A good start to our week was right in my rearview mirror on Monday. On the way home from school we chatted about your day just like we usually do. However I was taken aback as we got to one topic and I watched your face completely light up; your grin spreading from ear to ear; and your lips curve up in a mischievous yet completely innocent exuberance. You had just asked me if I knew why you were so excited, revealing to me that it was because you had hip hop class that night. It made me smile just like you were in that backseat at that moment to hear you say that. I am so incredibly happy that we've finally found an activity that makes your eyes sparkle and gets you excited like this. Love, love, love it!
And while you may get excited about shaking it in your hip hop class, I was not entirely excited about my big "thing" this week. Yep. That's right. My birthday. The big ol' 39. It could have had a lot to do with the cold snap in our weather this week though...I can get pretty cranky when I'm cold. On the actual day, I was happy to go in to work later, getting a run in before you woke up, making you breakfast and getting birthday hugs and kisses before leaving for my day. You also couldn't wait to give me my special birthday card ("Mom, it plays music and lights up!"). And you and Daddy even got me some beautifully thoughtful necklace charms that you and I can wear together. I love, love, love them.
By the time I got home that night, all I wanted to do was put on my slippers and jammies, curl up with a pizza, and snuggle with you guys before bed. I guess birthdays are a wee bit different at 39 vs 9. But...I suppose all birthdays are good occasions for celebration of some sort, even if it's pizza, jammies, and slippers with the ones you love. Getting to specially recognize and be grateful for another trip around the sun is never bad.
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| here they are...story below for why they are such a significant symbol |
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| On the day my mom went into the hospital to give birth, we had not yet had our first frost. The rose bush in our front yard was still in bloom. On the day she arrived home with me, we'd had our first frost of the year. All of the roses were dead except for a single beautiful red rose. Now, every year on my birthday, Mom sends a bouquet of wildflowers with a single red rose. It's her special tradition that I look forward to each year. |
And just in case anything happens to the on-line blog link above...here is the part of the entry that describes the connection:
"Well, the same exact day (February 11th) that we got our first approval, the pre-approval, from the Chinese government…the first time we could take one deep sigh of relief…was the same day here in Columbus that a double rainbow graced our skies. It was so beautiful and such a big deal that even some of the news on the radio was mentioning it as they talked about the traffic on my drive home from work. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get home and get the camera out quick enough to capture it, however I was talking to my mom last weekend and saw that she had a picture of it in her phone, so I asked that she send it to me to include in this blog.
I’m so glad to have this photo and be able to pass this story on to Mali. I know that my single red rose story has meant a lot to me, has made me feel special over the years…and I hope we can use rainbows as one way to symbolize our love for Mali over the years as well. I have always loved and felt a strong connection to nature…seeing its beauty everywhere. I hope to pass this appreciation on to Mali and I also hope that whenever she is lucky enough to see a rainbow in the sky…she’ll be reminded of how special she is and how much she is loved."
Along with the good stuff this week, we also had a difficult and equally touching conversation with you as well. During our usual after school conversation one day, you told me there was something in particular that had happened that you were afraid to tell me. You thought I would be mad at you. Alarm bells went off in my head, immediately thinking that it was another bully-type situation. Well, after a little cajoling, you finally shared a story where you and a classmate (the same one that has been a pain in your rear lately) got in trouble because she had tried to take your chair that day and it ended in a tug of war over it, with the chair toppling over in a loud bang which got the teacher's attention. Evidently, the teacher called you over to her and you both got in trouble. When you shared this part, you began crying huge elephant tears with your face scrunched up in emotional pain. It broke my heart. I wanted to stop the car right then and there and give you a big hug. I did reach backwards and stroke your leg, asking what was making your heart hurt so much, discovering that it was because you felt like you had disappointed your teacher and that made you very, very upset. And that broke my heart all over again.
