Adventures With Our Virginia Visitors

Maliana ~

Well, girlfriend. The past week has been full of ups and downs. It's mostly revolved around your adjustment to this new school year. It's been trying at times and you were actually feeling pretty blue on Tuesday. Being in a brand new class, discovering that your circles of friends from kindergarten are shifting, and attempting to begin new relationships while not feeling quite sure where you fit in at all times is hard. I remember. I used to feel the same way from time to time in school. It can be lonely. As a parent, I also know that these uncomfortable situations can be good growth opportunities. They can be good tools to help you discover more about who you are and developing a strong future self. I know all of these things, but nonetheless, it’s painful to watch your struggle. 

At the current stage of your adjustment, lunch and recess are two parts of your day that are shaking you up and challenging your confidence. You have come home with a few stories that made my heart ache. Fortunately for us, we have Daddy on our side. Good old Daddy. On Thursday, he happened to have the day off of work and decided he was going to surprise you at recess. Well, he most certainly did! You spotted him as you walked out to the playground and ran and jumped into his arms. He not only hung out and played with you that afternoon, but basically allowed 80+ first graders to man-handle him as well. He was a little like the pied piper on that playground. Essentially, your daddy is just a large kid himself, so he was the perfect person to send in for the job. He brightened your day, made all of the kids laugh and squeal, and before he left, introduced you to the entire first grade. When he called to tell me about it at work later, I cried. You are on the map now, kid. Whether you like it or not. Hopefully this makes a positive difference for you. Regardless of what happens, one thing is for certain; we sure are lucky to have a daddy like our daddy. He’s pretty great.

By the end of the week, (which we never thought would get here), we finally got to welcome our friends from Virginia, the Williams family! They arrived late on Friday evening, nearly midnight(!), but that was no problem as we enjoyed hanging out on our deck and looking at the moon while we waited up. In doing so, we discovered that you desperately need a telescope though…

you actually could see the moon through these
binoculars, believe it or not!

It was great to see Brad, Stacy, Sierra, Laurel, and Cadence again and even though we all just crashed into bed when they got here, we got to wake up and spend all weekend with them. Saturday was your long awaited Family Day Party, precisely 3 months after our actual Family Day and just a day after Cadence's. We waited to throw the party this year so that it could coincide with their visit and we could combine both yours and Cadence’s celebrations. It was a great turnout, the rainy weather held off, and since we were directly next to a playground this year, you kids were very busy having a blast running and climbing and playing on the jungle gyms during the whole party. To be honest, I barely got any pictures of you or the older girls because you were so busy all afternoon. It reminded me again that you are definitely getting to the age where I don’t see you much because friends are way more fun and much much cooler than Mom and Dad are anymore. And I ain’t gonna lie – it stings a little to have officially become 'uncool'. Feeling you pull away, as every kid must do, is also just the tiniest bit uncomfortable for me since you and I have always been so close. *sigh* C’est la vie, I suppose. You are growing up; and that’s a good thing. What was it that I was just saying about those uncomfortable situations being growth opportunities? Hmmm. I guess I need to take my own advice, huh? I'll work on that. I promise. 

Anyway, here are some photos from the party…chock up another successful celebration of all of the diverse families that we have had the joy of knowing this year. I love having so many reasons to celebrate and doing so with our friends, family, and 'framily'!

Papaw and Daddy

Brian and Pam

Jack and Pam

Uncle Forge getting a squeeze from Memaw

Audrey Ayi, Lao Lao and Jenny

me and my mama, your lao lao

Stacy and me

Sophia

KK and the octopus hot dog I made her

the boys and their meat
(how many men does it take to grill?)

some of us Fu mommies!
(Jenny, Christina, and yo mama)

Brad loved Lao Lao's guacamole

Sierra

pretending to drive a school bus

Lainey and Carter

Cadence

Sammy

Cassidy

Carter (and Christina the prankster)

Memaw and Papaw

Jess, Daddy, and Courtney (who evidently likes KFC)

Jack

the kiddos

we brought mancala, of course!

Mark and Jenny
(and Daddy photo-bombing)

Brian...everyone liked to take a spin
on Uncle Forge's skate board

Cori, Sophia, and David

Maddie

Brad aka Skater Dude

Cadence and Lainey really hit it off, so fun to
see our friends come together

Happy Family Day Williams family!

