Secret Santa Missions, Special Family Gatherings, and the Scariest Moments of My Life

Maliana ~

We got a tiny bit more snow on Monday so guess who was outside playing with our new toy from Uncle Joe and Aunt Tina? Yep...my two kids ~ you and Daddy!

That night in bed you also surprised us by actually reading Ten Apples Up On Top! I couldn't believe it...I hope you let me film you doing that one of these days soon while you're still in this beginning reader phase. It's just so adorable.

The next day I was feeling a bit down...my holiday blues have been simmering for a while now but by Tuesday they had hit a new low and I was really struggling all day long. The night before, I had thrown together a dinner to take to some dear friends who are going through a rough patch right now and I had asked if I could come and drop it off on Tuesday. On the way home from work, I got an idea to try to bring a little extra fun and Christmas magic too. I ran over to the store and got a few gifts, one for the daughter of our friend with whom we also left the dinner, and the other two gifts for some other dear friends of ours who live nearby and I knew would appreciate these particular shenanigans. To make a long story short, we wrapped the gifts, addressed them to each child, and wrote "From: The North Pole" on them, then left each one at their doorsteps. The first family was not home when we arrived and so we left everything on the porch, sending a quick text to make sure they were coming home shortly and would see our packages. The second house we went to, they did happen to be home and so we rang the doorbell and hightailed it into their bushes, shushing each other and giggling the whole time. We couldn't hear or see much, so we were totally busted as we tried to sneak back to our car. Luckily, the kiddos are still clueless as to who exactly it was that left the packages. We really appreciate each of these families so you and I both got the biggest kick out of making these deliveries and hopefully spreading some Christmas cheer. And you know what? My holiday blues are a bit lighter now. What do ya know...Christmas magic.

shhhh...it's Operation Secret Christmas Mission

Thursday was a crazy busy day but we all made it through just fine. In spite of having gone to bed a tad late the night before, you even got yourself up and dressed before Daddy was even ready for work. Wow! Upon arriving at home, we found a package from your "Auntie" Jo in Colorado waiting on our doorstep. You had to have been the most excited kid in Ohio to have gotten this gift and lugged the huge box all the way up our stairs by yourself. As you opened each item, you exclaimed, "How did she know that I love all of this stuff?!?" We both agreed that it was so very thoughtful and kind of Jo...we really appreciated it. You ended up playing with everything that night and are so excited to wear the clothes in the final week leading up to Christmas.

it was even wrapped on the inside of the package!
very cool!

After the Colorado package excitement, you headed to Cabela's with Daddy and had some more fun. I've never been to the store but from what you guys told me, it sounds pretty neat.

howdy partner!

Friday was your winter party for your kindergarten class. I helped out again but did not plan the entire thing this time. It was really fun to watch all of you kids in all of your excitement, participating in each activity and being silly together. It's always so entertaining to spend the afternoon with a bunch of kindergarteners. Never a dull moment!

Saturday we headed off on our 2nd annual pilgrimage to Punderson State Park to celebrate Christmas with Lao Lao and Uncle Forge (Papaw Rick and Uncle Flint both were swamped with work). It was too wet and rainy to enjoy a sleigh ride so we stayed at the cabin instead. I decked it out in Christmas lights the second we walked in the door and we settled in for yummy snacks, games, crafts, and a gift exchange. You insisted that we turn off all phones and the tv, then you played our "gift elf" and passed out all of the presents. When it was time to take turns opening them, you surprised us all by suggesting that each and every person take their turn before you opened your first present. It was the sweetest thing to watch you sincerely delight in the giving and not just the getting. You are embodying the true spirit of Christmas and it is beautiful.

with Uncle Forge

Christmas elf Mali

giving Lao Lao the Secret Santa gift
that you picked out all by yourself

now you finally took your turn and opened your
first gift after everyone else had opened
one of theirs...you are the most
generous 5 year old I know

you love this koala from Uncle Forge,
naming it Koalie

I love your face in this picture...giving
Lao Lao your handmade gift

showing us how you made it

hand-print snowman Christmas ornament

electro gadget lab!

giving Lao Lao her annual calendar
with photos of you

figuring out the electro gadget lab with Lao Lao

all on your own now...you loved this thing!

Mommy Claus, Daddy Claus, and our ornery elf

we dubbed this "kindergarten wine" and the name
is sticking...you kept asking all night,
"Mom, can I have some more kindergarten wine?"
and "Where's my wine?" ...ha ha.

3 generations in matching jammies all
snuggled in and watching SNL

The next morning we packed up and headed out, but not without you expressing your wish to stay another night because you were having so much fun. Me too, kid. Me too. It really was a very nice kick off to our special time with family during this week before Christmas.

figuring out your rainbow loom the next morning

working hard on it...

and yay! figured it out!

looking at our view of the lake from the
screened in porch with Daddy

obligatory group shot before leaving

and....the obligatory silly shot

the reindeer Uncle Forge and Lao Lao got us...
right after you found some twigs for antlers

Once we got home, we took a deep breath, dropped off our suitcase, took showers, and headed back out to Uncle Kevin and Aunt Beth's for the Wilkinson gift exchange. It was more Christmas celebration and chaos as you had a barrel of fun with your crazy cousins.

Papaw had hidden a stocking for each of you and the hunt
for the stockings is what kicked off the night

hugs for your Secret Santa Sammy

silly Memaw

I am so glad that Alex loved our gift to her,
a crystal growing kit ~ she couldn't
wait to try it out!

some downtime with the little kitty
(shortly after this picture was taken, you asked
me if we could adopt a kitten too)

And before going to bed that night, not only did I have all of this family time to be thankful for, but also something much, much bigger. Daddy saved your life. Literally. Just before leaving for home, you put one of those strawberry hard candies with the jelly centers in your mouth, you took a couple of wrong breaths and wham, you were choking. I didn't even know you had placed it in your mouth until you came in the kitchen and made a couple of gasps and then nothing. Aunt Beth had the best angle to look at you and immediately said, "She's choking!" Daddy then leapt into action and performed the Heimlich on you until the piece of candy came out. About two thrusts is what it took. I was still trying to wrap my brain around what was happening and once I did, it was like it all was going in slow motion. I was terrified. I felt panicky. It seemed like those few seconds lasted forever. After the candy came out, I scooped you up in my arms and squeezed you tight. My fear turned to anger which turned to what I was really going through all along...complete and absolute terror. Something like this happening has been one of my biggest fears and I felt awful that it had come true. I felt like I should have known better, like I should have done more. I couldn't shake all of the horrific "what if?" 's running through my mind. I know, I know...things turned out ok and we all learned a valuable lesson. However, I can't help but be completely shaken by the realization that I would never, ever recover if anything ever happened to you. On the way home, we all made a pact and agreed, no more hard candy, EVER! I know that this spooked you about as much as it spooked us, so I am pretty comfortable that this lesson will stick with you too. As I walked you inside the house, I began crying again...whispering to you that I just love you so much, that you are my heart and soul, and that I never want anything bad to ever happen to you. 

Could my continued freak-out after the fact have traumatized you more? Possibly. However, I just felt the deep need for you to know, really know, that you honest-to-God mean the world to me. There's never a bad time to tell your kid(s) how much they mean to you. Never. This experience is a great example of probably the most difficult part of being a parent...no matter who you are, the possibility that something like this can happen is always there, lurking in the shadows. It's the most terrifying thing in the world. It reminds me of the following saying, "Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” -Elizabeth Stone. ...After a night like we had...no truer words have ever been spoken. God, I love you kid.

Love,
Mama