My Own Personal Ponderings about Trans-Racial Adoption

So, this post is simply a way for me to air a little bit of the emotional struggles I’ve been going through lately, nothing more, nothing less.


It all began, or at least heightened, with the viewing of an amazing documentary called, “Adopted, the Movie”, (and also the resulting pursuit and reading of multiple blogs written by adult trans-racial adoptees). The blogs are extremely interesting, touching, and have shed a whole new light for me on all of the complexities of trans-racial adoption, from “the horse’s mouth” so to speak. The film opened my eyes even more and brought home the harsh truths about how, at least one particular adoptee has struggled in forming her own identity while growing up in an all white family and community. Granted, the adult main character of the documentary had “awful, narrow-minded, and emotionally stunted” parents, which frustrated and drove me insane nearly every time they would open their mouths. However, what this woman was describing about how she felt about all of her life’s experiences really touched me deep inside. It terrified me for two main reasons. First being that I know that these struggles (and likely this pain in some form) lie ahead for Mali at some point (or even multiple points) in her future development. I know there’s nothing I can do to truly (and I mean, on a gut level, instinctively and intuitively) understand from a first-hand perspective, and there is nothing I can do to completely protect her from it. Secondly, in relation to that, I have begun to really question what I am doing for Mali now and realizing what I need to do for Mali in the future to insure she has the right tools and support to deal with what is inevitable.

At the moment, I feel woefully inadequate. What if I make mistakes? What if I am not enough? What if I am not strong enough? What if I say the wrong things? What if I make things a million times worse for the one person in the world that it is my duty to do right by? Suffice it to say, I’m terrified. I know these are all things that I need to personally work through…to educate myself (and our family) more, reach out for personal and group support more, engage our family in the local Asian community, remain more conscious and vigilant about the blatant and subtle oppression I see in the world around us…the list goes on and on. It’s almost like right now I just want to dive in and know what lies ahead, so I can better prepare for the exact challenges that are coming. Unfortunately, short of obtaining a crystal ball, I know that’s not possible. I have no way of knowing how Mali will process her history (or lack there-of), her life, her adoption, her identity. I just hope I can convey the openness she needs within our family to be able to discuss anything she needs to discuss with both her Dad and I. I want her to know that we are strong enough to handle any feelings that she may have and that we are here to help her seek out any other resources that we may not provide or even realize are necessary at different critical points for her. I want her to feel like she has company on this journey of life and discovery, but that she also has the freedom and independence to come to her own conclusions about her identity, her background, and her life as she sees fit for herself. I don’t want her to feel pressure of any kind to embrace (or ignore) something simply because the people around her have done so (either intentionally or out of ignorance).

In summation, I have so many emotions going through my head and heart right now…I simply had to write this entry to release some of this swirling and mounting pressure. I have no big wrap-up, no big epiphanies, and no big grand finales to make this post nice and tidy as it comes to a close. I just had to get these thoughts and feelings off my chest and send them into the universe. In the hope and prayer that what Mali needs, (as well as our whole family), will reveal itself and come back to us when the time is right.

Dragonboats, Tumbling, and Flower Girl Dresses

Maliana ~

Monday began with hilarity. You and Daddy were playing “hospital” when he came home from work while I wrapped up the previous week’s blog. As the game unfolded from your little mind, you were insisting that Daddy wear one of the rubber gloves that we stole from the hospital, while you donned your Mickey Mouse surgical mask. It was a lively game and you were very “in character”. Well, in the middle of it all, one of our neighbors (who we don’t exactly know very well) knocked on the door and so Daddy went to answer it. As he opened the door, I can only imagine what was running through this woman’s head given the look on her face. Here Daddy was, answering the door wearing one random rubber glove, with you coming down the stairs as quickly as you could, wearing your little surgical mask and shouting about only God knows what since the mask was muffling all of your words. You both must have looked like quite the pair. It was hysterical! She quickly handed Daddy the garage sale flyer she was holding and mumbled something like, “Just tell Theresa I stopped by”, and left abruptly. Well, ok then! I have no idea what she was thinking, but I’m pretty sure she won’t be stopping by unannounced again anytime soon. Ha ha.

