Sometimes Going Away Makes You Realize How Great It Is To Come Back

Maliana ~


Well, my dear...November brought with it a couple weekends away for your dear old mom. It's actually the first time(s) that I've really left you with Daddy and went that far away for that long. You and I were both a little nervous, however it turned out to work really well for all of us.

The first was kind of a trial run where I went just a couple hours away to help a friend celebrate her birthday. Before I left, you and Daddy entertained me with some new tricks on your scooter and skateboard. You two are so silly...check out the video below.


Scooter and Skateboard Tricks!


While I was gone, you ended up spending the night with E at Joe and Tina's. You had a blast and did so well on my first night away from you both that I felt so much better. I got some cute texts from you while I was away and even a 'welcome home' picture when I returned. You are such a sweet and unique kid. I love you so very much.


It was such an unseasonably warm afternoon when I got home that you rode your bike along with me while I went running. You made it the whole way with minimal whining and we really enjoyed our time together! As usual, you had me cracking up with your antics as I ran.

and if you ever wondered how crazy us moms get when we
go out for the night...this is it. yes, she is tying the
guitarist's shoe #onceamomalwaysamom haha!

my sweet welcome home note

and a portrait of me!

After such a successful first trip away, I was feeling a tiny bit more prepared to head the farthest I've ever been from either you or Daddy on my own...San Francisco. You see...since I turned 40 back in September, I felt like I needed to kind of "reset" my life, do a little soul-searching, and re-evaluate who I want to be after 40. I used to do these kinds of exercises all the time when I was younger, but I haven't in so long. With all of that being said, I set off on my adventure and it became one of the best things I have chosen to do for myself in a long time. This time and space was very important for all of us. My trip not only gave you and Daddy some amazing bonding time, but reminded me how important it is for each of us to stretch our comfort zones from time to time and also how important it is to truly appreciate your own company because if you can do that, then you don't ever have to feel lonely, even when you're alone. I missed you all while I was away, but I never once felt lonely.


Here are some of the photos from my trip...

taking a double decker tour bus over the Golden Gate Bridge
(on the top of course, brrr!) and heading into Sausalito for a bit

riding a cable car

San Francisco architecture is one of a kind

one of, if not THE largest Chinatown(s) in the U.S.

just some of the interesting and friendly people I met
having lunch in the Mission District

at the top of Twin Peaks, overlooking downtown
San Francisco and the entire bay ~ gorgeous!

Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park

peace out! at the legendary corner of
Haight Ashbury

And while I was off and running, you were doing the same with Daddy...although I didn't get as many pictures as usual (Daddy isn't as much of a shutterbug as I am), take my word for it when I say that you had a blast!


along with miniature golfing, lots of one on one play time, dinner dates,
portraits of each other, and so much more; a visit to see your cousins was
also in order (I'm glad you get along so well with them!)

your portrait of Daddy - so cute!

and Daddy's of you - so sweet!

the notes you left for me, stuck to the countdown
calendar that I left for you to mark off each day
until I was back home with you again...

The day after I got home was a Monday and I took the day off work to decompress. I woke you up where you exclaimed, "Hi, Mom!" and gave me a huge hug when you opened your eyes. It was so great to see you in the flesh again and get to kiss those soft squishy cheeks of yours. Having an amazing family like you and Daddy makes coming home even more special.

oh, how I missed kissing those cheeks!!

I took advantage of my day off to also meet with your teacher, the school psychologist and your principal about some difficulties you've been having in school lately (stomach aches, problems concentrating, etc). Nothing huge, but definitely big enough to alert my mama bear instincts to stay ahead of things so your school environment stays safe and comfortable for you. On my way out, I realized that you were just starting lunch in the cafeteria, so I headed down there to say hi. I ended up staying and chatting with you (and some of your friends) during the whole lunch period. I'm glad I did too because there is some clique drama happening in your class and sometimes lunch and recess can be hard for you. Sure enough, something had happened just before I got there but I was so proud of what I saw when I arrived at your table. Evidently, you had removed yourself from another table (the one with all of the negativity) and instead had chosen to sit by yourself. Your table eventually filled up with other classmates and friends that were buying their lunch, but there were several minutes where it was just you before I arrived. It jerked my heartstrings at first when I found out what was happening, but then I became so unbelievably proud of how strong and brave you were to do the right thing, even if it meant you would stand alone for a while. Man. I don't think I had half of your courage and wisdom in the 2nd grade. It may be rough sometimes, but I am positive that exactly these kinds of situations are building character in you that some of your classmates could never dream of building in their whole life. Gah! You are a wonderful person, Mali. You truly amaze me. Every day. Never let those who wish to stir up drama keep you down...you are bigger, brighter, and more beloved than all of that. I am so very glad that I got to spend that time with you today.


The very next night and my first day back to work, we ended up going to a school skate party for the PTA. Not what I had planned but, when you became surprisingly devastated to learn that I had hoped we'd just stay home that night, I simply couldn't say no to you and those big elephant tears. It actually turned out to be exactly what we both needed that night. Who knew?


you not only were welcomed by smiling friends but also became
so excited to see your principal there as well...with all of the
ups and downs lately, this was an unexpectedly great evening
(L to R ~ Lily, Lucy, and you)

And here is just another random funny...you crack me up!

