Mama's Memories for M: Family Day #12, Headed Out West x2, and Heart-Melting Moments

Mali ~

Oh. My. How have you been in our lives for 12 YEARS already?! We celebrated our Family Day on July 6th and while it was much simpler than in years past, it was just as meaningful. I obnoxiously greeted you when you woke up and then a little later, got a great big hug which absolutely melted my heart.

Daddy shared the message below on social media for our Family Day and it was worded so perfectly...I'll just copy it verbatim. We are so damn lucky to share this life with you. So. Damn. Lucky.

"12 Years!!! How is this possible? For years, people would tell Theresa and I how lucky Mali was to have us in their life. This couldn't be more opposite. Theresa and I won the lottery with this kiddo. And to be honest, anyone that has come across Mali in their lives has been blessed, as well. Happy Family Day, Mali! Mom and I love you so much. Love you, Monkey Fish!"

I had to work on our big day but afterwards, we had dinner at China Garden with the three of us, Lao Lao and Avery, plus Audrey came to meet us, too. After dinner, the five of us (minus Audrey) went to Magic Mountain and drove bumper cars and played games. Daddy got a super slow "dud" car and we all laughed so hard at him until our sides hurt. Then Avery stayed for a sleepover at our house that night which is always a fun time.

you and Avery said I look like a "mom meme" here because I'm eating pizza with
you in a robe by the bonfire. ha. what?!

Also, you've been self conscious of your smile lately. You have been for quite some time and have confided the details of your feelings to me recently. On the way to Magic Mountain on Family Day, Avery got frustrated because you wouldn't take a selfie pic with her. Since you have already mentioned why you don't like to take pictures, I took the opportunity to say, "Avery, doesn't Mali have an awesome smile?" And she replied..."Yes! And they have the best laugh!" 💜 So grateful you have friends around you that see and feel the same magic we do about you. Hopefully, you can see yourself through those eyes again soon. Teen years are hard!

Later that week on a Friday night, you helped me grocery shop and we picked recipes for us to shop for and make. Fudge, stir fry, pie, and quiche. You're so independent and we make a great team in the kitchen anymore. Then, to my surprise, I even got a thank you and a hug and an "I had a great time with you tonight, mom"...then snuggles and cuddles in bed watching Long Way Up. A rare gem of a night with my teen. 💜

Here was my social media post about our evening:

"So, instead of hanging with friends, my teen decided to stay home, come with me to grocery shop, and then we hung out together cooking some random new recipes we've never tried like ham/corn/spinach/cheddar quiche, strawberry split pie, chicken pesto stir fry, and tiger butter fudge. Then we curled up and watched Ewan McGregor on a motorcycle (Long Way Up) until 3am.

I don't get as many of these kinds of spontaneous evenings with M as I used to because friends are higher on the list of priorities than Mom in the life of a teen. Which is good. I love seeing their independence grow (and having a little more independence myself). It just makes these moments together all the more special to me. Talking, sharing, laughing, creating inside jokes. That's always been the good stuff to me. Meaningful parenting really truly is in those little mundane, almost seemingly insignificant moments of our lives together.

It reminds me of a few quotes I've always held dear since they were little...

"Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." (Catherine Wallace)

And this one..."Enjoy the little things in life because one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." (Kurt Vonnegut)

Woke up feeling really lucky this morning. That's all. And now I get to go eat some of this yummy fudge for breakfast. 😋 Happy Saturday!"

the tiger butter fudge!

4 of our 5 animals snuggled up with us

Our next big news from July was that we all were able to take a trip out west to the Grand Canyon. Woo hoo! We stopped in Sedona, then stayed in Williams, AZ where we took a train all the way to the Grand Canyon and back again in one day. Then, we road-tripped to Phoenix, hitting Seligman and Jerome along the way.

so, we had to catch our flight by 6am and TSA decided to pat me down, not once, but
twice! I guess my crotch set off the alarm?

finally made it to Sedona!

javelinas are everywhere!

fried ice cream as big as your head!

it was so big, I had to help you

this was the coolest art gallery / shop,
Son Silver West

ominous clouds, thunder, and lightning cut our play-time short but we squeezed in a quick dip anyway at Slide Rock. it may have been even more beautiful with the storm looming overhead

stopped briefly to snap this photo as we raced back to the car to avoid getting
struck by lightning from the impending storm

had to cross a mountain to get to Williams and these switchbacks were insane! I said,
"Google Maps, are you drunk?"

the storm had knocked this boulder loose from the mountainside, probably just
minutes before we arrived...close call!