At that point, I shared a similar story from my own life, trying to connect with you. We're more alike than you realize, kiddo. Then, we talked about how everyone makes mistakes, how our mistakes have nothing to do with the kind of people we are deep down inside, how that teacher feels the same about you now as she did before all of this happened, how mistakes are just tools we use to learn how to make better choices next time, and how no matter what you do or what kind of mistakes you make at school or anywhere else in your life, I will love you no matter what and that those mistakes have nothing to do with who you are in your heart. I told you that I was so glad that you told me this, even if it was painful for you. I told you that I hope you can always tell me things, even (and especially) the hard stuff.
Remember what I said about how we're more alike than you realize? Well, your daddy and I both used to feel this way when we were kids, and even as adults we sometimes still do...so we can relate. Believe me, we can relate. While this was a difficult thing for you to go through, I am so glad to see that your interactions with others really do mean a lot to you. You are a sensitive soul and sometimes sensitive souls get hurt, but I wouldn't want it any other way. That being said, you may get hurt more often than the average person, but you also will have the ability to love deeper than the average person too. And love? That's why we're all here.
This episode also led into another conversation about how this same (pain in the rear) kid was saying some mean things to you again too. They were claiming that they have more friends than you, undoubtedly just trying to upset you and make themselves feel better. Not a nice conversation to be a part of, I'm sure. *sigh* However, this little tidbit led to a discussion between you and me on how it's not about how many friends any of us have but actually what kind of friends we have. It's about the quality of our friends. I shared with you that for myself, as I have gotten older, my "friend pool" has dwindled, however the depth of my friendships has grown quite a lot. You were puzzled at first when I told you this, but then I think you got it. I think it's one of those things that you truly come to understand only with age and experience (and quite frankly, not wanting to put up with any more crap!) I sure hope some of my mommy blabbering is sinking in, even if you can't see it clearly yet. Unfortunately you will undoubtedly encounter more than one "friend" who doesn't necessarily have your best interests at heart, (we all do), but hopefully you will learn to discern these "friends" from the true friends who understand and love you no matter what. Add that wish to my many other wishes for your life. Like all of the others, I hope it comes true.
But...anyway...back to the lighter side of our week. On Friday, we attempted a new strategy for our family. Seeing as how we are all guilty of relying too much on technology for entertainment, escape, relaxation, and information overload too much of the time...we tried to make our Friday this week a "Phone Free Friday". (I would have thrown I-Pad in the name too but it wasn't as phonetically fun to say). *smile* Basically, we put our phones away and I went and got some movies and a bunch of supplies for our first ever home-made pizza face contest! Lao Lao came down and enjoyed the evening with us too. You ended up taking the competition pretty seriously and all of us got to show off our creativity. You were so funny and I think they turned out really good! Don't you?
Saturday morning began with you and Daddy heading to breakfast with Memaw and Papaw, then you both swung home and picked me up so that we could go to Orchard and Co. to meet our Fu friends for the monthly play group. It was really cold and windy, with even a wintry mix of hail at one point (crazy Ohio weather ~ it was 80 degrees just a few days ago!), but it was still a lot of fun and great to see our friends, as usual.
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| we had no idea why there was a bumble bee at the pumpkin patch but he was giving away free pumpkins so hey, we just went with it. |
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| you LOVED these pedal cars! |
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| barrel train rides |
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| even tried out the zip line! |
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| with a little help |
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| Daddy loved the big jumping pillow about as much as all of you kids |
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| and you loved sliding back down it (with Lainey attempting to help you back up) |
Finally, Sunday was for sleeping in, swim lessons, and taking care of things around the house. You did end up spending a good chunk of Sunday afternoon and evening with our neighbors (Mike and your buddy, Sophia) which freed up more time for Daddy and me to get a ton done at home without any distractions. It really felt nice to take a day for ourselves, just hanging around the 'hood. We're blessed to lead busy and fun lives shared with many wonderful people, but sometimes it's also a blessing to slow things down and just "be" for a while. We probably need to do that more often. This Sunday was a calm, cool, and breezy autumn day that was perfect for doing just that.
Love,
Mama
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