Lucky, Lucky, Lucky

Maliana ~

Another good, but challenging week. You are absolutely, without a doubt, in the “why?” phase of your development…and I completely understand now what people were talking about when they said that the 3’s are tougher than the 2’s. Given all of your arguing (and/or whining) lately – I think you could have a career in law (or at the very least, the debate team in high school). This week has been filled with me taking a lot of deep breaths, trying to keep it all in perspective. I know that one day I will be very thankful for your feistiness and determination…but this week I am lamenting over the lengthy argument(s) we have just had about why you can’t have Easter candy for dinner. Ayi yi! I asked Ms Brandi how you have been at school and she said that you are perfect, aside from your skipping naps sometimes, they have no issues with you at all, not even asking the “why” question much there either. I’ve read about this…kids being angels at school and, we’ll just say, “much different” at home (or vice versa). Anyway, I suppose it’s good that you feel comfortable enough at home to “let your hair down” and be yourself…but whew girl! Jumping through all these hoops makes for one tired mama. You definitely keep me hoppin’!

This past Monday began with your first real working speech therapy appointment. You tried really hard, and are already making strides. It's made a little more difficult though because there is quite possibly a leak in your palate that will need to be surgically repaired before your speech will be a lot more accurate. I realize now that when I took this "job", I definitely underestimated a mama's empathy for her kid. It will be a long road, but I know we can all get there, eventually, together. I still have my own anxieties, but I am really proud of you. I try to keep practicing with you throughout the week but I'm afraid I could be beating it into the ground because you seem to be getting a little tired of it all. Even trying to turn it into a game and making it more fun, you're so smart that you know exactly what I'm doing anyway. There's no fooling you. And I’m sure it’s frustrating when you probably feel like you’re already saying everything correctly. Hopefully next week, Miss Ashley can give us some recommendations for extra tools to use for homework to make it a little more enjoyable for you.

You enjoyed playing with friends this week, Cassidy and Ace both stopping by to visit. I had to crack up one night as I came outside and you all were playing at your tool bench…with you wearing your little tool belt and a very determined look on your face. I only wish I could have gotten outside sooner when Daddy said you had your helmet with headlight on too. Ha ha.

I do want to apologize for my irritability lately kiddo. I am not quite sure what’s been up with me lately…perhaps a combination of the weather, my job, or any number of countless other things…least of which is you. So I just want to say sorry if I haven’t had my “patient pants” on lately…I’ll keep working on it and hopefully next week will be better. However, in spite of my grumpiness at times this week, we have spent some quality one on one time together anyway. We had a leisurely dinner at the little café at Giant Eagle one night, while buying flowers for your teacher that you were so excited to bring her the next morning. Actually, we were a week early for teacher appreciation week, so Ms Brandi will get flowers twice from you, lucky her!

off to school with Ms Brandi's flowers

so proud to present her with them

We took a nice walk outside with Abby one day…finding a big rock that you enjoyed climbing on, and of course practicing on the pretend “balance beam” (aka curb).

We have read a bunch of new library books together all week. I just love it when I find some that you really like. It’s like finding gold! We also took a trip to Easton, just to walk around in the somewhat warmer spring days this week, and of course to hit the photo booth again. We can’t walk by that photo booth without you wanting to get portraits done. Anything to make you happy though. And we also hit Moochie and Co. to buy Abby a fancy “designer” dog cookie. You love the stuffed dog they have out front and really didn’t want to leave it. The cookie looked so convincing though that I had to work really hard to stop you from eating it on the way home. Of course, I don’t think you’d have gotten much farther than one bite.

And here’s another quandary. I guess it’s just the difference between Moms and Dads, but Daddy is really good at riling you up and having fun…but why does he seem to always want to do it right before bedtime? It’s so hard not to join in the fun and encourage all of that giggling, but boy is it tough to get you to settle down again afterwards. But, I think I have found your magic bullet. Singing to you (everything from Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks to John Denver’s Country Roads to Justin Bieber’s Baby – that last one is upon your request of course) and tickling your back, belly, legs, arms, etc etc etc. It has worked like a charm all week. And I love doing it too because my mom used to do the same tickling for me when I was little. Just another cool “full circle” thing that happens when you become a parent.

