Secret Santa Missions, Special Family Gatherings, and the Scariest Moments of My Life

Maliana ~

We got a tiny bit more snow on Monday so guess who was outside playing with our new toy from Uncle Joe and Aunt Tina? Yep...my two kids ~ you and Daddy!

That night in bed you also surprised us by actually reading Ten Apples Up On Top! I couldn't believe it...I hope you let me film you doing that one of these days soon while you're still in this beginning reader phase. It's just so adorable.

The next day I was feeling a bit down...my holiday blues have been simmering for a while now but by Tuesday they had hit a new low and I was really struggling all day long. The night before, I had thrown together a dinner to take to some dear friends who are going through a rough patch right now and I had asked if I could come and drop it off on Tuesday. On the way home from work, I got an idea to try to bring a little extra fun and Christmas magic too. I ran over to the store and got a few gifts, one for the daughter of our friend with whom we also left the dinner, and the other two gifts for some other dear friends of ours who live nearby and I knew would appreciate these particular shenanigans. To make a long story short, we wrapped the gifts, addressed them to each child, and wrote "From: The North Pole" on them, then left each one at their doorsteps. The first family was not home when we arrived and so we left everything on the porch, sending a quick text to make sure they were coming home shortly and would see our packages. The second house we went to, they did happen to be home and so we rang the doorbell and hightailed it into their bushes, shushing each other and giggling the whole time. We couldn't hear or see much, so we were totally busted as we tried to sneak back to our car. Luckily, the kiddos are still clueless as to who exactly it was that left the packages. We really appreciate each of these families so you and I both got the biggest kick out of making these deliveries and hopefully spreading some Christmas cheer. And you know what? My holiday blues are a bit lighter now. What do ya know...Christmas magic.

shhhh...it's Operation Secret Christmas Mission

Thursday was a crazy busy day but we all made it through just fine. In spite of having gone to bed a tad late the night before, you even got yourself up and dressed before Daddy was even ready for work. Wow! Upon arriving at home, we found a package from your "Auntie" Jo in Colorado waiting on our doorstep. You had to have been the most excited kid in Ohio to have gotten this gift and lugged the huge box all the way up our stairs by yourself. As you opened each item, you exclaimed, "How did she know that I love all of this stuff?!?" We both agreed that it was so very thoughtful and kind of Jo...we really appreciated it. You ended up playing with everything that night and are so excited to wear the clothes in the final week leading up to Christmas.

it was even wrapped on the inside of the package!
very cool!

After the Colorado package excitement, you headed to Cabela's with Daddy and had some more fun. I've never been to the store but from what you guys told me, it sounds pretty neat.

howdy partner!

Friday was your winter party for your kindergarten class. I helped out again but did not plan the entire thing this time. It was really fun to watch all of you kids in all of your excitement, participating in each activity and being silly together. It's always so entertaining to spend the afternoon with a bunch of kindergarteners. Never a dull moment!

Saturday we headed off on our 2nd annual pilgrimage to Punderson State Park to celebrate Christmas with Lao Lao and Uncle Forge (Papaw Rick and Uncle Flint both were swamped with work). It was too wet and rainy to enjoy a sleigh ride so we stayed at the cabin instead. I decked it out in Christmas lights the second we walked in the door and we settled in for yummy snacks, games, crafts, and a gift exchange. You insisted that we turn off all phones and the tv, then you played our "gift elf" and passed out all of the presents. When it was time to take turns opening them, you surprised us all by suggesting that each and every person take their turn before you opened your first present. It was the sweetest thing to watch you sincerely delight in the giving and not just the getting. You are embodying the true spirit of Christmas and it is beautiful.

with Uncle Forge

Christmas elf Mali

giving Lao Lao the Secret Santa gift
that you picked out all by yourself

now you finally took your turn and opened your
first gift after everyone else had opened
one of theirs...you are the most
generous 5 year old I know

you love this koala from Uncle Forge,
naming it Koalie

I love your face in this picture...giving
Lao Lao your handmade gift

showing us how you made it

hand-print snowman Christmas ornament

electro gadget lab!

giving Lao Lao her annual calendar
with photos of you

figuring out the electro gadget lab with Lao Lao

all on your own now...you loved this thing!

