Pumpkins, Nature Walks, and a Family Reunion = Lots of Fun

Maliana ~

So, Lao Lao said twice this week, out of the blue, I just love being Mali’s grandma. And she’s not the only one who feels lucky to know you :) I thought you should know that and wanted to start this post with that...

As for the week, your sensitivity and friendliness has been emerging more lately. Abby got sick and threw up on the carpet earlier in the week, and initially you began scolding her. When I told you that she was actually sick and it was an accident, you went back to her bedroom and, when you didn’t realize I was watching, you stood there in front of her, looking at her for a few minutes, then asking, “Sick? (pause)...Sick? (pause)...(lean in to her) Ok?...” then you gave her a big hug and stood back again and asked, “Happy?” It was too cute. You also love when our mail comes each day and you can check out the mailman and his mail truck. On one day in particular, you made a point to stand in the front yard and wait for the mailman, waving at him as he drove by. He slowed down, grinned really big, and waved back. (I think you made his day.) Then in another example, you were getting in the car another afternoon and saw one of our neighbors, a teenage boy who usually is not smiling and generally tends to stay to himself, walking down the street. You made me wait to buckle you in your car seat so you could lean out the window and say hi to him. He actually cracked somewhat of a smile at that…I definitely think you made a difference in his day too. How do you intuitively know to reach out to people so easily? Regardless of how you seem to know this, it’s really neat to watch.

I was also excited to catch you on film this week, singing and dancing to the Imagination Movers’ theme song on your CD. You have figured out how to work the CD player very well and so one afternoon, you spent a lot of time replaying this song, singing, and dancing along to it. I got one of those times on film and it was so adorable. You can tell you felt pretty proud of yourself.

Bedtimes this week were also super enjoyable. You have been in pretty awesome moods and not only are we reading books now, but also singing and dancing (just general silliness) with the radio for a bit before you go to bed. You also have come up with a new way to say “I love you”…evidently, you are so used to saying it before hanging up on the phone, that now when you say “I love you”, you add an extra “I love you, bye” on there. The first few times you said it, I cracked up, which made you laugh too. So one bedtime, we just laid there, saying it to each other over and over again, laughing hysterically. One of those slap happy moments, I’m sure.

On Friday, I was a bit heartbroken when I picked you up at school. You were doing ok when I got there, but Miss Brandi said that you had had a little accident again. Unfortunately, since we had forgotten to bring extra underwear after the last accident, you had to wear a diaper until I picked you up. Miss Brandi said that the accident was because you had waited a few seconds too long to go to the potty since you were having fun, but you were so upset by it that it actually took her about 15 minutes to calm you down. (You really did not want to wear that diaper again.) Poor thing. I felt awful that I had forgotten to bring extra underwear for you. I am so sorry sweetie. You are doing so well, I hope you are able to shake this one off. I told you on the way home that you are still a big girl and still doing so well, and as soon as we got home we put on some new underwear. You seemed like you felt better after that.

After getting the undie situation straightened out, it was such a beautiful fall day that we headed off to Freeman Farms to pick some pumpkins and check things out. You had a blast there! They had a pony, calf, rabbits, goats, and sheep for you to pet. You especially liked the pony and kept going back to rub his nose, as well as asking for more and more quarters to get corn to feed everyone.

You liked climbing on some of the pumpkins, on your quest to find the perfect one, as well as riding in the wagon we used to cart them back to the car.

We then headed into their little farmer’s market and picked out some food for dinner. It was a really great afternoon, until we got to the car that is. I could already tell that you were tired, so when I put you in the car and asked you to climb into your car seat, you threw a fit. This is actually a struggle in general right now, as you fight me every time on getting in and out of the car. (You just love to goof around and play in the car). Anyway, it got so bad that you were slobbering, screaming, crying, and trying to hit and kick me. You were beside yourself, and the longer it went on, the more frustrated I became as well. Finally, I just gave up and pulled you back out of your car seat, cradling you in my arms until you calmed down. You were so angry and sad. Once you were a bit settled, I asked if you were tired, and you actually admitted that you were (no surprise there!) So, I explained (once again) why we need to make sure to buckle you in the car seat and then I apologized for getting so upset with you, making you look in my eyes when I apologized. You seemed to really take it in and perked up after I apologized, however I felt awful, once again. It was such a good and a bad day, all mixed into one. I know that this won’t be the last time I feel like I’ve made a parenting mistake with you, however hopefully the fact that I can pause, collect myself, and model good behavior too (apologizing, taking responsibility, modeling empathy, etc) then maybe I won’t completely mess you up. And each time something like this happens, I can take a lesson from it. Like today, never underestimate stating my expectations to you, ahead of time. In spite of how trivial or obvious they may seem (e.g. expecting you to get in the car and allow me to buckle you in your car seat). However, my fears and worries, I think, will always be here in some capacity, feeling somehow inadequate, puzzled, and surprised by your behaviors. Some days, like this day, I just wish there was a rulebook I could consult to know exactly what to do in every situation. But there’s not, so I just hope that my best is good enough. Sorry in advance kiddo, Mama’s not perfect. But I promise I'll keep trying. Fortunately, and not surprisingly, you fell asleep quickly on the way home.

Saturday brought a better day for us all. We had a family reunion on Daddy’s side so we drove down to Meigs County. You got to play with a bunch of kids, including your cousins Joey and Alex. It was a gorgeous fall day. There was a big hill next to their house, so all of you kids took turns sliding down the hill on some big flattened cardboard boxes, (good ol’ fashioned Meigs Co fun right there!)

Anyway, I loved watching you jump right in with all of the kids, like you’d known them forever in spite of just meeting most of them. You are definitely not afraid to get dirty and you got as rowdy as even the biggest kids did – I love that about you! Joey especially took an interest in you and you both had a ball together. It was so sweet to watch.

Today, Daddy went golfing and so you and I woke up and went to breakfast with Lao Lao. Then we all headed to the nearest metro park and played on the playground and took a nearly 4 mile nature hike (you in the stroller most of the way). Lao Lao is so knowledgeable about nature and so it took us a while to get through the hike as we kept stopping so she could teach you about all of the plants (milkweed, thistle, crab apples, wild pears, and all sorts of berries), along the way.

You LOVED learning about it all (visibly processing all of the information Lao Lao was giving you) and whenever we’d move on, you'd sign and say, “More? More?” I love that you love to learn. That will be a very valuable gift throughout your life.

Love,
Mama