Happy Family Day to us!

on our way home from another successful Family Day party,
hizzah!!

After the party, Stacy and I headed downtown to see Audrey Ayi’s art show at the gallery while Daddy and Brad held down the fort with all of you crazy kids (you, Laurel, Sierra, Cadence, Joey, Alex, Sammy, and even Sophia and Cori were all playing at our house when we left ~ good luck, dads!). This particular show was a little different than Audrey’s last show as this time she had also included art from you, Cori and Sophia. It was a great show and so neat to see Audrey’s art on display again. I’m hoping to bring you back down to the gallery when you are more well-rested so you can see your art work for yourself. However, here are a few pictures of it. You are officially a galleried artist, kiddo. So sweet of Audrey to do this for you girls.

our favorite local artist at her second art show

your works of art are the far left and bottom pieces

special acknowledgements from the artist,
Audrey Ayi

long view of Audrey's art show...yours, Cori's and Sophia's
artwork on the far right side of the photo

your portrait for Audrey of the art museum that she
will be working for soon

By the time we all hit our pillows on Saturday evening, we were pretty exhausted. We had originally planned on hitting the zoo on Sunday, but made a last minute detour to go out to Aunt Beth and Uncle Kevin’s so all of you girls could spend more time together. It was a good call because Uncle Kevin’s place is pretty fun; goats, chickens, a go-kart, a golf cart, a trampoline, more riding toys for the little ones and 5 acres of land for you kids (and grown-ups) to go crazy! Memaw and Papaw even met us out there with pizza and wings and it was a mini-reunion from the beach (minus a few). It was a really nice last day spent together before they headed back home. 

battling with the goats

Lisa and Maggie are so cute, not sure which one this is

I love KK's photo-bomb in the back

if you look closely, you are reaching for KK who is running
after the golf cart and reaching for you

Daddy let you take the golf cart for a spin

getting ready to take the go-kart out...

and tearing it up!

go-karts and trampolines..we were begging for a trip
to the ER that day, weren't we?!

kids + a golf cart = endless hours of fun

if you notice, we're all giggling here because just as the timer
was *almost* ready to snap the pic, a goat strolled by and
*almost* ate the camera strap...we were freaking
out just a tiny bit. ha!

Just before heading out to Kevin and Beth’s, you and I had to make a slight detour to your first group swim lesson though. You’d had some individual lessons at the beginning of the summer, but these are your first group lessons in a few years. I am hopeful that you will get more out of them now that you’re older. So far, you seem to be responding well and agreed to at least try everything your instructor asked of you. Fingers crossed! A lot of work ahead, but it was a good start. Proud of you, kid.

all lined up, listening to your instructor

it was so hard for me to feel comfortable sitting so
far away from you as you swam (all on your own)
with a kick board in deep water like this

I'm so proud of you, Munchkin!

Sunday evening we had a bonfire with the VA crew before they headed home bright and early the next morning. Since it was your last night together, you and Cadence wanted to attempt to sleep together in your big loft bed. You read bedtime stories together and were off to a good start, but a few minutes after I came back out to the bonfire, you both showed up on the top deck, asking me to come inside because you needed something. Evidently, it was a bit too much to sleep in there alone and so I agreed to let you both sleep with me in our big bed. Within 5 minutes of us laying down together, you both were out like a light. Two exhausted munchkins. Poor Daddy was relegated to sleeping in your loft bed that night. Sorry Daddy!

reading your bedtime story to KK

two sleeping munchkins (on Daddy's side of the bed, ha!)

Our visits with the Williams family always seem to go by way too fast, especially this one; but it’s nice to have friends that we feel so comfortable around, with whom we have so much fun and laugh so much, and just generally get along so well together. Many more memories were made this weekend. So thankful they could come and spend this time with us, strengthening and enriching the little village that we all now share.

Feeling full and blessed.

Love,
Mama

Mr. and Mrs. God and "Black Guy Susans"

Maliana ~

This upcoming week is crunch time as I finish up this blog, get work caught up so I can take time off, and prep for both your Family Day party and our visitors from Virginia. I feel like so much is happening all at once that I can't keep up with anything, and that includes the thoughts in my head. That being said, if I sound a little crazy or disjointed, well, that's why. Anyhoo...here we go.

