Brutal Yet Beautiful Week

Maliana ~

With my staying home all week, Abby has gotten a lot more attention during the day (which she has loved). She also has loved helping me drop you off at school and the outings after school too. In the drive thru line at Mc Donald's I realized how close you've become with Abby when you got teary eyed when I told you that Abby would not be coming on our beach vacation this year. Lately you have changed so much and gotten so much more mature about having a dog, really helping in any way you can to care for her or just show her love. It's been awesome and I love raising a little dog lover. In fact, you told me this week that you want to be a veterinarian when you grow up. I love that you love animals as much as your dad and I do.

bike ride at Hoover

sisters sharing french fries

And speaking of growing up and really coming into your own identity...I think your five year old pictures show your personality right now perfectly. Here is how I posted them to Facebook:
~ So this is what happens when you give your kid free reign to express themselves in their five year old portraits...green converse, jeans, an I Love T Rex shirt coupled with what she calls her "skater shirt". She had more fun with these pictures than she ever has!

Since Friday was my last day off this week, I decided to allow you to ditch school and take a zoo day with me after speech. Audrey Ayi came over and we all headed to see our grand old Columbus Zoo! It was a gorgeous day and the zoo was crowded, but not too crowded. I was pleasantly surprised to watch you maturing yet another way while there as we went from exhibit to exhibit and you wanted me to read each sign to you. You were so much more into learning about each animal and reptile...once again, more evidence that you are truly growing up.

cotton candy Dippin Dots!

you and Audrey's subtle way of telling me you
were ready for lunch

more pictures to cheer up Aunt Lori...
"Panty Brigade ~ zoo version"

even Colo the gorilla joined our
Panty Brigade

 

We got home and you immediately went outside to play with our neighbors. It was finally hot enough for bathing suits and a water fight...dare I say, "Summer is here!?" So glad that we live next door to some really good kids. You've all had your ups and downs (e.g. learning the merits of sharing, etc) but especially lately you have really enjoyed spending time together and developing real friendships. It's neat to see.

cookie picnic

getting more ammunition

poor Bubby doesn't stand a chance against you girls...
"run Bubby! run!"

trying to warm up

having fun with your spy voice changer

once again...the girls are ganging up on Bubby

Later that same day (man, was our day full), we picked up your preschool graduation pics...how cute are you?!?

And while I was trying to get you to stay inside, resting, and finishing dinner (while you listened to your friends playing outside ~ I know, I'm brutally cruel), I must have appeared exasperated with your constant requests to go outside. So, this is what I heard...
"Mom, even when you're frustrated, I still love you. And even when you fart too."
(Well, thank you darlin' ~ same to you!) Ha.

once we finally let you play outside with the kids...
I have to share this picture with you from
that night, just to show what a
goofball your daddy is

Saturday Daddy went on a golf outing so we had another girls' day. Dance class went well and then as soon as we got home, Lao Lao came over and we all took a walk (well, you rode your bike) on the trail. She had brought over Uncle Forge's new puppy Iroh, who is just the cutest little thing. It was a gorgeous sunny and breezy day, perfect for time on our lovely nature trail.

Lao Lao and Iroh

love our trail



finally got one where he's looking at the camera

Sunday morning breakfast with Dad at, where else? Gena's!

sitting at the bar at Gena's

Sunday afternoon we headed to Wai Gong's to remember and celebrate Ggma's life. It was a private memorial service that we put together on our own. Your Aunt Lindsey and I (with the much appreciated help of Lao Lao) put together a DVD slideshow of photos from Ggma's life, we all brought covered dishes, Uncle Mike said a prayer, and we had lots and lots of family pictures displayed everywhere. It was very casual. Nothing fancy. Ggma didn't want anything big. She didn't even want us to do anything with her ashes. That was Ggma. Never wanting to be a burden to anyone...but always lending a hand to anyone else in need. It was tough for all of us at certain moments throughout the day, but we all made it through with the help of one another. I bet Ggma would have been so happy to see us supporting each other and spending time together. If there was anything that made Ggma light up, it was family. She never expected anything in return, but gave her all to those she loved. I'd like to think that knowing we came together in remembrance of her in such a loving way would have both taken her breath away and made her smile.

Losing Ggma and having time off this week to put together the DVD has left me with a lot of time to remember and think. I edited one of my favorite pictures (of myself with Ggma) below, adding one of my favorite inspirational quotes.

"Tell me. What is it you plan to do with your one
wild and precious life?" ~ Mary Oliver

With that quote floating around in my head, I realized it could mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. What stands out the most to me right now though is to never let an opportunity go by when you can tell someone how you feel about them. Say what you mean. Tell those you love that you love them. Don't wait. When you get that nagging little whisper in your ear, or an overwhelming sudden urge to reach out and be kind...follow your instinct. My friend calls those "God whispers". She just may be onto something. Whatever they are...follow where they may lead. I think that at least part of what causes us so much pain in life, when we lose someone we dearly love, are those times when we could have really spoken from the heart and told (or showed) someone how much we loved them...but instead we chose to remain silent. Losing Ggma is painful, but I am so glad that I rarely passed up an opportunity to tell her I loved her, to tell her how much she meant to me. For her 80th birthday, I jotted down my memories of her from childhood, things that had an impact on me and stayed with me through the years. I wrote everything on a piece of paper and ended up reading it to her at the kitchen table at Wai Gong's house a little over 8 years ago now. It's in very brief note form and I had to expand on each item as we talked. I remember looking at her as I read this list and seeing tears glistening in her eyes. This past week, Memaw Lisa told me that she had found that piece of paper with Ggma's "important" paperwork at her house, with my name scrawled on the front and the year (2005) in her beautiful script. It is the only memento that came to my mind that I wanted. A tangible way to remember those moments with her at the kitchen table when I felt I was able to really make her understand the legacy she was leaving behind, how much of a positive impact she had had on me. It made me feel good to do that for her, to show her that she left a lasting imprint on my life. That she always will.

Love,
Mama

P.S.
Of course...while the day was somber, it still had many moments of fun. Just like Ggma would have wanted.

Wai Gong was brave...eating your stinky summer funk
filled feet...ewww!

xoxo
mama