Mommy Claus, Daddy Claus, and our ornery elf

we dubbed this "kindergarten wine" and the name
is sticking...you kept asking all night,
"Mom, can I have some more kindergarten wine?"
and "Where's my wine?" ...ha ha.

3 generations in matching jammies all
snuggled in and watching SNL

The next morning we packed up and headed out, but not without you expressing your wish to stay another night because you were having so much fun. Me too, kid. Me too. It really was a very nice kick off to our special time with family during this week before Christmas.

figuring out your rainbow loom the next morning

working hard on it...

and yay! figured it out!

looking at our view of the lake from the
screened in porch with Daddy

obligatory group shot before leaving

and....the obligatory silly shot

the reindeer Uncle Forge and Lao Lao got us...
right after you found some twigs for antlers

Once we got home, we took a deep breath, dropped off our suitcase, took showers, and headed back out to Uncle Kevin and Aunt Beth's for the Wilkinson gift exchange. It was more Christmas celebration and chaos as you had a barrel of fun with your crazy cousins.

Papaw had hidden a stocking for each of you and the hunt
for the stockings is what kicked off the night

hugs for your Secret Santa Sammy

silly Memaw

I am so glad that Alex loved our gift to her,
a crystal growing kit ~ she couldn't
wait to try it out!

some downtime with the little kitty
(shortly after this picture was taken, you asked
me if we could adopt a kitten too)

And before going to bed that night, not only did I have all of this family time to be thankful for, but also something much, much bigger. Daddy saved your life. Literally. Just before leaving for home, you put one of those strawberry hard candies with the jelly centers in your mouth, you took a couple of wrong breaths and wham, you were choking. I didn't even know you had placed it in your mouth until you came in the kitchen and made a couple of gasps and then nothing. Aunt Beth had the best angle to look at you and immediately said, "She's choking!" Daddy then leapt into action and performed the Heimlich on you until the piece of candy came out. About two thrusts is what it took. I was still trying to wrap my brain around what was happening and once I did, it was like it all was going in slow motion. I was terrified. I felt panicky. It seemed like those few seconds lasted forever. After the candy came out, I scooped you up in my arms and squeezed you tight. My fear turned to anger which turned to what I was really going through all along...complete and absolute terror. Something like this happening has been one of my biggest fears and I felt awful that it had come true. I felt like I should have known better, like I should have done more. I couldn't shake all of the horrific "what if?" 's running through my mind. I know, I know...things turned out ok and we all learned a valuable lesson. However, I can't help but be completely shaken by the realization that I would never, ever recover if anything ever happened to you. On the way home, we all made a pact and agreed, no more hard candy, EVER! I know that this spooked you about as much as it spooked us, so I am pretty comfortable that this lesson will stick with you too. As I walked you inside the house, I began crying again...whispering to you that I just love you so much, that you are my heart and soul, and that I never want anything bad to ever happen to you. 

Could my continued freak-out after the fact have traumatized you more? Possibly. However, I just felt the deep need for you to know, really know, that you honest-to-God mean the world to me. There's never a bad time to tell your kid(s) how much they mean to you. Never. This experience is a great example of probably the most difficult part of being a parent...no matter who you are, the possibility that something like this can happen is always there, lurking in the shadows. It's the most terrifying thing in the world. It reminds me of the following saying, "Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” -Elizabeth Stone. ...After a night like we had...no truer words have ever been spoken. God, I love you kid.

Love,
Mama

Christmas Is Coming...