Later Monday, I decided to go for a run, in spite of the chill and constant drizzle that has been our companion lately. You insisted on going with me, so I bundled and covered you up, and off we went. You did great, and kept me company with an unending stream of commentary as we ran the trail together. Girl, you can TALK!

You and I also ran a few more times this week, taking Abby with us on some trips. Once home from one of our runs, you got out of the stroller and decided that you wanted to run with Abby yourself, going back and forth in front of the house. Abby was not too sure about it and needed quite a bit of coaxing to get her to run beside you. When she finally complied, you were very proud of yourself.

For the last several weeks, you have really enjoyed playing hide and seek. You love this game and like to dictate who will hide with whom, resulting in an excited and rapid-fire “you and me, you and me, you and me!” before hurriedly running off and finding the most obvious hiding spot and noisily giggling as the seeker gets closer.

This week also came with a new revelation about the joys of a hardware store. Daddy and I had to go to Lowe’s to pick up some odds and ends and I realized how much I underestimated what a “playground” that place can be for a kid. You loved riding on the big lumber carts they have, and discovering all of the little gadgets, tools, nuts, bolts, chains, etc…you were in Heaven. I tell you what, the next time we are looking for a rainy day activity, I’m bringing you to Lowe’s to putz around. You loved it!

is it a lumber cart or a jungle gym?

Along with the fun during the week, you and I had some serious conversations too. One day in particular, you noticed one of the pictures we have up of yourself at the zoo, before you had your cleft lip surgery. You were very interested in it, so we got it down and talked about it. We talked about what it was, why we had it repaired (so you could talk and eat better, etc), talked about how people are born all sorts of different ways and how there are lots of other kids who were born just like you were too. We talked about a few other kids we know who were born with cleft lips (and/or palates) and then we broadened it and began to look on-line and stumbled onto some You-Tube videos, in particular from Operation Smile. Let me just say that you really loved watching these videos, with one in particular that you watched over and over again.

This one... Operation Smile 20th Anniversary in China

Of course, I cried a bit watching several of these videos, as different parts of them really struck a chord with me. You became so concerned, saying “Don’t cry Mommy, it’s ok”…it was tough for me to explain that they were happy tears. I know that’s a difficult concept to grasp when your thinking is still so concrete. But you were so sweet, climbing into my lap and giving me big hugs and patting my face or rubbing my back as we watched them. You are just the most amazing kid.

And while you are sweet and sensitive, you are also the funniest kid I know too. Here’s an example. Driving home from school one day, I was telling you that Audrey was coming over to see you. I wanted you to guess who was coming, so I said, “Well, she has really short hair and a lot of tattoos”…and you guessed right and shouted “Audrey!” at the top of your lungs. Then for some reason you added, “Not your mommy?” and I said, “No, not my mommy…Lao Lao doesn’t have any tattoos, right?” and you replied…(ok, get ready for it)…”No, she doesn’t have tattoos…Lao Lao has big boobies!” What the heck?!? I cracked up, and said, “Why, yes, I suppose she does.” It’s funny what makes an impression on a little kid, (and how unafraid they are to be honest about it). Ha ha!

The weekend was finally an awesomely sunny trio of days…where we had fun, in spite of you feeling a bit under the weather. Friday we kicked it off by taking Memaw and Papaw out to dinner since it was their birthdays this week. 

Happy Birthday guys!!

any opportunity for a family picture...even if I look like an over-ripe tomato!

