Overwhelmed with Abundance this Christmas

Maliana ~

On Monday we went on another Operation Secret Santa mission to the Shermans' homes...you took it very seriously (as you can see from the picture below).

hoodie and a headlamp ~ good for sneaking
around in the dark!

Once home, we remembered that there was an email waiting for you from the Big Guy himself, Santa Claus. You watched your annual special message from the North Pole which you loved and made us replay at least 3 more times that night.

Watching your Santa Message for Christmas 2013!

We had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner the next night with Vince, Nadia, Abela, Memaw, and Papaw. As usual, we had a lot of laughs. I think this tradition has been going for nearly 20 years now and it's pretty special. It was so great to have Abela with us this year. You both hit it off like two peas in a pod. I hope we can continue this ritual for many more years to come. The beauty of traditions is that they can stay the same or slowly evolve each year, forming and molding and fitting into our lives as we change and grow with the seasons of life. You can build on and reshape traditions, creating new ones as you see fit that become just as important and treasured as the old ones. Such a wonderful thing.

shirley temples for the littles

Memaw and Papaw

Nadia and Vince

Daddy and me

Nadia, Abela, and Vince

brrrr...it was cold! this was the only shot we could get!

After dinner, Nadia, Vince and Abela came over to our house for a gift exchange, a belated birthday celebration for Abela (her 5th birthday was on the 22nd), and to hang out until nearly midnight. In fact, we all parted ways only when we noticed that Santa Claus was already in Baltimore, Maryland on the NORAD Santa Tracker and figured it would be best to get all of your little booties into bed, pronto!

even Pipsqueak was ready to party

Abby too!

about to celebrate Abela's birthday

the goofy girls

the goofy boys

happy birthday, Abela!

making magic food for the reindeer

mixing it all up

spreading the magic reindeer food
on our top deck

and finally settling down with a little 3D movie
action under a warm electric blanket

After everyone left, you, Daddy and I set out milk and cookies. Finally laying our heads on our pillows after learning that Santa was even closer, already making his way through Boston! Wouldn't want him to miss our house on account of us being awake, right? *wink*

getting the milk and cookies just perfect

the hearth is all set for the man in red

And voila...what do you know? Santa arrived almost as soon as you were fast asleep...it's funny how that happens, isn't it? *wink, wink*

he left you a note and even some messy footprints!
Oh ~ that Santa!

Christmas morning ~ fabulous! It was wonderful to sleep in and wake up slowly with no real place to go almost all day, taking our time with each other and enjoying the magic of the morning. First Christmas in a while that I felt like it was really ours. We all came downstairs together to check out what Santa had brought and it felt so relaxing. Memaw and Papaw came over with their gifts for all of us in the afternoon and it was so nice to see them. You were squirrely and ornery and sassy...everything you'd expect from a kiddo who is fueled by sugar and not enough sleep...but through it all you remained as sweet as ever. I am beyond thankful this year...I think I lost count on how many times I teared up on Christmas morning, overwhelmed with the emotions of reflecting on our year and my gratitude for every last minute of it. Here is what I wrote on Facebook which sums up my feelings quite nicely:

~ one of the most relaxed, warm, fuzzy and emotional Christmases I have had in recent memory...many changes have taken place over the past year that make me even more thankful for those still in my life and the new unexpected bonds I've made with some of the most loving and supportive people I've ever met, both near and far. Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family, both on Earth and in Heaven. In your own special ways, you have given me the most precious gifts of all throughout the year. XOXO

Click HERE to watch you coming down to see what Santa left on Christmas morning!

you with your presents from Santa

showing me where Santa Claus left his footprints!

helping Abby open her present from Santa

the present you specifically asked for all Christmas season...
LPS, Rescue Tails Center!

here we are with the Secret Santa present that you
picked out just for me (a black labrador
retriever ornament and a miniature
gold nativity set)

giving Daddy his Secret Santa gift...
wool socks!

