Broken Toes, Our Family Day Party, and Kindergarten Eve

Maliana ~

Aya! What a beginning to the week. I will just start by saying you have the most indomitable spirit I have ever seen in a child (or grown up) for that matter! Here's how I know...

I think I mentioned last week that you were scheduled for a 'foreign body' ultrasound at Children's Hospital this week. The three of us headed down there on Tuesday morning and while nothing truly out of the ordinary was found with that procedure, we had to "hop" (well, maybe you not so much) over to the ER so we could get this examined and x-rayed...

yikes, right?! what was weird is that
it's actually your 3rd and 4th toes
that turned up broken and NOT
the super swollen one!

Poor kiddo. It all actually began when you mentioned that your foot hurt and we noticed some swelling last Saturday night while driving home from Meigs County. By Sunday night we decided to ice your foot and wrap your toes together to give them some more stability. We debated and debated but since we had the appointment at the hospital already for Tuesday morning, we toughed it out until then. Neither Daddy or I could believe that your toes were actually broken because you had not complained really all that much about the injury. While the nurse was putting your splint on (and you jabbered our ears off), she actually turned to me and asked, "Is she always this happy?" Ha. I had to say, "Yep! And she is always this talkative too!" So glad that even a couple broken toes couldn't even come close to breaking your spirit. As we slowly made our way down to the cafeteria for lunch (you insisted on walking of your own power the entire way there), you said a few different times, "It is such a beautiful day!" What an awesome attitude and zest for life you have. I don't care that you are only 5 years old...you are one of the best life teachers I know!

they let you keep the weird "jelly" disk
that they used to conduct the
ultrasound ~ oh joy

such a good patient that the nurse
brought you a popsicle

First day back to daycare after doctoring up your broken toes and it was a long one for all of us. When I picked you up, I was relieved to see that you were in a cheery mood, talkative, and with a lot of good reports from your teachers. They say you have little anecdotes you like to share with them throughout the day (I'm not surprised), and it's in a good way, not disruptive at all. Your personality is so fun! You also told me all about how you practiced on the official daycare transport bus too! You told me all about the rules (e.g. standing on the sidewalk until a teacher opens the doors, getting inside and buckling your seat belt in any seat you want (very cool to you), and talking quietly only to the person directly next to you, etc). After only one practice I was impressed with how much you retained...I think my baby is ready! Question is, is her mama?? *sniff* *tear*

Well...our Colorado friend (Jo, aka Yo Yo) came to the rescue by Thursday this week, sending you yet another care package...this one entitled a "get your broken toes better!" prize. You had just gotten done telling me about a girl in your class who is beginning to pick on you for some reason...so stepping up on the front porch and seeing a big box with your name on it was just the thing to lift your spirits. With each item you lifted out of the box, you exclaimed "Awesome!" and "It's just what I wanted!" and "How did Jo know I love that!" Then when Daddy arrived home, you ran to him and excitedly said, "This is the best day ever!!" Our sweet, thoughtful, generous, and kind friend Jo nailed it...from the Transformers and LPS activity books, the Fire Team Rescue set with lights and sounds ambulance (you want to be a paramedic when you grow up, after all), to the cotton candy, hot dog gummi treats, and Colorado Springs snow globe (about which you asked if the little skier inside was, in fact, Jo...ha ha) ~ the entire package was the most perfect gift for you to be given on a long and rough day. Isn't it nice how an act of kindness can make such a huge difference in someone's day? Remember that, kiddo. And a big, no HUGE, no GIGANTIC, thank you to Jo ~ you, my dear, are one of the beautiful people in this world. We truly appreciate you. 

Mali LOVES it all! thank you Jo!

And here's a bedtime funny from Thursday too...I guess we need to add Daddy's deodorant to the grocery list. Ha.

Mali: "Mom, I gotta tell you something"
Me: "What?"
Mali: "Daddy used some of your armpit lotion"

This is what our Friday was like...as reflected by Facebook:
~ after spending 30 min making sure Mali was comfortable w/her new teacher (and watching a little bit of her kindergarten assessment), I just left my baby in her first classroom, working on the first of many official school assignments. I am more excited for her than I thought, to be beginning her first ever school year with the big kids! Monday might be tough (probably more for me than her) but I am so proud of this munchkin! Go Mali!! 
and...
~ never fails...falls asleep every time I take her for a run in the jogging stroller! Must be all tired out after chatting up her teacher at the assessment...teacher said, "Definitely not shy at all!" when I picked her up. 

Saturday was our big Family Day Potluck party! It was a little over a month late but worth the wait. We held it at Blendon Woods this year, at the Shadblow picnic area. It was shady, secluded, and such a nice space for us to celebrate family. I didn't get nearly as many pictures as I had wanted, mostly because I was just enjoying talking and also watching everyone talk, interact, and play with each other. Regardless of your broken toes and splint, you still ran, jumped, and played with the other kids the entire afternoon. You weren't about to let a couple of broken toes slow you down!