Saturday we had a full day. We started by heading to the dragon boat races downtown on the river. While we couldn’t stay for the whole thing, we got to see the dragon boat teams warming up, the tai chi workshop, you made an origami paper cup, and we watched the lion and dragon dances. It was really neat. I just love the costumes, history and tradition of it all. 



origami cup

getting a closer look at the costume they used for the lion dance

We left the races early because we had to get you to your tumbling recital, where you did fabulously! The Toy Story 3 theme was right up your alley and I was so impressed with all of the different things you could do, and how well you paid attention, (for the most part…when you weren’t yelling down to me or Daddy about what you were doing, ha ha). You did a little routine to one of the songs from the movie, consecutive forward rolls, a headstand, then jumped up and down off of a big block. You were so cute up there on stage! I was one proud mama!

yee haw!

with Miss Theresa, your tumbling instructor

After the recital, we stopped home for a bit, and then took you over to Wai Gong and Memaw Lisa’s while Daddy and I went out on a date for our 10th wedding anniversary. I was a little apprehensive about going through with our date, since you just weren’t feeling 100%. However, I definitely felt better about leaving when you said to Daddy, “Mommy’s ready Daddy, you go!” and began shooing us out the door. They took good care of you, grilling out and then having a nice relaxing movie night inside. Memaw Lisa even painted your finger and toenails.

After we brought you home that night, your fever decided to kick it up a notch. I spent the night up and down with you, holding a cool rag over your head, and dosing you with Children’s Advil. Poor thing. I know fevers serve a natural purpose in helping your body fight off illness, but it’s such a helpless feeling when your kid is obviously uncomfortable.

By morning, you felt cooler with a normal temperature and I was so relieved. We got up, had a little breakfast (although your appetite has been nearly non-existent since the fever), and took it easy. The only thing we had to do on Sunday was meet Aunt Lindsey for her wedding, and try on flower girl and bridesmaid dresses. Your temp was still ok by 12 noon so we ventured out to David’s Bridal.

to quote Alanis Morisette's song 'Hand In My Pocket', "I'm sick but I'm pretty"

I am happy to say you did amazingly well and were so patient for the entire thing! We found a flower girl dress for you that is soft enough to not bother your delicate little skin, and you must feel like a princess in it too as you twirled around and admired yourself in the mirror (instead of wanting to rip it off as what typically happens when we put you in a fancy dress).

here's your dress for Aunt Lindsey's big day!

And in true Mali fashion…you just may be the first flower girl in history who was trying your hardest to convince me that during the wedding, you should wear the baseball hat and football jersey with “Ring Bearer” written on each. Of all of the pretty, frilly stuff in the store, those are what you gravitated to…you crack me up. My little tom-boy!

all the pretty dresses...and the hat is what thrilled you

please Mom, I wanna wear THIS in the wedding

After dress shopping, we came home and took it easy again. But in spite of relaxing inside the cool house, your dang fever decided to rear its ugly head by bedtime. Uggh. Poor kid. We dosed you up and broke out the cool rag again. I’m hoping you’re able to fight off whatever is ailing you soon…or we’ll be heading to see Dr. Dan this week. I just want my little munchkin to feel better. Being sick is no fun at all!

Love,
Mama

Fist-Pumpin' Good Week

Maliana ~

Awesome start to your week. Daddy said you woke up at 6:45am and were, literally, “fist-pumpin’” excited to go to school. You had a great day at school and then I came to pick you up a little early and came to your Mother’s Day Tea. Unbelievably, I was the only parent in your class that participated. You and I enjoyed our little private tea and muffin snack, with you getting a kick out of a showing me the special tablecloth your teachers put on the snack table, and having fun just chatting and being silly together. When we got home, you and I took a walk with Abby and your baby/stroller. As you can see from the picture below…you’re not your ‘average mommy’, insisting you needed an electric guitar to accompany our stroll...because, well, you just never know. Ha ha.

Once Daddy got home, we all headed to your favorite dinner joint, Noodles & Co. and then your favorite playground. You are now climbing up and down one of their climbing walls all by yourself! It’s amazing what 6 months can do for your development! You were so proud, zipping up the wall and down the slide, over and over and over again. You liked giving me high fives or knuckles as you went down the slide too. Miss Big Shot!