On Thursday night you and Daddy went on a date together, making some kind of surprise for me for Mother’s Day and then having dinner at Red Robin. You were very excited about the surprise for me, albeit a little confused about who’s keeping secrets from whom. That night before bed you told me, “It’s a surprise…don’t tell me, k?” Ha ha. You had a lot of fun, came home in a great mood, and while you were gone Daddy had texted me the following pictures.

Daddy said that you and Red Robin colored for ten minutes! so cute!

buds

Like I said earlier, you have been skipping naps at school, so Friday you fell asleep in the car on the 5 minute ride home. I brought you in and laid you down while I made dinner. Once awake, you and I sat and watched the highlights of Prince William and Kate’s royal wedding together. I’m not a big “royal watcher” and didn’t DVR it, but since you’ll be in Aunt Lindsey’s wedding later this year, I thought it would be neat for you to get a feel for what a wedding is basically like, plus this was history in the making. Anyway, I also got down the picture of Daddy and I on our wedding day, so you could see us as a bride and groom too. You were actually more interested in all of the pomp and circumstance than I thought you’d be. And Daddy will be happy to know that when I asked you if you would get married and be a bride someday, you said, “Oh no!” Ha ha. You’re only 3 and that’s already one of Daddy’s fears…giving his baby away at the altar.

After Daddy got home and we ate dinner, we hit the "cool" playground and played until nearly sunset again.

hello!?!

if you look closely...you can see you're grabbing your butt (running to the potty for a quick poop, ha ha!)

walking across the rock bridge

Saturday morning Daddy took you to breakfast at Gina’s again while I went running. You had a good time, insisting on wearing your staple Cincinnati Reds hat, and of course charming the pants off everyone at Gina’s.

Saturday afternoon was all about your Uncle Dustin’s memorial. We headed to the Park of Roses to remember and celebrate Dustin’s life. It’s been 4 years to the day since he was taken, and it still hurts. I don’t know where he’d be or what he’d be doing now if he were still alive, but I do know that he would have loved you, and vice versa. If there was one thing that was important to Dustin, it was family. I just know he would have adored spending time and playing with you.

Uncle Dustin's stone

Wai Gong and Memaw Lisa helping you write a note to Uncle Dustin, to put on a balloon we let go for him

exploring the cool tree with Uncle Blaize

Aunt Lindsey and Daddy, with you still watching the balloons drift away after we all let them go

We went to Lindsey and Dustin’s mom’s house for a cookout after the memorial. It was fun to see everyone, reminisce about Dust, and play in the backyard. You made a particularly good impression on one woman there, and here’s why. At one point, you had really wanted to go outside the yard to the sidewalk and see Daddy, who was talking with some people there. You wouldn’t take no for an answer, and so in seeing this, one woman had agreed to walk you down there to see Daddy since I was busy talking with Aunt Lindsey and some other people. Well, about 5-10 minutes later, you were back in the yard and you and I were walking to get you a drink or something, and we passed this woman again. All on your own, you reached over, stopped her, looked up and said, “Thank you!” Well, this woman’s face just lit up and she began gushing about how sweet and polite that was, telling everyone within earshot about you and how that just “made her day”. I was pretty taken aback by it too…how thoughtful and polite it was. It was a proud and reassuring moment for me…because I realized that the things that we are trying to teach you are actually being soaked up. In spite of the many challenges of earlier in the week, you are definitely still becoming the sweet, thoughtful, and amazing kid that I’ve come to know. It was pretty cool to see evidence of that in this little exchange, and confirmation of the impact it can have on other people with this woman’s reaction to it. Very very neat stuff.