Maliana ~

Monday was, in one word...ROUGH. You were still catching up on lost sleep from the weekend and so threw quite the tantrum and took quite the nap after school. Luckily by Tuesday, you were feeling much more like yourself (thank goodness!). Via Facebook, here is what I had to say about Monday:

~ while I sometimes worry about Mali being on the low end of the growth chart for height and weight for her age, I was reminded of one advantage to this tonight...in the event of a complete and total meltdown at Kroger over dark chocolate/peppermint covered pretzels, I realized I am still able to carry not only her out to the car (while kicking, thrashing about, and screaming "I want it!" at the top of her lungs) but also a gallon of milk and my purse...ahh, good times.
#gottabethickskinnedtobemommy #saveyourjudgmentfellowshoppers #poorkiddowasexhausted

I also got to pick up your Christmas portraits this week and I love how they turned out. The woman who took your portraits actually kind of ticked me off by telling you "don't smile so hard" and asking "can you smile without showing your teeth?" which both took me by surprise and also irked me. I mean, let a kid smile however they dang well want to smile! Geesh. However, when I saw the finished product of your portraits I noticed that you have an air of maturity about you...as Lao Lao said, "She is starting to get that pre-teen look already!" And she's right. Oh my...I noticed how I can really see the young woman you are beginning to blossom into and wow! I also couldn't help but wonder (once again) what your China mommy and daddy look like. I thought to myself..."They sure did make one beautiful little girl, both inside and out." In so many different ways, I am forever grateful to them. 

Santa Claus Jr. made his annual debut this week as well...Daddy read you the traditional book, Elf on the Shelf, and voila ~ there he was the next morning!

creepy little bugger

Mid-week, I continued to plug away at getting some of our Christmas gifts made...even with you curling up in my lap and taking over an hour nap right there while I did so. It was difficult to move around and get things done but I know there will come a day when you are too big for this "cuddly inconvenience" and so I sucked it up and kept on going. It was well worth the discomfort to know you were sleeping peacefully and getting some much-needed rest for your tired little body.

Also, over last weekend, Lao Lao had snuck in and set up a surprise for you ~ your very own Christmas village. I forgot to mention it before but wanted to do so now ~ you spent some time arranging and rearranging it. You are definitely smitten with it...thank you Lao Lao!

Thursday night I was about up to my neck in holiday stress...while I love this time of year, there is just so much I want to do and only so much time to do it in. Therefore, I get stressed. Anyway, Daddy's work had their annual Christmas party that night and he was kind enough to take you with him so you could have a date together and I could get some stuff knocked out at home. Win/win. You had a great time and ate a lot of really good food. While you refused to let me take any pictures of you and Daddy before you left, you did let me take a picture of you eating the one and only Christmas cookie that you decorated last Saturday with your cousins. Yum!

And here are some of the things I worked on while you were on your special Christmas party date with Daddy...

hand-print tree topper ~ oh, how I will miss
when your hands aren't this tiny!

hand-print snowmen ornament

When you got home, for some reason you were reciting the Pledge of Allegiance (and cracking me up). Cracking you up? You might ask. Yes, cracking me up. Ok...So, I have to preface this with another little story and flashback to my own childhood. You see, not all but many families have weird little words for the proper names of things, and sometimes these things happen to be private parts. My family growing up, for whatever reason, called breasts, "buttons" and the female private part, "toodlies". No idea why, it's just what we did. So, flash forward to this Thursday night when you came home and were reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Everything was going along fine until I heard you say this part..."And toodlie a public, for which it stands"...I mean, how could I not crack up? Right? (I love when kids make up their own versions of things...especially when they turn out to be gems like this one!)

my little Santa Mali ~
you turn your nose up at all of the traditional
kids' Christmas movies but got totally
sucked into Fred Claus with Vince
Vaughn...go figure!