Tucking you into bed tonight…you informed us that you were Buzz Lightyear. Racing around the living room with your bath towel on your head and the cape spread out like wings, shooting us with the laser on your arm. I love that while you enjoy some girly stuff, you don’t limit yourself, and enjoy all of the fun rough and tumble stuff too…you’re the perfect mix.

The next day we went creekin’ behind the house…and you LOVED it! My only wish is that my flip flop didn’t break so easily in the mud of the creek bed…I definitely underestimated just how muddy and sticky that creek bed would be. You really got into it though so we’ll have to take you to an even better creek for more exploring, and bring Daddy next time since he is more fearless than I when it comes to really digging out critters under rocks.

We did have a slight attitude adjustment that was necessary this week. You evidently have heard this somewhere, likely at school, but one day you informed me “I’m not happy with you. See my face? I’m not laughing!” When I quizzed you a bit, I realized that you were actually just pretending and had no real beef with me, but still wouldn’t let this little charade drop. Going so far as to actually begin yelling that you weren’t my friend, and never ever, ever would be my friend, etc etc etc. Well, after a while, I had a talk with you about how saying things like that is hurtful, not nice, and that we don’t say things like that to other people. We also talked about how it’s ok to be angry, mad, or upset, but that when you yelled that I could never be your friend, you hurt my feelings, hurt my “heart”. You did seem to “get it” and eventually snapped out of your little experiment of behaviors, even apologizing to me. It’s interesting to see the kinds of stuff that you are exposed to at school when you bring it home to try out on Daddy and I. At times it can be such a little jungle there…survival of the fittest. You will be exposed to this socialization stuff eventually anyway, so I suppose it’s best to get it over with now rather than later when the stakes are higher. With the whole school experience, you have to take the good with the bad, and the good far outweighs the bad, so what are ya gonna do?

Thankfully the next day you were back to your sweet little self. On the way home, you were talking about your friends at school, saying that “Aray, John John, 'me Mali', the Imagination Movers, and 'you Mom'” are all cool. Too funny. Thanks for lumping me into your ‘cool crowd’.

We headed into the ‘ville for some flowers for the yard…and I let you pick out some for the deck. You chose white impatiens and ‘black dragons’. Good choices!

Once home, we put up your tent in the front yard. You insisted I sit inside with you and we sweated our butts off! Oh my gosh does that thing get hot inside!

sweaty matted hair!

I was happy when your friends finally showed up to play so I could get some fresh air and breathe again!

On Friday you and I headed back out for more flowers for the yard. You must have had a long week and actually fell asleep in my arms while walking through the garden center. Luckily, I got some help loading the car and just let you sleep…even taking a seat on their patio furniture display for a while to cuddle with you. As a mom, you gotta do what you gotta do when your kiddo needs some shut-eye.

Once home, you helped Daddy and I begin to weed and landscape the yard, really getting into using your wheelbarrow, garden tools, and watering can. 

new way to use your wheelbarrow

After a while, Jenny, Roman and Natalia came outside and asked if you wanted to go to Dairy Queen with them. I love having neighbors like them…and you completely love them too! In fact, you didn’t want to leave their house when you got home.

Saturday, we spent all day gardening outside, which was really nice. We rarely get a whole day for something like this, and while we’re nowhere near done, it was a good start. I loved spending the day outside, watching you explore the yard, look for and play with bugs, and helping me plant and water the flowers.

reading the planting instructions

I think your expression says, "and THAT's how you water flowers!!"