"hey Mali, that's not exactly the goal of cornhole!"

now you're getting it

making sand masterpieces with Wai Gong and Uncle Blaize

There was one incident at the cookout where my “mama bear” had to come out though. One particular little boy there was pretty ill-behaved. He kept throwing sand at everyone who was trying to play in the little sandbox area, which was really getting on all of our nerves, especially because his parents were oblivious to it and he could not have cared less about our meaningless reprimands. Anyway, as a rule I try to let you work out how to deal with kids like this as much as possible, since you’ll have to learn to do it on your own at some point anyway. But I do draw the line when it comes to physical harm, and so when this kid wound up with a handful of sand and took aim at your head, I stood up, put on my scary mom face and said in my most scary mom voice, “Don’t you EVER throw sand at my kid’s head…I’ll scoop you up so fast and have you back with your mom and dad, you won’t even know what hit you!” Well…it worked. The boy just sat there, looking all wide-eyed at me, hand still above his head, and then slowly dropped the sand. Ahhh. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless…and my baby was safe, so mission accomplished.

obviously one of the nicer moments between you and that little boy

You were going to spend the night at Wai Gong’s on Saturday, while Daddy and I hit yet another cookout that night. Just before leaving for Wai Gong’s, you came to me and said, in your most sincere and empathic voice, “I gotta go to Wai Gong’s, ok?”…then reached over and stroked my arm, with very concerned eyes that seemed to be worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle a night away from you. I had to stifle a giggle, and played along. It was the cutest and sweetest gesture. Under all of that orneriness…you are one sensitive little girl.

On Sunday morning we picked you up at Wai Gong’s and you were so tired, but deliriously happy, and not wanting to leave to come home. You had had a blast with them, making pizzas from scratch (with the cutest video taken of the whole thing), and playing hide and seek, jumping on their trampoline, watching the movie Cars, building a blanket fort for the sleepover, then stuffing your face with heart-shaped pancakes and eggs for breakfast.

the pizza makers!

and voila! it was as delicious as it looks!

the heart shaped pancakes

While it stung a bit that you weren’t dying to come home when we showed up, it made me very happy at the same time. As I’ve said before in other post(s) to you, I never really had any visits or sleepovers with my grandparents when I was young, due to lots of various family issues. So it makes me feel infinitely blessed that you are growing up with THREE whole sets of grandparents who clearly adore you and are able to be a regular part of your life. You always want for your children what you never had growing up, and so in this respect, I feel so fortunate to be able to give you this and witness the joy you have when spending time with each, and every one, of your grandparents. I feel so lucky to be a part of this.

Love,
Mama

Happy Easter!

Maliana ~

I don’t know if it’s the weather or what, but I have felt so weighted down this week. We have had a solid week of rain, with only one single bright sunny day. I’m hoping that next week is more bright. Anyway, if this letter seems a bit blah, that’s why.

The week did start on a good note as far as you’re concerned. I’m sure you remember my previous entries where I mention a kid at school who has been somewhat bullying to you, intimidating you by getting in your personal space and what-not. Well, when I picked you up on Monday, you were excited to share with me that you were able to use what we have been practicing; looking as big as you can, staring right at him, putting your hand up in a stop motion, and telling him “Back!” as loudly as you can. I guess it went well because you were pretty pleased with yourself by the time I got there, and you later told me that he is nice now. I have no idea what actually happened, but I’m just realized that you seem to be feeling a bit more empowered now. Way to go girl!