Saturday was the day of fun for you and Daddy. He offered to take you everywhere with him so that I could continue to get more holiday stuff done. (Whew ~ will this holiday prep ever end?!?) He took you to Chinese class in the morning, one of your friends' (Jocelyn's) birthday party (bringing his magic marble for entertainment, of course), and then took you to dinner with Jay and his new girlfriend that night. I felt kind of guilty about forgoing some of these activities, however I got a lot of stuff done, felt less stressed later, and as you and Daddy snuggled some more that night, you told him, "Daddy, I like spending time with you, just you and me together." And that right there...erased all of my guilt for bowing out of the day's activities. You definitely need to spend more one on one time with your Daddy and that comment right there is proof of how important and appreciated it is. I love it.

As I tucked you into bed later, you asked if we could sleep in and cuddle the next morning. It is by far one of your favorite things to do on the weekends. It's actually become one of your most favorite things to get excited about come Friday. You love to reach over, snuggle in close, lay with your head pressed on top of my chest and as we slowly wake up, we chat, laugh, joke around, or as we did this Sunday, we practiced your math problems and pretended to be a family of bears hibernating. There's just something about a lazy morning in bed with your kid(s) that is so intimate, connecting and sweet. I have to admit, it's one of my favorite things about the weekend too. Love you, monkey.

Sunday morning you and Daddy headed out once again to continue your fun and met Memaw and Papaw for breakfast while I went to get my hair cut. Then you both went to do a little grocery shopping where I received these texts from Daddy...

Hmmm...decisions...decisions...

That night I made lasagna and we had Allie, Blake and Markie all stop over for dinner and a visit. It was SO good to see all of them and you immediately became both excited and very chatty as soon as they arrived. After dinner, you even offered to make us all dessert. Blake was especially a big fan of your concoction ~ sprinkle bananas!

the chef and her happy customer!

After they left we bundled up and took a walk in the snow and ice to see how many of our neighbors have put up their Christmas lights. Unfortunately, not too many of them are in the spirit (yet) but that didn't stop you from being our fearless leader, marching ahead with your headlamp, warning us of slick icy patches, pointing out "nature" (as you kept repeating) and looking for (dinosaur?!) footprints. You kept telling us that "we are a family!" and "we can do this!" and also yelling "Stack!" (aka stat) when you wanted us to hurry. You were a hilarious little drill sergeant! We just love you so much.

After some peppermint cocoa and reading Dinosaur Christmas, you fell fast asleep. A good end to a great week.

Love,
Mama

Sleepover and Secret Santa

Maliana ~

Rough start to my week...but it wasn't all bad. See for yourself what I shared on Facebook:

~ feeling pretty crappy tonight with this bug going around but hands down, favorite part of the day was when Mali came in to hang out with me, rub my back, and retold the story of when our family was matched and her Daddy and I came to get her in China...then she continued to give me glimpses into her world at school, sharing moments of her life that I'm not able to see for myself. I adore these moments when she shares so openly and am so proud of this munchkin...such a fun age.

I just sat there on the bed and listened to you talk, watched all of your mannerisms that are growing more mature by the day, and tried to soak in everything you are in this moment of your life. I sure hope you always feel that you can talk to me about what happens in your life, the choices you make, how you feel about things. It's so important for all of us to have safe people that we can choose to share our most intimate moments with...I hope I can be the kind of mom that can continue to be in your inner circle with you as you get older. I know that things can happen and our relationship will shift as you grow into your pre-teen, teen, and adult years...however, I just want you to know that I will always have the time to listen, be interested in and care about what you have to say, what you think, and how you feel, etc...no matter what. It's one of my favorite parts about being a parent. Such a privilege. 

Snow was heading our way later in the week so on Wednesday I urged Daddy to please, please, pretty please put up the outdoor Christmas lights. So, he did that outside while I introduced you to the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation movie inside. When he was all done, he had us close our eyes and walk outside in the dark with him, then he turned on some Christmas music on his I-pod and had us open our eyes as he unveiled his handiwork. I think our gasps and excitement was a decent pay off for him...3 weeks until Christmas day and we are so decked out and ready to get our holiday on! Santa Claus is coming to town, you say? Ok...bring it!