And later, thanks to our visit with Michelle, Fred, and Mia last week, you informed me that you had a baby in your belly…going so far as to have me touch your belly and telling me, “There’s his foot, there’s his head, there’s his bottom”. It was hysterical! Of course, I don’t want to hear you say any of this for real for at least another 20-25 years, okay? And Daddy would probably say for at least another 30+ years! Ha ha.

silkie is tucked into your shirt, for full pregnant belly effect

We headed over to Uncle “Happy” Joe and Tina’s house for a cookout that night. You were a bit clingy at first, but then after about an hour, I tried to come down and check on you with all the kids and you kicked me out, saying “I’m fine, go upstairs Mom!” I guess I’m not allowed near ‘kid-ville’. Ha ha. After getting kicked out of the kid-zone, I refrained from being mamarazzi with my camera, but it was really neat to eavesdrop on you at times…you were having such fun. It’s also nice to hear you so comfortable, acting silly to make the other kids laugh, and also being so kind, hearing you spontaneously sharing the snacks I would bring to you as I walked away. It made me really feel like we may just be doing at least something right as your parents.

I have no idea how Erin got you to wear that princess tiara, but it's cute!

Sam was really good with you

you wanted to sit and cuddle with Tina while we watched some Three Stooges before leaving

Sunday morning we spent just lounging around…enjoying not having anywhere in particular to be. We had a spontaneous family tickle time that you loved…wrestling with both Daddy and I, tickling each other, and playing “burrito baby” (a game that you discovered over at Natalia and Roman’s) where we roll you into a blanket just like a burrito. For some reason you think this is hysterical – even though it makes you more of a sitting duck as far as tickling goes. For some reason, I got a ton of “movie star” kisses that morning…but hey, I’m not complaining in the least. I LOVE your kisses, any time I can get them!

You headed to Gena’s with Daddy for a late 2nd breakfast, while I ran and got some housework done. As you left, I got more kisses, hugs, and multiple “I love you”’s as you walked out the door. Once at Gena’s, you got to sit at the bar, which you thought was the coolest. And once again, you owned the place with your little personality.

Sunday night we went to Memaw and Papaw’s for a visit. You were once again in rare form, playing with them like crazy and putting them in stitches. You even rolled Papaw into a burrito with your new little game.
You freely gave them both kisses before we left. A rare occurrence with you over the last 6 months or more, but hopefully we’re turning a corner on the whole kissing thing. I, for one, would definitely LOVE more kisses again!

And another thing that I loved at Memaw and Papaw’s house was watching you walk around and really begin to notice all the pictures of you that they have displayed at their house. You would walk around slowly, stopping to inspect photos without saying a word, or happily exclaiming, “Hey, that’s me!” I love seeing you see yourself as part of something bigger, an important part of our family. It was just a subtle thing to witness with all of the other crazy and playful antics of the evening, but I think it was my favorite.

Love,
Mama



Happy Mothers' Day

Maliana ~

What a week. Emotionally, I have been through the ringer. I’ve been reading a few books by a wonderful Chinese author, Xinran. She is a native Chinese journalist who actually now lives in London, however during her time in China, she both hosted a radio show, “Voices on the Night Breeze” as well as wrote several books. Two of these books are “The Good Women of China” and “Messages from an Unknown Chinese Mother”, both based on the true stories of real women who lived, or are living in China. While these books have been extremely valuable in learning more about the culture you were born into, quite probably the lives lived by your ancestors, and the many reasons that children are given up all across China, these stories were also incredibly difficult for me to read. The tales of loss and hardship were unbelievable to my western mind…I can scarcely imagine. I won’t go into great detail in this blog, because I hope that you can read and learn about what these books contained for yourself…but after reading both books, I was left fairly speechless and raw with emotion. In all honesty, I was pretty disenchanted with a lot of what I read, disgusted with the horrible devaluing of human life in many of the stories, however I am in awe of the strength of many of these women’s stories as well. I can only imagine the strength, courage, and heartbreak that your birth mother must have gone through in leaving you at those hospital gates over three years ago. We’ll never know for sure many of the details, but after reading these stories I feel confident in believing that nothing is as simple as it seems on the surface, and that she loved and still loves you very much. Of course, all of these things are matters that you will sort out on your own someday, as you and you alone see fit for yourself, however I just want you to know what I believe. And of course, to let you know that no matter what, no matter how you feel, or what you might think…my door is always open to discuss these things with you honestly, and to assist you in any way possible in solving these mysteries as best as possible. I know I don’t have much to offer you in this area, and that breaks my heart, but I will offer you everything I do have to help ease the pain that is inevitable someday.

