Adoption and Social Media...Gotta Love 'Em!

Maliana ~

Big stuff to begin our week. Monday was the day we went to pick up your kindergarten registration packet. We talked about you starting school in the fall and of course, right before we needed to race out of the house again was when you decided to ask some of the questions I’ve been thinking about for months. You asked for a baby picture of yourself, then where babies come from, if you were different, and about your China/belly mommy. I paused, took a deep breath, and tried to remember all of the responses I’d rehearsed ever since we knew you were coming home.

 

I explained that all babies come from mommies’ bellies, and then went into what possibly happened when you were born. I tried to let you lead, answering just what you were asking, and likening it to your book, “Sweet Moon Baby” that tells a tale about a Chinese adoption. I said that we’re not completely sure, but that it is likely your parents did not have enough money to feed you or take care of you like they needed to, so they gave you to the orphanage where they knew you’d have enough to eat and be cared for while you waited for Daddy and I to come get you. It was a bit of a tenuous conversation. I could see your wheels turning. I know I will probably always second guess what I say to you in these situations. I just wish I could climb behind your eyes for just a moment to see what was going on in that brilliant little mind of yours. But, I cannot. So, we will just take each of these conversations one at a time and hope against hope that I (along with Daddy) am telling you what you need to know and giving you the tools to make sense of your own story as only you will be able. Time will tell.   

 

It was finally time to leave the house and we headed to what we hope will be your elementary school. We were able to meet the two kindergarten teachers, Ms. Fitzpatrick and Ms. Gormley. They are both extremely nice but the one who stuck out to me was Ms. Fitzpatrick. She took a couple looks at you, in your own uniquely handpicked outfit, and commented that she can tell you are an independent kid. She said she could tell you are a kid with your own voice, to which I replied with a smile, “Yep, and we want to keep it that way too.” She then said she understood because her kid was just like you are now, always wanting to wear sweats and tennis shoes, getting asked “Why do you dress like a boy?” and replying “Because I like it!” Her daughter did what she enjoyed, no matter what, and she is still like that at age 20. I loved that this particular teacher just seemed to “get you”. I really hope that you not only are able to go to Wilder Elementary, but that you can get in Ms. Fitzpatrick’s class too. That would be wonderful.

 
 

On the way home we had a great talk about feeling nervous, taking the school bus, and being in a new class. You were very excited to thoroughly check out the kindergarten classroom so you are definitely curious about the whole endeavor. Just a little nervous too. I told you that it’s ok to be nervous. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. You seemed to think about this for a bit. Once we met Daddy for dinner on the way home, you were acting like your silly self again.

On Tuesday Ms. Beth showed us the poster she had made
displaying you and I's Chinese New Year lesson for your class.
How cool is your teacher/school?!

Family dinners are going great this week. I love chatting with both you and Daddy over candlelight, which you’ve continued to insist on lnog after Valentine's Day. I sat there looking at you, all propped up on two couch cushions (that you drag over to your kitchen chair each night), eyes twinkling, smiling, and trying to think of what you want to talk about next. I love these moments with all of us together. Something so simple but that makes you so happy.
 

Thursday I had book club and so Daddy took you to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner and evidently the server at CPK remembered you from a past visit (“Hey Mali! How are you?!”) and decided to treat you both to what she dubbed the "cadillac of booths" and then hung out with you for a while. I tell ya kid, you have an impact on people. These dates with Daddy are great too because it really helps you both bond. As you played games at KDB after dinner, you said, “I’m having fun with you Dad. Are you having fun with me?” and then as Daddy was being silly while you both were at Lowes, you said, “You crack me up Dad!” I love coming home from some “mommy time” and hearing stories like that.

 

Friday evening we had a double date night to with Uncle Joe and Aunt Tina...we had some much needed laughs as we ate dinner at a new Brazilian joint while you happily played at home with your Lao Lao.

crazy for coloring

Then came the weekend, with a little Saturday morning honesty and some silliness on the side...


Conversation after we both just rolled out of bed;
Mali: "Mom, your breath stinks!"
Mom: "I'm sorry."
Mali: "It's ok! You smell like me!"

like father, like daughter

And I must give a big shout out to social media on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to your blog and Facebook, we were finally able to hook up with a family from northern Ohio that we have been in “cyber contact” with for a while. We got to meet the Houghtaling family (John, Sara, and Ava Kate) who adopted from China through EAC just like us! We also met the Metz family (who are mutual friends with the Houghtalings) for lunch and a play date at Polaris mall. You were a bit tired at lunch, acting much more bashful than usual, however by the time we got to the actual mall and you kids could all run around together, you were acting like your normal self. It was so fun to get to know this family and for all three of our families to spend some time together. All of you kids are so sweet and have such funny little personalities. For as many mixed feelings as I have about Facebook sometimes, this is definitely a situation I’ll put in the win column. So thankful to have yet another very cool family in our lives...these connections we have made through adoption are priceless. So thankful!

is it me or do two of these mannequins look different?

finally we meet the Houghtaling family!

all three of you are spectacular in so many different ways!
and here is the Facebook caption from Sara that sums it up perfectly:
"These three little girls have no idea what they made happen today! Because of these sweet little faces, friendships were forever bonded. The adoption world is a special one! Some of the most special people in my life are that I have made on this journey!! #blessed"

almost twinsies

riding a tiger

with the moms

with Niubei

with Ava Kate

with the dads

we let you both loose in the candy store with our
credit cards...what could possibly go wrong?

 

Daddy took you to breakfast on Sunday with Memaw and Papaw, then on the way home you jammed to Bruno Mars’ new song, “Locked out of Heaven”, however YOUR particular version sounds like this, “Locked out of Helen”. Ha.

 

We didn’t do a lot of anything else on Sunday. We were all pretty exhausted and just hunkered down on that grey day, making more furniture for your little shoebox houses, had another super family dinner (this time you wanted us to take turns and tell silly stories we had made up which turned out really fun!), and had a rousing game of Operation before bed. In fact, you reminded us of our newly decided tradition, to play one family game each night. After dinner you exclaimed, “You are my best family!” Once again, something so simple yet makes you so happy. Why did we not do this sooner?

hanging out under your bunk bed fort, with the model
bunk bed we made out of sticks for your LPS critters...so proud!
you love figuring out how to make these little models with
me, even grabbing your camera and taking a photo of
your own bed to show me how it's done!

Love,

Mama