Mama's Memories for M: I see you. I hear you. I love you. You are important.

Maliana ~

As I look back at the notes I made from this past week, I realize somewhat of a theme that has emerged. It involves my overwhelming hope to create moments and messages that you will remember and take with you as you grow up. On several different occasions this week, I've tried to really make it a point to kneel down and look right into your eyes as you talked to me, whether it was sharing a story about your day, telling me about something that you are passionate about (at the moment this usually involves dinosaurs or race cars), or situations that happened with friends that were difficult or really funny for you. Whatever you are wanting to communicate with me, I want you to feel heard. I've even begun randomly to take your face in my hands at moments when I'm moved to do so and tell you, "I see you. I hear you. I love you. You are important." The first time I did this was as we were leaving a restaurant one night. Your reaction? A completely lit up face that you turned up to me with lips pursed (waiting for a kiss). Which made me realize that you definitely "get" what I am trying to do and it had an impact. What (I think) your little face showed me in that moment is precisely what I hope you will remember from your childhood. I hope that feeling (of being loved unconditionally) and those words of acknowledgment (that you matter) will become your inner voice. I know it could be a tall order. After all, this whole parenting thing is bound to be fraught with mistakes and things I wish I could take back. It typically is for every parent that cares. I don't know anyone whose done it perfectly. But I sure hope that this is one thing that I can keep doing right (more times than not anyway). I just want you to know that you matter. All the time. No matter what happens. You matter. Period.

Another thing I want you to remember is the kind of person your Daddy is. There are a million examples that I can use to demonstrate what a kind human being Daddy is, however on this particular week I have a very small but specific example. Over the summer, if you remember, we grew some gigantic sunflowers in our garden. Once summer was over, we ended up bringing their heads into the garage to dry them out so we could pluck their seeds and eat them. We hadn't gotten around to doing so just yet, however we recently noticed that "someone" had done it for us and plucked nearly all of the huge heads clean of seeds. It's probably a mouse (or some other tiny critter) who has found shelter in our nice warm garage for the winter. Well, Daddy went to put on his winter boots that have been sitting in the garage for a few months now and lo and behold, one entire boot was nearly full of sunflower seeds that had been carefully stashed there by our mysterious little roommate. Daddy chuckled and proceeded to empty the seeds so he could use his boots, but the really telling part comes when Daddy was done with his boots. He took them off and carefully placed every single seed back in the boot, just as he had found it, so our little buddy didn't go hungry this winter. And that my dear, is just one way to show what a kind heart your Daddy has. Mahatma Ghandi once said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." I would say that this goes for not only nations but individuals as well. Definitely try not to waste your time with anyone who cannot show these small kindnesses. In my opinion it's a telltale sign of the caliber of person they are and likely shows you how they will end up treating you someday. Daddy is a good egg. It's one of the many reasons I married him. So, find yourself a good egg too kiddo. They're out there. Trust me.

And speaking of good eggs, Audrey Ayi came over one night to visit and have dinner with us. She had brought some frames and canvases over for her upcoming art show and she was teaching you how to build the frames and stretch the canvases for them. As I finished the pot roast, I listened to the two of you. You both were chatting back and forth, with her answering all of your questions and really showing you how and why she was doing this or that. It was truly a joint effort/learning experience. I'm so thankful that you have adults around like Audrey who understand that every single interaction with a child is a learning experience, whether it looks like one or not. You kids are sponges. Of course, the entire night was not all absorption of information...we also had a glow stick dance party after dinner. Now, that was just pure fun. Ha.

Teamwork..."Staple gun ~ yes ma'am! Hammer ~ yes ma'am!"

And speaking of other incidents of "pure fun"...you re-discovered some rather strange action figures lately and have taken to playing with my Corkscrew Bill (Clinton) wine opener and my Hillary Clinton nutcracker. Yes, rather unconventional toys, but fun nonetheless.

We also took advantage of a few unseasonably warm days this week and took Abby for walks after dark. As we got ready to hit the sidewalk, Daddy remarked on how cute you looked in your hoodie and head lamp/Spy Gear light goggles by saying, "You are something else kid" to which you replied "Just like you Dad!" Ha. Seriously. You are something else.

I'm sure the neighbors were wondering...

And speaking of characters, we decided to go out to get the supplies to make your birthday cupcakes after school one day and happened to find the most perfect gift for Daddy while we were out.

yes, your Daddy is a good egg...and at times,
a STINKY one!

Friday you were very motivated and got yourself up early so that you had time to go to McDonald's before school. Daddy was impressed (and relieved to not have to wake the "sleeping bear" that you can sometimes be in the mornings).

Friday night we went to Uncle Blaize's second play. He had a much larger role this time and did a fantastic job! You were a bit tired and squirmy, so we left at intermission after Blaize's sketch was over, but not before Wai Gong had loaded you up with candy for the ride home.

Saturday morning we woke up early to go to your dance class, drove all the way there, and realized it was not scheduled that morning. Poop. However, we made lemons into lemonade and went to a "free family movie" that they host at Easton and then of course played a few games at KDB before going home. You randomly began skipping through the mall, (a sign that you are happy), so I'd say it was a successful morning despite our schedule mix-up.

By Saturday evening you reached a bit of a milestone in "big kid territory". Daddy and I have been encouraging chores for a while. We've waited and waited for you to become interested in earning your own money and thus, learning the concept of saving and spending wisely. Slowly but surely, you have been taking the bait a bit more, earning a quarter at a time for various chores or responsibilities. Finally, this week, your chore jar accumulated a total of $5, enough to go to your newest favorite store, Five Below, and buy anything there. So...Daddy took you over and purse in hand, you marched in and made your purchase (a Cars toy you've had your eye on). You were so proud of your accomplishment. And so it begins...

By Sunday, the warmer weather was gone and more snow had arrived throughout the weekend. This time we took advantage of the colder weather and Lao Lao, you and I went for a winter hike at Chestnut Ridge Metro Park. One funny little tidbit as I looked up where the hike was going to be was stumbling on a picture of you (from last year's Metro Park Winter Hikes series) on their web-page this year! Pretty cool stuff.