You and I prepared some Christmas cookies on Thursday that you girls could decorate when you have your first ever sleepover on Saturday night! Sammy, Alex, Joey, and Erin were all set to come over, 5 girls and 2 grown ups...which, knowing what I know now...it was just as interesting (and then some) as I'd imagined! Anyway, we had fun and with all of the Nerdy Nummies on YouTube that you watch...you sure do know your stuff when it comes to baking!

Friday was your first snow day from school but luckily daycare was open. I let you wear jammies all day (which you thought was awesome) and Santa even came to visit and read you all a story. Have I told you how much I love all of the activities that go on at your new daycare? They are pretty awesome.

evidently, you were the second to last person to
climb on Santa's lap ~ but you did it!

I love to see you sounding words out on your own,
this is "Miss Jessica" (your teacher)

Then we started opening up your Christmas books that I got from the library. You get to pick one before bedtime each night of the season. Such a cheap and fun thing to do! 

Saturday was a crazy busy day for our family. We began the morning at a holiday party for our COFCC group. Our social group (the Fu group) was hosting and so myself and another mama dressed up as elves for our second year in a row to help Santa when he visited. I probably have way more fun than you might expect by doing something so silly, but it just brings me joy to make people smile even at the expense of looking goofy. 

you wouldn't just jump up with Santa without Mama sitting
there with you at first...

Suzanne (Delaney's mom) was the other elf

Lily directing you, Colter, Chloe, and Lainey in
a chorus of Christmas songs

girl talk

When we got home, our house was "invaded" by 4 little girls for some more holiday shenanigans and a sleepover. Your cousins, Alex, Joey, Sammy, and also Erin came over and this was your first big girl slumber party. Needless to say, you had a great time and all of you girls kept me on my toes. In a short amount of time, we did 2 crafts, took you all to a movie at Easton (in our jammies, I might add, simply because it's fun and we could), checked out all of the gorgeous lights and the huge tree, train set, and nativity while there, and finally home for a bath for you and Sammy (since it's oddly a new favorite activity for the two of you), decorated Christmas cookies, and finally more craziness before you all passed out in the family room downstairs. By the time you were all zonked, I was exhausted...and thankful for each and every one of you. A couple memorable conversations and/or comments from the evening included:

(you to Sam) ~ "It's ok, Sam. If you wake up and are scared in the dark tonight, just wake me up."

(after proudly showing your new diary to Sam - she pulled out her Hello Kitty notebook and told you...) ~ "It's not like yours, but look at MY diarrhea."

(as I was cleaning up all of the glitter, sprinkle, and cookie mess in the kitchen, you said to me) ~ "Are you sure that you and Daddy can take care of all of these kids? It's a lot of kids tonight."

I am just so happy that your sleepover went so well and you seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. It may have been a lot of work, but I'd do it all over again to hear all of you chatting, squealing, and laughing. Music to this mama's ears.

painting in the playroom

making glittery jingle-bell snowflake ornaments

on the way to the movie...in our comfy jammies

taking in the trains

nativity scene

in front of the BIG tree

getting ready for the movie to start

decorating cookies after the movie

starting to drift off to sleep

and you're out ~ Abby is keeping watch over you all

Sunday morning Daddy made cinnamon rolls for all of you girls before we headed out to St. Phillip's for their Secret Santa with Memaw and Papaw. For some reason, you were thrilled that Santa Claus shook your hand, getting that really proud grin as you looked up at me excitedly. So cute.

the next morning, playing on the I-pad together

putting makeup on Abby to get ready for church ~ such a good dog

all packed up, ready to go!

wrapping some of your Secret Santa gifts with Louetta helping

Memaw and Papaw took the girls while you and Daddy dropped Erin off on the way home. I went to run some errands for the week. The rest of our Sunday was spent staying warm and relaxing inside, catching up on some long naps and more rest that was neglected the night before.

I am so happy that your first ever slumber party went off without a hitch...feeling so fortunate to be able to share our lives with such wonderful kids.

Love,
Mama