using your new video camera to film
your LPS toys

safari hat and Toothless stuffed animal
from Memaw and Papaw

our family (minus the kitty)

with Memaw and Papaw

Christmas night we went to the Yersavich's where you disappeared with the kids for most of the evening and us adults got to gab and laugh and enjoy each other's company. What was that I had said earlier about creating new traditions as you see fit? I am hopeful that we did just that on Christmas night. I was feeling so blessed this year with much family and so many friends who feel just like family...it's all what you make of it and we are clearly in abundance. I just felt so fortunate and full of warmth, the Christmas spirit some might call it. That night you even slept over with E ~ first time ever! Our baby is growing up, that's for certain!

all cuddled up on your sleepover...E is such a good friend,
she even read you "Go, Dog, Go!" at bedtime

The next morning I actually had to work (boo! hiss!) so Lao Lao helped us out and ended up picking you up around 11am the next morning from Joe and Tina's house. Aunt Tina told me later that it was a treat to have you stay over and that you cuddled with her in the morning after waking up. You are definitely a big-time cuddler, one of my favorite things about you.

You hung out with Lao Lao, running errands with her, until I got home from work. Then the rest of the night was spent quietly at home, watching some of your new movies and playing with your new toys. We also spent a few hours watching the Discovery channel which you are currently hooked on...totally into investigative shows about the ocean, the megalodon and another about evidence for the theory of aquatic evolution of humans. Pretty heavy stuff for a five year old, right? Perhaps we will see you on a boat in the middle of the ocean, following your passion and investigating your own mystery someday. Our budding scientist.

Friday I took the day off and spent it at home with you, waiting for the chimney sweeps and garage door repairmen. Normally, that would stink but we spent the time stuck at home waiting by relaxing, playing, cleaning, cooking, and decompressing from the holidays. We had to get out of the house and blow the stink off towards evening and so went for a walk in the neighborhood where we decided to collect any litter we saw and bring it home to throw away. I ended up carrying you home about the last 1/4 mile and we talked about how you are getting so big that you are not my little peanut anymore...to which you replied that you are now my little moustachio. Ha. Touche!

making dinosaur banana pancakes with Mama
(don't even want to know how many health
code violations we were breaking)

walking Abby

Daddy finally came home from work and while you spent some time with him before bed, you chattered on and on about your new outdoor explorer gear (vest, hat, binoculars, bug vacuum, field scope, etc) and discussed possibly going on an adventure with him in the morning. When I asked what you were talking about as you headed back downstairs to show him something else, you said with a shrug, "Just some grown-up stuff, Mom." Ha. Oh...okay.

this was taken the next morning, you're all
geared up, serious, and ready to go!
(didn't have the heart to tell you that there are likely
no bugs for at least a few more months)

Saturday, we got out of the house to get some fresh air again and since it was such a beautifully warm December day, we headed to the park to meet Sam, Erin, Uncle Joe and Aunt Tina.

After some solid outdoor time, we headed over to their house for some good old fashioned hanging out. Daddy met us there after he wrapped up (once again) at work and we stayed until nearly 11:30pm. Another late night for all of us, but I couldn't think of spending it with more wonderful people.

playing Taboo

Uncle Joe giving you a little help with the clues

yay! they got it!
(you were hilarious, giving a double "finger-gun"
every time someone would get your
word correct)

the girls helping Daddy out

making s'mores in the fireplace

Sunday we met Uncle Blaize for lunch at Red Robin. It was so nice to see him again and catch up on everything! This Christmas was different than in years past since we did not see the Hart side of the family due to interpersonal problems between myself, Wai Gong and Memaw Lisa. But as for the both of you and Blaize, it's important that you know that my differences with them and the lack of contact between us has nothing to do with either of you. I know it's tough to grasp because I am really not mentioning many details here. Perhaps we will discuss what happened as you get older. Perhaps not. But at this point, the details are not necessarily important outside of what has already happened between myself, Wai Gong, and Memaw Lisa. We have our reasons for things to have gone down the way they did, as painful and heartbreaking as it has been at times. However, my hope is that you and Blaize can both understand that the changes in relationship that have occurred, have not and will never alter how I feel about either of you. I love you and I love Uncle Blaize and I will always be there for the both of you. No matter what. Nothing will ever change that. Period.

with your Uncle Blaize

Love,
Mama

P.S.
And here's an extra picture, in case there wasn't enough cuteness in this blog already. It's actually from last week but I forgot about it until now...

bubble bathing suit!