As soon as we left school on Monday, we raced over to your first speech therapy appointment. It was mainly a meet and greet where the therapist talked to me about you, but we did get an idea of how things would go. At one point, as Miss Ashley and I were talking, you came over and said, “What are you talking about?” You could tell we were discussing you, but didn’t quite fully understand. I explained as best I could, trying to be very encouraging and normalizing. You are just so dang perceptive and sensitive. I also couldn’t help but feel a bit sad in a way. I know that this therapy will be a challenge, and you potentially could need an additional surgery to close the “leak” that they suspect is there, in order to build up the air to produce certain sounds better. As we drove home, I just kept wishing I knew how all of this was going to go, so that I could spare you any disappointment or frustration along the way. I guess it’s the first time I felt any anxiety about your speech so far. Believe me, I am proud of you beyond belief, but I just want to do all that I can to help you through this…and I guess I just wonder (and worry a bit) if I am up to the challenge. We’ll see. I’ll definitely do my best.

Once home, a couple neighborhood kids came over to play with you, and you all got your first ice cream truck treat of the season. It was cute to watch you hanging with the other kids, playing in our yard, officially moving into the ranks of the “big kids” lately. You even kicked me off the deck, saying “Mom, we playing!” My how you grow so fast!

gotta love your mismatched band aids

just before you kicked me off the deck

Tuesday we took Daddy (and his coworkers) ice cream treats to work. You liked visiting everyone and, as always, were a big hit in the office.

Audrey Ayi visited us on Wednesday. You invited her into your “lair” (aka your tent) and plucked around on your guitar with her. Actually, Audrey plays the cello so we’ll definitely have to go over to her house sometime and you can watch her play that big old instrument. I’m sure you’d really get a kick out of that.

chord lesson from Audrey Ayi

Thursday, the only sunny day of the week, I couldn’t help but really want to do something fun outside and so we took the opportunity to make a complete mess and dye Easter eggs on the front porch. It worked out great and you really loved it. You were having so much fun, I just let you explore and play…in spite of the nearly permanent green stain on your hands (which is only just now about all the way off)!

plunk!

posing while you wait

it's changing color!

my miniature incredible hulk

insisting on writing on the eggs after they were dyed, despite my instructions otherwise

peeling and sampling your work

not too shabby kid

This particular night, I had book club, so you headed off to Memaw and Papaw’s with Daddy, but not before you played for one last time in that darn box of yours with Cassidy and Ace.

the box was sadly retired after this play session

Memaw and Papaw had an egg hunt for you at their house, as well as your Easter basket. You had fun, performing your hula dance to “On My Way Home” for them, and feeding them candy with your little green hands.

look at that smile!

The next morning, Friday, I got a phone call at 7:30am, with Memaw going on and on about how sweet and fun you are, how you are such a character. She also told me that Papaw just goes on and on about you after you leave, saying how precious you are. (I have to absolutely 100% agree!)

When I picked you up at school on Friday, you were having your spring party, and having a blast with all of the decorations and treats with your friends. Evidently you must have really been in good spirits because Miss Adrienne told me, “Mali is so awesome! Her personality is just ‘out there’!” Not quite sure what that means…but you are definitely a favorite there. I can only imagine what kind of antics prompted that comment. Ha ha. On the way home we talked about how the Easter bunny was coming on Sunday, and you said, “Easter bunny nice, he no hit”…well, umm, yes, that’s correct. I had to laugh, nothing like pointing out the obvious. Of course, these random descriptive comments are a good indicator for the climate at school…a yardstick for how the world is measured in the eyes of pre-preschoolers.

gummy bunny teeth from your spring party

That night, you were so silly, laughing hysterically and barely able to settle down to sleep, the kind of crazed laughing where you can barely breathe and nearly everything is funny. I love those nights…even if it means you don’t actually get to sleep for much longer than it should take.

