Gratitude Reboot

Maliana ~

I had been feeling a bit off lately, lost in my head and full of worry about all kinds of different things. We started the week having another conversation about some of the problems you have been having at school because of your short hair, mainly surrounding older girls who don't know you that have been confronting you in the bathroom and questioning whether you are a boy and in the correct bathroom. It's been hard for you sometimes. We finally had a really good conversation (fortunately discovering that role playing helps tremendously!) and Daddy and I were able to get you to open up more than you have thus far. I was so relieved to have this dialogue. We talked about gender, stereotyping, the "mean girl phenomenon", expectations of others and staying true to ourselves. We talked about how there are lots of girls and women who have short hair, with you pointing out that some of them are even bald and remembering a mother in our Fu Group that you had noticed last year at the holiday party. You remembered she was bald and I explained that she had shaved her head as a fundraising tool and it led to a conversation of how even our good friends, Stacy and her daughter Sierra had done the same thing to raise money for kids who are sick with cancer. You then requested to see a picture of Stacy with her head shaved. As we talked about this, you told me, "I want to change my chore jar money. I want to give it to hospitals to help sick people." My heart burst right then and there. Not only am I so proud of you for being true to yourself in the face of external criticism from others which makes you uncomfortable at times, but you are also able to look outside of yourself and be touched in such a way to want to give of your own money to help others. Man. You teach me new lessons on how to be a better person. Every. Single. Day.

Along with that awesome reset of my perspective on life, we also had Thanksgiving as the centerpiece of our week, which we got to celebrate twice, first with the Wilkinsons and the second time with Lao Lao and your uncles.

First up was the Wilkinsons' gathering. Last week you had made Antarctica Apples when you were a teacher helper and had enjoyed the recipe so much that you asked to make it again as a dish to bring to Aunt Connie and Uncle Pat's for Thanksgiving. You were so proud to make and share them with everyone and they turned out to be a hit too!

The gathering mainly consisted of the grown ups eating lots of food and talking with you spending lots of time playing with your cousins. Afterwards, we got our annual Wilkinson family pictures, which is always a challenge with so many kids and about a million doggies (ok, only 5, but still), and even snapped some shots for our own little family Christmas card this year too. While taking our family pictures for the card, we discovered a holiday trick in case kids (mainly you) won't smile for the photos. A really loud fart works like a charm. Every. Single. Time.

littlest kid at dinner got the biggest drumstick

doggie photo bomb...your expression cracks me up

Susie (cousin Timmy's dog) liked your antlers

just a couple of the Christmas card photo choices for us

see? big smiles thanks to a BIG fart

The next day we celebrated Thanksgiving (the sequel) with Lao Lao and Uncles Flint and Forge. I had scheduled your Christmas portraits that day so while I had to brave Black Friday traffic to get you to the studio and back, Lao Lao graciously came over and created a wonderful meal for all of us. We came home and helped her ready the loose ends and made our first ever homemade Chinese dumplings, upon your request. They were really fun to make and turned out really good! I think that is actually all that you ate for dinner that day. I can't complain though, they are really healthy and are our new Chinese twist on Thanksgiving. I love it.

prepping the dumpling filling with Lao Lao

putting the dumplings together

you approve! they turned out great!

dinner is served!

You had good fun with your uncles both before and after dinner, then asking to take a walk with the dogs before bed. In cowboy boots. You have been interested in anything cowboy after I told you the other day about how Lao Lao and I went to cowgirl camp a few years back. You really want to go with me sometime when you are older, just mother and daughter like I did with Lao Lao, and also would like for us to wear matching cowboy boots. It's pretty cute. Once home, you challenged me to a game of checkers, as a couple of cowpokes, complete with pork cracklins' and cowboy hats. I love, love, love your fun spirit. And I also love spending this time with family. Nothing like it.

folding your paper Minecraft pieces with Uncle Forge

kind of like origami

ta dah!

coming back from our walk and being silly with Uncle Flint
(you're blurry because you wouldn't stop dancing)

howdy pardner!

On Saturday morning, you finally lost your front tooth. You know, the one that's been hanging on by a thread for the last 3 weeks? Yep, that one. Look at this jack-o-lantern smile!

Saturday was another family dinner, this time at Memaw and Papaw's where you also got to have a sleepover with your cousins. Joey brought over her nail polish and gave Memaw a manicure while you and Sammy did my nails. Let me just say that an age difference of 5 years makes a huge difference in kids' ability to paint nails. Mine were..."interesting"...to put it mildly. But you both were having such fun, how could I say no? You and Sammy played like crazy together like two peas in a pod before Daddy and I headed home after wishing Memaw and Papaw "Good luck!" for the remainder of the sleepover.

Before we left, I overheard you and Sammy playing horsey (basically taking turns riding on each others' backs while on all fours). You had been riding on Sammy when you accidentally pulled her hair while hanging on. As she stood up, she said, "Ouch! Don't pull my hair"...then as she stood up, "I have to put my hair back. *sigh* I wish I had your haircut, Mali." ...And that little exchange made me smile. As small a comment as it was, it was still nice to hear after you've had such grief from some of your peers. It was nice to hear one of your friends give positive feedback and admiration for your hair style. I hope you heard it too, just like I did. You keep on "doing you", Mali. You are awesome just the way you are.

The sleepover went well and we picked you up on Sunday afternoon after a breakfast at Cracker Barrel and an adventure at Blacklick Woods with Memaw and Papaw. You were still having fun with your cousins when we got there, barely ready to leave. We drove home and you were exhausted after quite the exciting sleepover. Once home, you helped Lao Lao plant some bulbs in our front yard so that we will have some nice surprises come springtime (thank you, Lao Lao!). 

planting bulbs for spring

The rest of the evening was spent relaxing at home as a family. We were going to put up our Christmas decorations but due to some ongoing issues with cat pee (yuck!), we were delayed a bit as we tried to clean up yet another spot we found (right where we were hoping to put the Christmas tree!). We'll have to wait another 24 hours before we can start the decorating, but there's always a silver lining to any situation. Being forced to slow down and just "be", to feel comfy and cozy at home, I am reminded once again how important it is to just do nothing together. Sometimes I forget that. Actually, a lot of times I forget that.

I began the week in such need of a gratitude reboot. I remember riding to Thanksgiving dinner and looking out the window, opening myself up to a sign, a reminder, anything that would help my heart be renewed. I was desperate for it. And what do you know? Over the course of the week I got just that...and more. So much more.


Love,
Mama