finally made it to Williams and had BBQ on the famous Rte 66 for dinner

a little cowboy show the next morning before we got on the train

some of the desolate, desert landscape on the way to the GC

a shot of the train making its way around a bend

we made it! this was our train car, the Anasazi

this guy was READY for the Grand Canyon

my people taking in the Grand Canyon for the first time

obligatory "awkwardly hug your teenager" pose

my family at the Grand Canyon 💓

getting a closer look

condor at the Grand Canyon = HUGE!

my favorite door at the Bright Angel Lodge

you and Daddy were so obsessed with these puzzles and would stop at every gift shop...

when you finally figured them out, you were so happy!

we hiked down into the canyon for about a 1/4 mile to see this natural tunnel

we all laughed so hard at this picture because you were clearly PISSED at the souvenir photographer...LOL...I guess you felt she was treating you like a little kid and not a cool teen!

eating what you told us was "the best burger I've ever had!" after our day at the GC

After the Grand Canyon, we headed back to Phoenix the next day but not before stopping in Seligman, AZ (the town that the movie Cars was modeled after), and it was pretty cool. Old, tiny, and slightly rundown but seemed to be pretty authentic from what we saw of other southwestern towns.

more on the famous Route 66

Tow Mater!

The next three pictures are how Dad and I do our best to embarrass you. Is it working?

And here is a bonus one below (a flashback from home, not AZ) of another instance where I was being ridiculous and embarrassing. At Easton, someone has scraped off the "i" on the emergency assistance boxes so they ALL only say "Ass Stance" now...so I was just following directions. 😉

After Seligman, we drove on to Jerome, AZ to have lunch and see the sights, including an old ghost town (shown a bit in the next 4 pictures).

this was the old dentist office

these coffins were so small and creepy

the resident cat was so friendly

On our way back to Phoenix and as an homage to Long Way Up, we had to pose with these cactuses a la Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman.

more on our way back to Phoenix, the moody expanse of the sky was overwhelming

Once we got back to Phoenix, we stayed there one more night. We swam in their warm pool until very late, all to ourselves and under the moonlight. It was so much fun to relax and play with you both.

Before catching our flight the next day, Dad and I took turns hiking at Hole in the Rock Park.

I climbed all the way up to that hole

from the top

another tall outcropping of rocks that I climbed to on the other side, below me is the city of Tucson

when I got back to the hotel, you wanted me to take you to try In-N-Out and were so excited to see what all the fuss was about. verdict? burgers are good, fries are meh.

then we headed home

see below for why this picture is special...

Here is my social media post about the above picture of us arriving home at the airport:

"Just got home and realized that it was 12 years and 1 day ago at almost the same exact time of night that we arrived home from China with our lil nugget, M.

This homecoming we're not quite as exhausted (24+ hour flight vs 4 hour flight), feel very relieved to not have to cram M in a car seat for the first time ever like we did back then (they don't mandate car seats in China and M screamed the whole way home in the car)...but we are just as grateful to be coming through the gates of Port Columbus with this (not so tiny anymore) human in tow. Of all the kids in the world...so glad we get to do life with this one. 💓💓💓 We'd do it again a million times over."

After we got back from our trip out west, it was practically time to begin school again.

But first...this moment...

Ok, let me just dry my eyes really quick.

Anyhoo, I took some of your friends (Aimee, Ren, and Orin) shopping and to have ramen at a new restaurant at Easton as a way to have a final hurrah outing before the school year starts.

So, once you were all set with the clothes and supplies, it was time for your first day of school...the last first day of middle school! How in the world are we here already?!

Your first day of school pic is actually from the first day of WEB (Where Everyone Belongs) with the 6th graders (a day before school begins where only 6th graders and WEB leaders attend so the 6th graders can get acclimated to their new school). You applied and were chosen to be a mentor this year and were excited to get there early so you could help set up for the assembly. The next day was actually the first day of true school. In true fashion of your new role as a WEB leader, you also wanted to change your schedule to drop one study hall and substitute in gym class, partly because you wanted more to do and also because 8th graders get to help 6th graders in gym class. How thoughtful, right?

So, there's that, as well as also having Ana over so you could talk to her about middle school and try to help her anxieties as an incoming 6th grader.