While we hadn't even celebrated Thanksgiving yet, Easton was already holding their annual tree lighting and parade just a few days later. It was slightly warmer weather and you were in an incredibly amazing mood, so talkative, bouncing around, and weaving through the crowds. Lao Lao and I had about as much fun watching you as we did watching the festivities. As usual, Easton is always so incredibly gorgeous this time of year.

ta dah! the tree is all lit ~ bring on Christmas!!

Lao Lao was so excited to see these dancing balls!

obligatory photo booth picture from Easton ~ of course!

Going right along with the Christmas theme, we also had some family pictures done at Target this year...in our new matching Christmas jammies!! All of the stares and double-takes as we strolled through the store in matching PJ's were worth it to see your smile and hear your laughter. I love our little family and the crazy, fun stuff we do together. As you dubbed us the other day..."we're the funny family!"

quick selfie while we sat waiting for our turn with the photographer

And here are some from a sneak peek of the actual photos from the shoot...pretty cute, if I do say so myself!

hahaha!

look at your adorable smile!

such innocence in your beautiful big brown eyes
(and that dimple!)

But, I am getting ahead of myself here so let's back up to the actual next holiday...Thanksgiving. You brought home some great, classic artwork from school. It was sweet, unique, and entertaining, all wrapped up in one. I always love your projects!

my favorite part?
"I am cool with my pets"

#hint #inthecrotch

As for the actual holiday, we relaxed until it was time to go to Joe and Tina's that night. The day before you had had a day of fun with Lao Lao and did all kinds of things, including making a gingerbread house. You brought it home and were so stoked to eat it, so on Thanksgiving morning, we lay in bed watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and chowed down on your gingerbread house. (Don't worry, I fed you something healthy beforehand!)

Then we went running (you rode your bike) on the trail to burn off some energy and get good and hungry for all of that turkey! It was a lot of fun to spend time with the Yersavich family, as usual. Uncle Joe has so many siblings so it is always a full house and you had a ball spending time with all of the big kids on the third floor of their new house. We barely saw you all evening but knew you were having fun.

picture of our questionably shaped cupcakes...
I'll leave that to your imagination but I
think the turkey in the middle has seen too much.

The Wilkinson family pushed their celebration back and ended up having it about 4 days later (that Sunday). Unfortunately, Daddy had to work for most of the gathering but was able to come later and heat up a plate. We didn't get the usual family pictures that we typically do that day...but I did manage to capture one of you with your beloved cousins before you all took off to play like crazy people.

A lot has happened to each and every one of us this year, some things good and some things not as good. But, in spite of it all, because of it all, and above all...if we sit and really think about it, we always have a lot to be thankful for in our lives.


I love you and Daddy so much, Mali.

Love,
Mama

More Fall Traditions and Celebrations

Maliana ~

Since Daddy and my birthdays seem to usher in the autumn season, there was a lot of fall fun to be had, beginning with our annual mums. Although I love plants, I always seem to kill them. But that didn't stop you and me from planting some again this year. Here are some of our mums, or as you kept calling them, "our plums"...no matter how many times I tried to correct you, we were "planting plums".

I also recently found a fantastic web-site with lots and lots of clothing from China. The styles seem to be right up your alley and you were so excited when your new orange jacket arrived in the mail, exclaiming, "I'm gonna wear this tonight!"

Papa Joe came to stay with us for a weekend while he visited friends and his son, Chris. While he and Daddy went golfing one morning, you and I decided to dig out the Nerf guns/gear and terrorize the neighborhood. It was a ton of fun! You keep me young, kiddo.

And it wouldn't truly be autumn without a trip to Dill's Fall Fun Fest. We met your cousins there and then continued the play-date with them at their house. I'm so glad you love time with your cousins.

'punkin' chunkin'

you've seen me flick melons at the grocery store...so now
you are picking your pumpkins by flicking them and
then listening to the sound

and even sharing this technique with Sammy by telling
her to "just flick it!"

found your pumpkins!

You also decided to begin writing a "My Life" journal that begins with the story we've told you about how Daddy and I met (cheesy pick up line and all) and so far you have taken it through our dating and then when we became a family with our trip to China. It is the sweetest book so far. I love that you felt compelled to write this.

And here's another of those outfits from China...stylin' and profilin' before school.

While you began a "My Life" journal, you also experienced your first ancestry assignment at school too. It wasn't a family tree but it was a chart depicting where your mother and father's ancestors came from, which naturally led into a conversation about how adoption has shifted your ancestry chart, where you have Daddy and my ancestors but also your birth family's ancestors whose origins we don't know 100%. It was the first time you have opened up to me about truly grasping how "complicated" (your descriptive word) your family is and shared that it's hard because you have never met your China parents and how you don't know them and they don't know you. It was one of those moments where I wasn't quite sure what to say, so I just knelt down in front of you and listened. I hope you always know that. There will be moments like this in your life, about this or about other hard things, and I may not always know what to do or say, but I will always, ALWAYS be here to listen and sit with you through them. I promise.