This past Monday was a rotten day for both of us. You began blinking again and even had to go to the nurse for a belly-ache at school (both signs we have come to recognize as ways your body communicates that you are under stress). With these red flags going up all at once, we decided it best to push the pause button and head to Hoover for a little time to reconnect with each other and forget about our troubles for a while. Skipping rocks and chatting in the woods was just what the doctor ordered to turn our day around.

writing each other surprise messages
in the sand on the bank

skipping rocks

when you saw this picture, you asked "were there colors in the
olden days?" ...after much questioning, I found out that you thought
perhaps people used to be just shades of grey based on the appearance
of old black and white photos...pretty interesting
observation from my little scientist!

Along with dealing with some new 'big kid type' stress at school lately, you've also begun doing your own hair as well. You work hard on it too. A prelude of your teenage years, I'm sure.

look at that concentration

I call this a "reverse Guido"

This past week I also had some time to reflect on some more of your funny little quirks lately, such as...

~ Requesting peanut butter toast by asking for "square-shaped bread with peanut butter".
~ And while you like to eat peanut butter toast, you tell me that you are nervous to bring peanut butter to school because of other kids' allergies (aww...such a considerate soul).
~ Refusing to call pink, pink...but preferring to say it is "light, light red".
~ You love to play "spy kids" at school recess and are currently having trouble deciding between being a vampire and a spy for Halloween.
~ And finally, asking if we could throw you a "surprise booster seat party" when you finally make weight to move up and out of your car seat and into a booster seat.

Here are a few more of your quirks, as shared with our friends and family on Facebook:

~ on the way home from school, M informed me that she will be "prance-forming" in her school's Christmas show on December 16th and wants her family there. Mark your calendars...can't wait...I've never seen a "prance-formance" before!

and

~ just signed M up for her first hip hop class...while checking out the studio last night, this happened:
M: "Will I get to do a back flip?"
Me: "Hmmm...probably not in the first class."

I love, love, love all of these funny little quirks about you, and so so so much more.

You also enjoyed helping Daddy stain part of the upper deck.

like father...

like daughter

We played on the playground for a bit on Friday when I came to get you, however between the oppressive heat and our need to celebrate the start of a long weekend, we cut out early for milkshakes on the way home. As we got in the car, you told me about how you got some reward tickets in your classroom that day. Basically, students can earn special tickets at any time for doing good deeds, being a good listener, obeying rules, being kind, etc...and then they can trade them in for prizes and privileges throughout the year. You went on to share that you had earned one of these tickets for choosing not to do anything when a little boy in your class kept pushing and pushing you. Of course, my mama bear radar went up when I heard this. Who the heck is pushing my kid around? But, as I asked you more questions, I realized that this is the little boy in your class who happens to have Down Syndrome. As you explained further to me, looking right into my eyes and saying, "He just doesn't know any better, Mom." Evidently, the teacher has made it clear to you and the rest of the kids in your class that this little boy, just like every other first grader, is still learning to make good choices and control his impulses better. As your story sunk in and I realized that you had made a decision with the maturity of someone much older than just your 6 years, my heart was touched. Miss Stenger must have been proud of you too, having noticed and rewarded your maturity with that ticket. As we drove home, I made sure to tell you how proud I was that you chose to be kind to this boy and tried to understand things from his perspective instead of retaliating when he pushed you. It made my heart both swell and breathe a sigh of relief at the same time. You have such an old, kind and wise soul in you.

That night, Daddy took you over to Uncle Joe's for a dudes' night of cards, while I went to a movie with Lao Lao and Aunt Tina.

evidently you kicked butt in War ~ our little card shark!

Saturday morning, in spite of all of the preparations that are needed for the upcoming week, our little family unit decided to take a break from it all and spend some quality time together. I was feeling terribly disconnected from you and Daddy and I was missing just the three of us hanging out all together something fierce. I decided to surprise both of you, whisking you off on an adventure but not telling you where we were going. I love surprises like that (even though I am usually horrible at keeping the surprise a secret most of the time)!

no idea where you were headed, but you're
prepared with your spy goggles

You were both good sports about the surprise and we all ended up having a great time together at the Olentangy Indian Caverns. None of us had been there before so it was a brand new experience. As we explored and meandered together, I realized how important it is to yell "Stop!" now and then, deliberately stepping back from all the craziness that is everyday life, and carve out special family time like this. It's been way too long for us and it felt so good to just be with the two of you again.