It’s actually ironic that I just so happened to read these books on the same week that culminates in Mother’s Day here in America. It definitely put a whole new color on this particular western holiday. I couldn’t help but think about your birth parents on Sunday, in spite of all of the festivities surrounding me. As much as it put a sobering note on the day, I also spent a heck of a lot more time just looking at your little face in awe. I feel so blessed that I now have the privilege of living each day with you, lucky enough to share your life because one woman a half a world away made a very painful decision over three years ago. As selfish as this may sound, to her, I am forever grateful for giving me the opportunity to take on this awesome job title, “Mom”.

As for the festivities that I mentioned earlier, I woke up to you and Daddy making me pancakes for breakfast, then your presenting me with the super cute frame that you and Daddy had made at Color Your World. I loved it and you were so proud to present it to me!

proud, cheesy grin!

I think one of my favorite moments with just you and me on Mother’s Day was some spontaneous dancing in the kitchen. Daddy had an oldies station on and the Steve Miller Band was playing “Take the Money and Run” and so I scooped you up and we were just spinning, dancing, bouncing, singing, and being ten different kinds of silly. You were laughing so hard that you could hardly breathe. The only thing that stopped us eventually was my arms feeling like jello from throwing you up in the air repeatedly. It was one of those perfect moments that’s not planned, it just happens. And it was my favorite all day with you.

you decided doo rags were cool today...

Later in the day, we had Lao Lao, Uncle Flint, Memaw and Papaw over for a cookout. It was great to see and spend time with everyone. You are getting to be such a little stinker with the camera. Officially you have decided to stop cooperating with any picture that Daddy or I want to take, but when you do decide to cooperate, this is the face that we get.

You had Papaw and Memaw cracking up at your little antics…

here they were trying to coax you over to take a picture by pretending that your imaginary friend Hubey was in between them, when you marched over defiantly, snatched him, and took off...better luck next time Memaw and Papaw!

And Uncle Flint was so sweet, staying later than everyone else to play with you, doing whatever you liked, repeatedly, any time you would request it by saying “Do again!”

I can't tell you how many times you conned him into pushing you up the neighbors' driveway and letting go so you could roll down and he'd catch you at the bottom, giggling like mad

And of course, here is my favorite shot of you and Lao Lao in the front yard. No idea why you decided to cooperate with me here…but I’ll take it!

And of course, some additional cutie pie pics of you from Sunday...

sweet

sassy

my little cheeseball

so proud of you Mali

cute and mischievous

there's that face again!

you love those heels

and I love that smile!

splashing in the puddle with your new shoes, and about to lose your bloomers

eating the last banana fudge popsicle (my favorite)...that's how much I love you

Here are some more pictures of you and Lao Lao, who decided to surprise you by bringing over lunch for an impromptu picnic on Saturday afternoon.

sharing a milkshake

On Saturday evening, we, along with Shawn and Jen, met at Fred and Michelle’s house and you got to play with your buddies, Mia and Niubei. It was a ton of fun, and you girls are crazy!! Peas in a pod. We brought over some 'potty chair' cupcakes to celebrate Mia’s big triumph this week, and while you girls were a little leery of them, the adults had a good laugh.

see, there's even poop and pee in the middle when you lift the lid (don't worry, it's just chocolate chips and lemon pudding)

Here are some fun pictures from the evening…

jumping on the bed, look at your pigtails!

feeling for baby Freddy

Niubei giving her 'baby Mali' a ride

glasses love

and more love

As you can see, you girls had fun. We didn’t get home until 10:30pm, but the fatigue on Sunday was worth it to see the smiles and hear the giggles from all you girls.