Cheers to a great new week ahead!

Secret Santa Missions, Special Family Gatherings, and the Scariest Moments of My Life

Maliana ~

We got a tiny bit more snow on Monday so guess who was outside playing with our new toy from Uncle Joe and Aunt Tina? Yep...my two kids ~ you and Daddy!

That night in bed you also surprised us by actually reading Ten Apples Up On Top! I couldn't believe it...I hope you let me film you doing that one of these days soon while you're still in this beginning reader phase. It's just so adorable.

The next day I was feeling a bit down...my holiday blues have been simmering for a while now but by Tuesday they had hit a new low and I was really struggling all day long. The night before, I had thrown together a dinner to take to some dear friends who are going through a rough patch right now and I had asked if I could come and drop it off on Tuesday. On the way home from work, I got an idea to try to bring a little extra fun and Christmas magic too. I ran over to the store and got a few gifts, one for the daughter of our friend with whom we also left the dinner, and the other two gifts for some other dear friends of ours who live nearby and I knew would appreciate these particular shenanigans. To make a long story short, we wrapped the gifts, addressed them to each child, and wrote "From: The North Pole" on them, then left each one at their doorsteps. The first family was not home when we arrived and so we left everything on the porch, sending a quick text to make sure they were coming home shortly and would see our packages. The second house we went to, they did happen to be home and so we rang the doorbell and hightailed it into their bushes, shushing each other and giggling the whole time. We couldn't hear or see much, so we were totally busted as we tried to sneak back to our car. Luckily, the kiddos are still clueless as to who exactly it was that left the packages. We really appreciate each of these families so you and I both got the biggest kick out of making these deliveries and hopefully spreading some Christmas cheer. And you know what? My holiday blues are a bit lighter now. What do ya know...Christmas magic.

shhhh...it's Operation Secret Christmas Mission

Thursday was a crazy busy day but we all made it through just fine. In spite of having gone to bed a tad late the night before, you even got yourself up and dressed before Daddy was even ready for work. Wow! Upon arriving at home, we found a package from your "Auntie" Jo in Colorado waiting on our doorstep. You had to have been the most excited kid in Ohio to have gotten this gift and lugged the huge box all the way up our stairs by yourself. As you opened each item, you exclaimed, "How did she know that I love all of this stuff?!?" We both agreed that it was so very thoughtful and kind of Jo...we really appreciated it. You ended up playing with everything that night and are so excited to wear the clothes in the final week leading up to Christmas.

it was even wrapped on the inside of the package!
very cool!

After the Colorado package excitement, you headed to Cabela's with Daddy and had some more fun. I've never been to the store but from what you guys told me, it sounds pretty neat.

howdy partner!

Friday was your winter party for your kindergarten class. I helped out again but did not plan the entire thing this time. It was really fun to watch all of you kids in all of your excitement, participating in each activity and being silly together. It's always so entertaining to spend the afternoon with a bunch of kindergarteners. Never a dull moment!

Saturday we headed off on our 2nd annual pilgrimage to Punderson State Park to celebrate Christmas with Lao Lao and Uncle Forge (Papaw Rick and Uncle Flint both were swamped with work). It was too wet and rainy to enjoy a sleigh ride so we stayed at the cabin instead. I decked it out in Christmas lights the second we walked in the door and we settled in for yummy snacks, games, crafts, and a gift exchange. You insisted that we turn off all phones and the tv, then you played our "gift elf" and passed out all of the presents. When it was time to take turns opening them, you surprised us all by suggesting that each and every person take their turn before you opened your first present. It was the sweetest thing to watch you sincerely delight in the giving and not just the getting. You are embodying the true spirit of Christmas and it is beautiful.

with Uncle Forge

Christmas elf Mali

giving Lao Lao the Secret Santa gift
that you picked out all by yourself

now you finally took your turn and opened your
first gift after everyone else had opened
one of theirs...you are the most
generous 5 year old I know

you love this koala from Uncle Forge,
naming it Koalie

I love your face in this picture...giving
Lao Lao your handmade gift

showing us how you made it

hand-print snowman Christmas ornament

electro gadget lab!

giving Lao Lao her annual calendar
with photos of you

figuring out the electro gadget lab with Lao Lao

all on your own now...you loved this thing!