using your spy goggles to look at the map

cavern family selfie

with the cavern all around you, I think you
look part human, part alien here

you took this photo for Daddy and me because
I loved how that archway looked behind us

gem mining was a big hit

Sunday was a rainy day spent inside getting chores done. That afternoon I headed to Allie's bridal shower but luckily Daddy and Lao Lao were there to play with you and help you with homework.
I left to the sounds of you wrestling with Daddy and laughing up a storm, came home to you and Daddy sitting at the table and finishing up your homework for school, and then later found a note that was dictated by you to Lao Lao as she helped you with an "investigation of Daddy's crime spree" while I was gone. Ha. So thankful for these two grown ups who are forever young at heart.

Daddy, the jungle gym

Suzy's turn

Mali's turn

where'd the ball go, girls?

part of the note reads, "subject instigated a fight.
changed his mind about fighting" ~ you two are
a regular Sherlock and Holmes team. Ha!

That night, you, Lao Lao and I sat together and went through your photo album of our adoption trip to China. We talked about all the pictures once again and as we got to a photo of us in front of a Buddhist temple with incense burning, the conversation landed on ancestors. You asked if you had ancestors. As I began to explain that you do have ancestors and that they are related to your birth parents, you clammed up. I could tell that it had struck a chord with you but that you simply were not ready to talk or ask about it yet. And that's ok. I tried to tell you that if you ever need to talk or ask about your China family, that Daddy and I are always here to listen, talk, or do anything else you need us to do. Honestly, I wasn't sure exactly what to say in that moment. I just knew that I wanted to reassure you, somehow... but I have no idea if it got through. You stayed so quiet and squirmed the slightest bit on my lap. I knew you weren't comfortable yet. I can't really tell much about how you are taking it all in yet. But I know that you are definitely thinking something. I don't know what this journey will look like for you. But I know that it's not going to be simple. And again, that is ok. No matter what you are wondering, worried about, confused about, feel indifferent or angry about, feel curious about, just need to vent about, or any of the million other emotions or needs you may have that are completely normal in a situation like this but that perhaps I failed to mention; I want you to know that none of it is too big for either your daddy or me to handle. I know that there are certain parts of this journey of self-discovery that you will need to do alone and/or without your Daddy and me. But I also hope that when the time comes, you can feel comfortable enough to tell us anything and be confident that we are here to help out of love for you, and your China family. Honestly, we likely have many of the same questions that you are already asking, if not out loud, then in your heart. I hope you can let us be there if / when you need us. I hope. I just hope. I hope with all of my heart.

talking about our trip to China through pictures

The one thing I definitely thought was very interesting is that shortly after we hit this lull in our conversation about your ancestors and your China family, you asked, "Mom, what is God?" Hmm. Now that's an excellent question. Both Lao Lao and I took a moment, then shared each of our personal understandings of God with you, and talked about how there are as many personal ideas and understandings of God as there are people in the world. We also encouraged you to ask other family members, people like Memaw and Papaw for example, what they think God is as well. We talked about how there are many different religions all throughout the world and that they each have their own ideas about what God is too. Then we asked you what you thought about God. You took a moment and then asked if you could draw a quick picture before bed. This is what you came up with...

Mr. and Mrs. God, in their golden cave, with their crowns
and thrones (because he is the king of the world), and God
 is looking to the side because he's "busy making people"

I love that you are getting older and capable of having more in depth conversations now. It's fascinating to me to listen to your interpretation of the world and your understanding of our place in it. My budding young philosopher.

Finally, Monday was our bonus weekend day, Labor Day. I personally enjoyed some peace and quiet in the early morning at the garden center where I filled up on hot coffee and the beauty of some gorgeous flowers to begin my day, bringing home more mums for us to plant and some clay pots for you to paint in cheerful colors.

instead of "black eyed susans", you call these
beauties "black guy susans" = awesome

it didn't even matter that it began to sprinkle a bit,
nothing was going to stop your creativity

The rest of the day we worked at home, ordered dinner in, and rounded out the evening on a walk with Suzy and Abby. Another weekend in the books. Bring on the short week. We're ready for it.

Love,
Mama