Saturday morning we got up fairly early to take part in our first race, the Bunny Hop 5K and Easter Egg Hunt. I ran the 5K with you, Daddy, and Lao Lao cheering me on, then you (Miss Big Shot) ran the kids’ 100 Yard Dash. You were awesome! So many of the parents ran alongside their kids, but you did great all on your own. You loved the t-shirt you got, the cheering, giving high 5’s while you ran, and of course crossing the finish line. You loved it so much that Daddy snuck you into the older kids’ heat, just after all of them had passed, and so you got to cross the finish line again. When Daddy set you down, you were like a wind-up toy, taking off like mad, and making the crowd laugh out loud. You are a spit-fire!

thumbs up and ready to race!

getting stoked for the kids' 5 and under 100 yd dash

off to the starting line!

look at that form! (this was when Daddy snuck you into the back of the older kids' heat)

medal and a cookie!

the gang after the races

The egg hunt was one of the muddiest I have seen in my life. However, in spite of all the mud, we made the best of it and you had fun. Carter, Cassidy, Jenny and Bryan all came for the egg hunt so you got to see your buddies. You were a little disenchanted with the wet muddy eggs in the grass so were a little slow in picking up your loot (and boy did those eggs get scooped up quickly!), but Carter and Cassidy seemed to be old pros and made out quite nicely.

we forgot your basket, but the race swag bag worked just fine for the egg hunt

happy (and muddy) camper

with your buds and your loot

After we came home, you and Daddy took a 3 hour nap…a nice reward for a big exciting morning. Of course, not until you had checked out Lao Lao's Easter bucket for you and made her "look all pretty" with a makeover. Ha ha.

hold still Lao Lao (what you can't see in this picture is that you are wearing your "Animal Hospital" veterinarian costume while you apply her makeup, ha ha)

Easter Sunday was bittersweet. Unfortunately, Daddy had to work, so we got up early and had your egg hunt from the Easter bunny really early. Of course, getting up early doesn’t matter to a 3 year old. You loved finding the eggs, getting all excited, and then bummed once all were found. You loved the thrill of the hunt.

Mom? Why is there a trail of carrots in the hallway?

getting the hang of it now

You and I ate the Easter eggs that we had colored for breakfast, which you thought was cool as you peeled them, then sneaked the yolks to your girl Abby, the perfect accomplice.

 

We had every intention of getting much more done on Sunday, but what with my feeling so weighted down all week and your needing more rest on the weekends, we ended up relaxing and then napping throughout the day. We accidentally slept through being able to meet up with the Wilkinson side of the Easter gathering, with Daddy being on call anyway, and then not wanting to disrupt your naps on the weekend (since you don’t typically nap all that well at school), we decided to just let the day be what it was. We did wake up in barely enough time to meet Lao Lao, Grandpa Rick, and Uncles Flint and Forge for an early dinner at Cap City Diner. You got to wear your Easter dress…and we all called you Princess Mali…with you discovering the joy of spinning in a fancy dress and watching it flow out all around you. Just like I used to love doing as a little girl. We took a to-go meal home for Daddy, and while I was packing it and your leftovers up, I asked you if you wanted to take your chicken home, and you said, “Yeah, and Lao Lao too”…hmm, I don’t think we have a take-out box big enough for her kid, ha ha.

Happy Easter from Princess Mali

standing in front of the giant gumball machine at Cap City Diner

Once home, Memaw and Papaw stopped over for a visit and brought Daddy some leftovers from the Wilkinson gathering. It was nice to see them today, since we had missed everyone earlier. Memaw was hoping to get a picture of you in your pretty dress, but oh boy do you hate ruffles. It’s not the look of them you don’t like, it’s how stiff and scratchy they can feel. You couldn’t take that dress off fast enough…wearing just your puppy dog underwear and a ribbon in your hair the rest of the night. But you still looked beautiful with the late afternoon sunlight in your hair...the sunlight that decided to surprise us, a final Easter gift before bedtime.
All in all, it wasn’t exactly the Easter I had been envisioning all week, but it was a good one, nonetheless. Whenever Daddy has to work…it’s tough. But we make the best of it.

When I finally climbed into bed that night, I couldn’t help but press my lips to your plump and soft little cheek before settling in. As you lay there so peacefully, it just begged to be kissed. You smelled of sleep, and made a soft little sigh as you repositioned yourself in dreamland. Yeah, Easter was different than I expected this year, but it turned out just perfect.

Love,
Mama