As for your take on the day...you were thrilled. I am just so glad that you look forward to and enjoy these annual celebrations so much. You had called Lao Lao the day before and she told me she could hear how excited you were during the entire conversation, telling her about what we were going to do at your special party. You know, we never had any of these gatherings until you joined our family. We just didn't. Since you arrived four years ago, I have changed so much. I feel like I have grown by leaps and bounds in my understanding of the true meaning of love and family, and I will probably continue to evolve and change as the years tick by. The surprising part is that it's not necessarily what I had thought it was before I knew you. Sometimes, it's so much harder and other times it's so much easier than I ever imagined. But either way, it's always so completely and 100% worth it. You have helped me (and I'm guessing, all of us) grow in ways that are difficult to explain but priceless in value. I wish I could express myself better, but as I write this right now, I just can't. Perhaps in time I'll have more clarity on it all.

This week I also heard something that made a bit more sense to me, especially recently. It was the idea that we aren't here to simply live our lives, but rather we are here to build the lives that we want. We are here to choose and build lives for ourselves, with the people in them, that are the best possible for us. This particular idea really resonated with me due to a lot of shifts that have been occurring in my personal life lately. It also helped me realize that that is precisely what I am attempting to do for myself. Because of you. Because of us. Because of our family. I wish I could fully express how grateful I am to you for coming into our lives and into our family those four years ago. We are forever the lucky ones. You are the inspiration for our celebration every day and we are all so thankful for you, munchkin!

Daddy, Uncle Joe, and Brian ~ "man"ning the grill

"no more pictures...please!"
(Memaw and I, tag-teaming you on a photo op)

Jack is a sweetheart

playing a little badminton

Jack and Brianna took a drive

the Snow family...Pam, Brian, and Jack
(a great family!)

Joe, Brian, and Zuchao playing a little cornhole

Carter taking Brooklyn for a ride

Brianna, Sammy, and Brooklyn giving Mr. Yang some love

swinging with Sammy

Aunt Tina pushing Brooklyn

Aunt Tina and Audrey Ayi with Mr. Yang

Mama Szwab with Lalie and Roman ~ best
neighbors around!

Zuchao and Ziying (with me and Daddy) ~ so glad they
could make it!

beating up that pinata

candy!

Sam was the one with the magic hit that
broke the sucker open

Brianna and her loot

nice group picture

obligatory silly group picture

our family...I love it!

Sunday was a 'prep for kindergarten' day for Mama. Daddy took you to a cookout with Memaw, Papaw, Uncle Kevin, Aunt Beth and your cousins, as well as some friends, while I stayed home and got the house (and myself) together for the week ahead. Monday is your big day ~ the first day of kindergarten! Recently, I stumbled upon a beautifully written letter by a fellow blogging mama (Momastery) that she reads to her children on each first day of school eve. Part of my preparation on Sunday was practicing reading this particular letter to you (tweaked from Momastery's original version so that it applies to you) out loud. My goal? To do so without crying. No small feat for this mama who has a proclivity for "the waterworks".

Dear Maliana,
Hey, baby.
Tomorrow is a big day. Kindergarten – wow.
Mali – When I was in kindergarten, there was a little boy in my class named Adam.
Adam looked a little different and he wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Adam didn’t smile. He hung his head low and he never looked at anyone at all. Adam never did his homework. I don’t think his parents reminded him like yours do. The other kids teased Adam a lot. Whenever they did, his head hung lower and lower and lower. I never teased him, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.
And I never talked to Adam, not once. I never invited him to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, he sat and played by himself. He must have been very lonely.
I still think about Adam every day. I wonder if Adam remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I’d asked him to play, just once, he’d still remember me.
I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
Baby, if you see a child being left out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you to trust that heart- ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust your heart-ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and it is God’s signal to you to do something. It is God saying, Mali! Wake up! One of my babies is hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion – be thrilled! It means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and needs you.
Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into the middle of a bad situation right away.
Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.
Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won’t step in right away. That’s okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and then tell us. We are on your team – we are on your whole class’s team. Asking for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me, baby. We will make a plan to help together.
When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about Adam. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. I wish I hadn’t. Adam could have used a friend and I could have, too.
Mali – We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the kids think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most LPS toys or coolest gadgets. We just don’t care.
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can never lose it.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.
Trust me, baby, it is. It is more important.
Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.
Just be grateful and kind and brave. That’s all you ever need to be.
Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher, too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky girl . . . with all of these new gifts to unwrap this year.
I love you so much that my heart might explode.
Enjoy and cherish your gifts.
And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.
Love,
Mama

Well, I am happy to report that I was able to read the entire letter to you and only get a bit choked up once. When I was finished, I asked you what you heard in the letter, what you need to do this year. You replied, "I need to be brave and be helpful. If I see someone who is lonely, I need to help them. If someone is hurt, I need to help them up." When I first began reading the letter, you also had interjected, "Mom, I already do that at school!" ...I was so happy that you got something good from the letter, and I couldn't be more proud of you that you were correct in reminding me that yes, you do already do these things at school. While that is awesome, we all could still use reminders from time to time. I hope to read this to you each school year eve, just to keep fresh in all of our minds what is really important in life. To be brave, be kind, and be grateful.

Love,
Mama