I have to include this little picture in here too. On Sunday, I was cleaning up your room and came across your baby doll and couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast between your baby and Mia and Niubei’s baby dolls from the night before. Their dolls were all dressed so neat and pretty, in cute little outfits and completely clean. Anyway, here is your baby doll…

I had to laugh. I definitely encourage you to play and be creative in all sorts of ways…and your baby doll is proof of this. She may look like she has seen better days or been around the block a time or two…what with all of the nail polish, paint, and band aids covering her little body…but she is definitely well loved and involved in nearly everything you do, messes and all. Perhaps though, she should join you in the bathtub next time, eh?

Lao Lao stopped by on Friday night for a visit after work. In order to prepare for Sunday’s cookout, all of us girls decided to go grocery shopping together since Daddy went out for the night. Something as monotonous as grocery shopping is definitely more fun going with both you and Lao Lao.

When we got home, you and I hung out for a bit before heading to bed, and I had to laugh at something that happened (which I can’t believe I’m actually putting in your blog). Anyway, at one point I was in the kitchen and didn’t realize that you were behind me, and well, I farted...loud. (I know, I know, not exactly one of my classiest moments). Initially you yelled, “Mom!” But then, came over, patted me, and said, “It’s ok, it was an accident”. Ha ha. Thanks honey.

Throughout the rest of the week, there were various other adventures. You and I headed to the tiny local farmers’ market on one day, picking out some fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, red potatoes, and bananas for dinner. We set up your little art studio on the deck while I made dinner inside.

farmer's market

art in the sunshine

eating a fresh tomato like an apple...that first bite must have been a doozy!

Then after dinner you soaked up the one evening of sunshine this week and played with a ton of the kids in the neighborhood that decided to set up camp in our side yard tonight. You are getting to be officially accepted into the ranks of “big kid” now…fielding tee (whiffle) balls with the older kids in the driveway. Ahh, my little girl is growing up! And with such swagger too! Your strut cracks me up every time!

You, I and Audrey all went over to Red Robin for dinner one night, then Old Navy for a little shopping before heading home. While Audrey found the t-shirt she was looking for, you proceeded to inspect all of the mannequins for belly buttons and boobies…and I am happy to report that each one has a complete set. Just in case anyone else reading this blog was wondering.

in case you're wondering, you are pretending to hold Hubey up in the picture

yep, she's got one too!

Another afternoon, the one sunny afternoon all week, I showed up to pick you up at school but decided to let you play (for nearly another hour) on their playground. You were having such fun with your buddies, Aray and John John, that I couldn’t bear to take you away from them. You only get to see Aray on the playground now, since he has moved into a new class that you probably won’t get into until this fall. I love that you like to run with the boys, playing all of their games and getting along so well with them. Plus, my heart melted as I watched you and Aray, walking hand in hand around the playground, hanging out and just enjoying each other. It was so incredibly cute! I love that you have found such a good friend. I told Daddy that we really need to make an effort to set up some play dates outside of school for you two.

And finally, Daddy got to come to your speech therapy appointment with us on Monday, and was happy to see what that was like. Since you are feeling more comfortable in these appointments now, and you were probably showing off a little for Daddy, you have become a little less cooperative and a little more ornery with Miss Ashley. She even commented on what a “pistol” you are, when we were discussing your personality in relation to getting you to cooperate. That definitely made me feel better though, that it’s not just me having trouble with getting you to practice. You are definitely one headstrong and very smart little girl. These are invaluable qualities in you, however the trick right now though is figuring out how to get it to work to our advantage and motivate you appropriately to practice. Looks like we’ll just have to get more creative. You little stinker. I do see little glimmers of you applying what you are learning all on your own. Perhaps we’ll just have to wait and see.

So here’s to another week. Up and down, and everything in between. While it was a happy mother’s day, celebrated with much joy, I also carried a heavy heart. Here’s to all of the wonderful mothers out there…biological, adoptive, step, and any other woman who loving cares for and influences children as a mother figure only can, including the mothers that we may never know, but are always close to our heart.

Love,
Mama