Mommy Claus, Daddy Claus, and our ornery elf

we dubbed this "kindergarten wine" and the name
is sticking...you kept asking all night,
"Mom, can I have some more kindergarten wine?"
and "Where's my wine?" ...ha ha.

3 generations in matching jammies all
snuggled in and watching SNL

The next morning we packed up and headed out, but not without you expressing your wish to stay another night because you were having so much fun. Me too, kid. Me too. It really was a very nice kick off to our special time with family during this week before Christmas.

figuring out your rainbow loom the next morning

working hard on it...

and yay! figured it out!

looking at our view of the lake from the
screened in porch with Daddy

obligatory group shot before leaving

and....the obligatory silly shot

the reindeer Uncle Forge and Lao Lao got us...
right after you found some twigs for antlers

Once we got home, we took a deep breath, dropped off our suitcase, took showers, and headed back out to Uncle Kevin and Aunt Beth's for the Wilkinson gift exchange. It was more Christmas celebration and chaos as you had a barrel of fun with your crazy cousins.

Papaw had hidden a stocking for each of you and the hunt
for the stockings is what kicked off the night

hugs for your Secret Santa Sammy

silly Memaw

I am so glad that Alex loved our gift to her,
a crystal growing kit ~ she couldn't
wait to try it out!

some downtime with the little kitty
(shortly after this picture was taken, you asked
me if we could adopt a kitten too)

And before going to bed that night, not only did I have all of this family time to be thankful for, but also something much, much bigger. Daddy saved your life. Literally. Just before leaving for home, you put one of those strawberry hard candies with the jelly centers in your mouth, you took a couple of wrong breaths and wham, you were choking. I didn't even know you had placed it in your mouth until you came in the kitchen and made a couple of gasps and then nothing. Aunt Beth had the best angle to look at you and immediately said, "She's choking!" Daddy then leapt into action and performed the Heimlich on you until the piece of candy came out. About two thrusts is what it took. I was still trying to wrap my brain around what was happening and once I did, it was like it all was going in slow motion. I was terrified. I felt panicky. It seemed like those few seconds lasted forever. After the candy came out, I scooped you up in my arms and squeezed you tight. My fear turned to anger which turned to what I was really going through all along...complete and absolute terror. Something like this happening has been one of my biggest fears and I felt awful that it had come true. I felt like I should have known better, like I should have done more. I couldn't shake all of the horrific "what if?" 's running through my mind. I know, I know...things turned out ok and we all learned a valuable lesson. However, I can't help but be completely shaken by the realization that I would never, ever recover if anything ever happened to you. On the way home, we all made a pact and agreed, no more hard candy, EVER! I know that this spooked you about as much as it spooked us, so I am pretty comfortable that this lesson will stick with you too. As I walked you inside the house, I began crying again...whispering to you that I just love you so much, that you are my heart and soul, and that I never want anything bad to ever happen to you. 

Could my continued freak-out after the fact have traumatized you more? Possibly. However, I just felt the deep need for you to know, really know, that you honest-to-God mean the world to me. There's never a bad time to tell your kid(s) how much they mean to you. Never. This experience is a great example of probably the most difficult part of being a parent...no matter who you are, the possibility that something like this can happen is always there, lurking in the shadows. It's the most terrifying thing in the world. It reminds me of the following saying, "Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” -Elizabeth Stone. ...After a night like we had...no truer words have ever been spoken. God, I love you kid.

Love,
Mama