You are SUCH a good human. Seriously. We are so proud of you.

this was your shirt for WEB

and this was just an incredible quote the needs to be shared...important reminders about keeping perspective in life

The weekend after your first day of school, Daddy headed to South Bend to spend time with family. Since it was just the two of us, we celebrated your first full week of school with a late night slushie run to Sonic, playing gin rummy under candlelight, watching old videos of you when you were a teeny tiny tot, and having a spontaneous dance party to Single Ladies 🥰

twas another fun night with my teen

and I'm so impressed with how dedicated you have been so far this year by sitting down to do your homework first thing when you come home from school each day

of course, you also do things like this...meet Jimothy!

Below are just several random shots from the the last days of summer...

on one of my walks with Lao Lao through Westerville

Lao Lao (Dad and the dogs) in her garden/backyard

caught a firefly in Lao Lao's garden

helping Lao Lao harvest potatoes

spontaneously deciding to wash our cars

me, getting a ride in Aunt Tina and Uncle Joe's sidecar

Daddy loves these dang shoes and was so excited to perfectly match his shirt

The next several pictures are the usual animal spam from our zoo.

she always loves to finish my coffee

Lucky DGAF

notice how they are all on MY side of the bed

Halloween kitty with his Halloween pumpkin

Grizz snuggling with you and you avoiding my camera

Suzy at Hoover

Grizz using GG as a pillow

and a random cicada that grabbed onto our car and rode all the way home with us from Target

The next several photos are from my trip out west to Joshua Tree, CA. All of the pandemic lockdowns and restrictions on travel has made me crave getting back out on the road. Since you're already back in school, this was a trip I did solo(ish)...Stacy met me there and we did the trip together. We found a wild AirBnB in the desert, a house that has been entirely, from top to bottom, mosaic'ed. The artist that has been working on this has been doing so for over 20 years. It was beautiful, while at the same time extremely eclectic and a little bit unnerving after dark. I was originally supposed to do this trip all on my own, but after seeing the house, I'm SO glad Stacy was with me, especially after the sun went down.

my first sunrise at the Tile House

this mannequin was outside the front door but mannequins were also EVERYWHERE

this was just after our sound bath at The Integratron (Google it, it's wild!)

we were SO relaxed afterwards

my friend, Summer, also met us for the sound bath...you can see the Integratron behind us

then we went here for lunch...a famous hole in the wall venue (Pappy & Harriet's)

an actual Joshua Tree in JT NP at sunset

cholla cactus
(before it was hit by sunrise - see below)

so, Stacy and I got up super early and drove to this cholla cactus garden before the sun came up

and once the sun rose, it did not disappoint

on our way back from sunrise, we stopped at the Glass Outhouse Art Gallery...essentially an obscure but jam-packed outdoor art installation in the middle of the desert...very unique.

there was a little bench in front of a mirror and two jars with pens and paper in them...travelers before us had written messages inside, some of them funny, others heart-breaking

and on our way back to LA (Venice and Santa Monica)...we saw all kinds of other strange things, like this giant barbeque-ing cowboy who another friend suggested looks like
Burt Reynolds

Joshua Tree was a great trip and I highly recommend this, no matter what is happening in your life when you're an adult, to travel to new places and have these adventures on your own (or with good friends). It's good medicine to refill your cup so you can come back with new enthusiasm and appreciation for all that you left behind.

Speaking of which, I was keeping you and Daddy posted as to my progress on my whole trip and especially on the way home as I wasn't sure if I'd make my connecting flight. The following exchange cracked me up.

Thankfully, I made it home just as expected. Whew!

And...getting back to all of that good stuff I left behind? See below 😊

now, this picture has an accompanying video but I won't link it...you have been quite the songbird lately and I love to listen to you singing and stretching your musical wings while on
the phone with your friends

your fortune from our trip to Helen's Kitchen to celebrate Mid Autumn Moon with some dim sum, it reads "your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life"...this fortune now resides in your phone case

You took a trip to First Watch for breakfast with Memaw, Papaw, and Daddy. A ritual.

your perspective at breakfast...Daddy and Papaw

you are so happy to finally be taller than Memaw!

The next three pictures are from my birthday...#46...I played hookey and got a haircut/brow wax. My first haircut in a year and and a half because Dad's been cutting my hair due to the pandemic. Low key birthday (the kind I like the best for myself) and I'm trying to be kinder to myself. In all honesty, birthdays always feel odd for me...but I love them for others. You told me that's how you feel, too. I think you and I both feel uncomfortable being the center of attention. In the evening, after school, I took you to a drama club meeting. Unfortunately, we found out the cast and crew will be so much smaller (only 50 out of 140 kids will be chosen for the show) and so as we left, you said you may not do it so you can make room for the 6th/7th graders who want to try it and see what it's like. Omg...how kind, thoughtful, and generous are you? Wow.