*sigh*...Life is so preciously complicated.

In light of life's messiness, we were fortunate enough to be able to simplify for a bit and escape to some cabins at Pike Lake with Joe, Tina, Sam and Erin for a weekend. The autumn colors were just about peaking (in spite of the rain) so it was beautiful. Pike Lake is so far out in the boonies, that none of us had cellular connections and therefore, no screen time which was a blessing actually. You came up with the idea of charades one night and it turned out to be a huge, silly hit! We also did a little hiking the next day and got pretty muddy but enjoyed being in the fresh air and nature.

a beautiful, peaceful morning with just
you and Daddy by the water

Once home from our camping weekend, we carved one of the pumpkins we picked up at Dill's. You drew a kitty cat face and Daddy did the carving. It turned out great!

While we were gone (and with Halloween so close), we also got Boo'ed TWICE! It was our first time ever and is basically where someone leaves a bag or basket of treats on your porch, a card with a poem of instructions and a sign you hang that says "I've been ghosted" so everyone knows they can't get you again. Then you do the same to two more of your neighbors. As you looked through the treats, you exclaimed, "I love these people!"

We also got your school pictures back (finally!) and they are so adorable. I love how they turned out (even if you aren't showing your sweet little teeth)...your smile is beautiful both ways!

All in all, trick or treating went well. You have never been too big of a fan of going out to trick or treat (that old soul of yours is not very candy motivated) and would much rather pass out candy by the fire at home with our neighbors. So, after a few streets and running into some of your neighborhood classmates, we headed home. Along with passing out candy, I think you were also more excited that you, Lao Lao and I had all dressed alike in our homemade turtle costumes. As for these costumes, I had felt so spread thin lately and these were my first (and completely scatter-brained) attempt at making Halloween attire. They were, well...interesting. But, your reaction was priceless. You didn't care that they weren't perfect and instead were so proud that we had created our own homemade plaster of Paris shells. You had even helped make and paint each of them and although they may have been a little janky (my opinion only) and needed to have their straps fixed a million times while we trick or treated, the smile on your face totally made up for it. They may not have been the perfect costumes, but they created some perfect memories for us. You always seem to naturally remind me that it's the memories that we make that are the most important part of anything we do together.

with Roman in his silly costume, riding an ostrich!

once we got home, you couldn't wait to wash your face and put on the
new Christmas sweater I found for you the other day. as soon as I
saw the pug on it, I knew you'd love it! #pugobsession

The very next day was your fall party at school so I helped you get ready that morning, dropped you off, and then arrived back that afternoon to help with the party. Everything went great, even if myself and one other mom were the only ones who could help that afternoon. Your class was full of energy and really enjoyed the games we brought. Your name got picked as one of those to be wrapped up as a toilet paper mummy and everyone got a kick out of the mystery boxes that our family put together where each of you had to reach in and feel the vampire teeth (plastic fork tines), worms (cold spaghetti), and eyeballs (peeled grapes). All of your reactions were hilarious!

getting all wrapped up as a toilet paper mummy

cutest little mummy

another of the three teams

and the final of the three teams...so funny

That night you and Daddy (aka crazy nutballs that you are) decided to camp out again in the tent on the back deck. I guess Daddy had mentioned it a few days earlier and you held his butt to it. I (wisely) stayed inside in a nice, warm and cozy bed while you all froze your behinds off...but had a fun time doing it just the same! Daddy is pretty awesome. I do have to add...did I mention that I slept very soundly that night? I'm guessing it's because I didn't have to compete with all of the usual suspects like I normally do...

crazy, right?! but I do love all of you...

Daddy finished reading you the Halloween Tree book (which was perfect because it was the night before Halloween) and within 2 pages you were out like a light. You slept soundly and are truly a natural camper. When Daddy mentioned that it was getting a little chilly you said to him, "But Dad, we're out with nature and the wind and everything..." ~ who can argue with that, right?

And Daddy was on a huge winning streak as he not only camped out with you but also took you swimming the next day where you totally rocked it after not having been swimming for a few months. You remembered all the strokes and kept yourself afloat like a champ, swimming around and playing games and generally being silly with Daddy for a solid hour straight. He said at one point you began screaming at the top of your lungs..."Ha-yay-lulah!!" which is actually your battle cry of sorts for when you are in a great mood or truly in the moment and enjoying yourself. I love your mixed up version of "Hallelulejah!"...so cute. Whenever I hear that silly sing-song chant, I know something good is going down.

With all of that fun, the party continued into November with Lao Lao's birthday on the 3rd. We surprised her with a cake on her actual birthday that you had helped bake and decorate. You were excited to bring it up to her apartment and set it on the porch, then ring the doorbell so she would think the cake walked up there by itself. Goofy kid.

happy birthday, Lao Lao!

Finally, you have recently been upping the ante with your texting. As you can see, your emoji game has become much stronger. The following text is something I received during a late meeting I had to attend where I missed bedtime (a rare occurrence at our house). Yep, sweet smiles and also major mommy guilt after reading this one.

I love your tender heart so much

Love,
Mama