voice. Not having my voice cost me a lot through the years. It took me until my mid-thirties to find it. And I vow to never lose it again. I'm glad that yours is so strong at age 6. Hang on to it. It's one of the most important tools you will have in life, both for yourself and others.

After such a rough day for both of us the day before, you requested we eat at Melting Pot mid-week. So there we were, back at Easton again, stuffing our faces with yummy chocolate fondue. At one point, you said, "Mommy, thank you for bringing me here. I just missed you." *dagger in the heart* So sweet. I guess you were listening after all when we had some of those difficult conversations the days before. Wow. Your heart amazes me, kid.

mmmm!!

dipping in the chocolate

it's a little messy but so worth it!

even a little KDB before leaving Easton...you
were pretty good at this drumming game

Once home from Easton, we played checkers (where you legitimately beat me for the first time ever!) and then Lao Lao came for a quick visit before bed. As we lay in bed that night, we made up a parody of our own to "Let It Go" called, "Let Me Poop". We cracked ourselves up and both had some genuine belly laughs. Welcomed after a few tough days.

On Thursday we went to the zoo with Audrey Ayi again. You love your ayi and had the major giggles with her as we ate dinner on the way home. You both were laughing so hard at one point that you could barely breathe. 

On Friday, you had a busy day. your buddy Jocelyn and her mom picked you up in the morning from daycare and you went to Magic Mountain with them all day. You had been looking forward to doing this all week and had a blast with them! And remember what I had said earlier about how well you behave when at school or with other parents, etc? Well, throughout the day I got some texts from Kristy (Jos's mom), but a few of them really stood out in my mind and made me very relieved and very thankful. Here are the two that knocked my socks off:

~ "She is such a great, respectful, compassionate, patient, giving little girl. I loved that the first thing she said was, 'I need to stay with you, Kristy. My mom told me and I always listen to my mom.'"
and
~ "So proud of Mali. She didn't like this little boy chasing her so she said no thank you. He sat down and looked so sad. I said 'I think he just wanted to play with both of you.' She went over and asked if he wanted to play. The boy said yes and she asked him what HE wanted to play. So compassionate!"

I am so thankful that Kristy was so sweet to take notice of these little moments in your day and share them with me. You already are asking when we can have another play date with Jocelyn and when she can come over for a sleepover. So thankful that you have formed this friendship and have so much fun together.

silly girls

all that playing worked up an appetite!

That night Aunt Tina offered to take you out with Sam and Erin and so you headed to dinner and then the Lego movie with them. My word, your social calendar is more full than mine! I was a bit hesitant to let you go since I knew you were exhausted from Magic Mountain, however very glad you had Aunt Tina, one of your second mamas, to snuggle with you in the theatre when you pretty much zonked out after such a full and fun day!

Saturday was a cold and rainy day, good for staying in and taking care of things around the house. Have I mentioned how SO COMPLETELY OVER winter I am? Anyway, we did have a bright spot towards evening when we hosted the Doellings for dinner. It was the first time that Lainey, Christina, and Scott came over to our house and we truly enjoyed our evening with them. Daddy and I both agreed after they left, they are one top notch family.

watching Descpicable Me 2 in 3D...Lainey
wasn't a fan of the glasses

sharing your blue chair

Dr's Lainey and Mali giving shots...to Scott's head! Ouch!

Sunday brought breakfast with Memaw and Papaw. Then, believe it or not, we actually convinced you to take a nap with Daddy and me later (shocking, I know!) The rest of the day was spent getting some fresh air, playing with stomp rockets, and yoga, then just tying up loose ends before the chaos of another week begins. However, there was one more "funny" this week that I will leave you with...as shared on Facebook:
~ talking to Mali about her excitement to lose her baby teeth and get big front teeth like me because, "they're cool and big like a beaver!" #geethanks

Love,
Mama (aka Beaver Teeth)