Taking Solace in the Moon

Maliana ~

Well, since this is the freshest thing on my mind today, I will start by saying I have had to work hard to rein in Mama Bear and her protective instincts lately. We still have our house guests and are all going day by day. It’s a tough situation for everyone involved, but we are making the best of it. On the up side, since we have had our house guests, it has encouraged us to increase our adventures outside the house and we’ve been using that time to explore nature more. I cannot tell you how many walks, hikes, runs, etc we’ve gone on this week.

One night all three of us headed out after a rainstorm and Daddy shook branches on you as you rode in the backpack, to which you squealed uncontrollably. You and I took both dogs out for a walk too, with you ever so gracious as to want to hold Abby’s leash and even carry the poop bag! You’ve begun to be interested in collecting “treasures” that we find along the walk lately too, a time honored tradition that I am happy to carry on from my own childhood, filling my mom’s special “goodie pocket” before arriving back home. When you take my hand to walk alongside me, or reach up to give me some special leaf, flower, or rock you find on our walk, my heart just melts. You and I also headed over to Blacklick park another night, with a cooler loaded with salami, yogurt, drinks, cherries, strawberries, and popsicles stuffed into the stroller and did the entire 4 mile trail together. Walking, instead of running, with you definitely has its advantages since we can talk so much more easily the entire time. Of course, we had to hit the playground there too, which was a great one.

sweet gum ball in one hand, dog poop in the other

Hollywood kisses from the Blacklick trail



shaking the rain off the branches after a storm

Since having so much fun at the park in Gahanna last week, we decided to head over there after finishing an appointment one night, taking Daddy this time. It was fun, with you getting in the creek once again. Daddy and I commented how awesome it is that you love to get dirty, explore the world around you, and aren’t afraid of much (you kept turning over rocks in the creek, trying to find crawdads).

woo! is that water cold!?

crawdad hunting

wildflowers from Daddy

By far though, my favorite new thing has been getting you all ready for bed, reclining the stroller, stuffing a pillow in there, bringing silkie along, and heading out for a moonlit stroll until you fall asleep under the stars. All we can hear are the sounds of crickets and some distant traffic, we smell the cool night air, feel the soft breeze on our skin, and you just stare up at the night sky as we walk slowly along. Last night, you even began singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Sometimes it’s been just you and I, other times Daddy has come along, but no matter what combination, it’s been a nice, quiet end to the day.

Lao Lao came over and dropped off the 2nd annual family day DVD that we’ve been putting together. We’ve already watched it a few times, once with just the 3 of us, and the other time with Lao Lao and Uncle Forge when they came over for dinner. You loved it, doing the robot dance to some of your songs, and asking every so often, “You crying?” These DVD’s have been so touching to watch, the slide show of pictures of you from the previous year (this year there are over 1000), set to your favorite music…of course we’re crying (and laughing)! Ha ha. When we took a copy over to Memaw and Papaw’s, watching it with them too, they loved it (and cried) as well.

As far as your quirks this week, there have been a few mentionable ones. First, I’m still amazed that you know how to spell your name, but what makes it even cuter is that you pronounce “I” as “oy” so when we ask you to spell your name, you say, “M-A-L-oy”. That’s just one of the little idiosyncrasies I’m going to miss once you finish speech therapy. Along the same lines, you dug out one of your favorite books the other night, “Now I Eat My ABC’s”, and began “reading” it all by yourself as you sat cross-legged on the floor. It was the most adorable sight. We got a video of it, your tiny voice is so priceless, as was your “oy… Ice” when you got to the “I” page that showed a picture of ice. Finally, the last little detail this week has been your choice of outfits for school. We let you pick out your own clothes to wear to school (it’s just easier than fighting you on it first thing in the morning), and no one can deny you have your own style, and an amazingly strong personality. Here are some prime examples of your awesome combinations ~ look out America’s Next Top Model!

green Snoopy shirt, red athletic shorts, and brown corduroy shoes with pink butterfly zippers

blue/orange airplane shirt, red athletic shorts (again), and black suede shoes with turquoise/diamond flowers

Friday you ended the school week like Alexander in that children’s book about his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Unfortunately, you and a classmate got into a tussle over a toy, with you accidentally scratching his face in the struggle as you tried to hang onto the toy. Ms Brandi said that she didn’t think it was intentional on your part to hurt him; it was just a bad situation. She said you actually got tears in your eyes after the incident, and said you were sorry and helped clean him up. She did however tell me that you did not have your listening ears on all that day either. You were just not your usual self at all. It was such a sudden change and I was concerned. The only thing I can think of that was markedly different is that our house guests had come home from staying somewhere else for a few days just the night before. You had been up late with all of the hubbub involved (including traumatically pulling a splinter from the deck out of your foot), and then Daddy said it was hard to get you to go to school that morning because you wanted to stay home. This is just one example (there are many) of how hard it has been with such a packed house, and it’s broken my heart to see you under more stress. This is actually how our moonlit walks have begun, because I’ve been encouraging you to try to identify when you need to take a break and get away from the craziness (or I’ve tried to identify it for you when I notice things are just too much). You and I have slid outside (or at least out of a room) a lot lately, just to talk about what’s going on and how to handle something better, take some deep breaths, or just take a quiet moment. I have told you that if you start to feel upset, to come get me and tell me you need me or that you want to take a walk, and we’ll go. I’m so glad you are taking me up on this, because each night without fail, you turn to me and say, “I need to take a walk Mom”. What has started out for more stressful reasons is becoming one of our favorite parts of the day.

Friday evening, we took Daddy (and the gang) to Music in the Park. There was no creekin’, but I had brought some squirt guns, and you had fun with those.

dead eye of a squirt gun shooter

teaming up on Mama

squirt gun fun even on a Sunday morning

You came with me on the way home, where I stopped to get gas and you insisted on leaning out the window and getting a step-by-step tutorial on how to pump gas. Ever the inquisitive little thing you are. We looked at the near full moon and I told you about how I saw the great big moon when I woke up that morning and how it was so pretty as I drove to work, to which you replied that when you woke up you couldn’t find me. I said yes, that’s because you are still sleeping when I leave. To which you replied that I shouldn’t go to work anymore then. Well, ok! Deal! (I wish!)

Saturday was a busy, yet fun day. We got all gussied up for our 2nd annual family day portraits, with it being the exact 2nd anniversary of the day we arrived home to America with you. July 16th, 2009. You cooperated beautifully with the photographer and they turned out great. We then came home, and headed off to a graduation party near Wadsworth Ohio, for one of Shawn’s cousin’s kids. It was a lot of fun.

go long!

put 'em up!

yes, you are cooling off in the hot (cool) tub. and yes, you are in your underwear

As we drove home, you noticed the moon outside the window of our moving car, asking “Mommy, why the moon moving?” It was very cute, even though my response (the best I could do) was a bit lacking. I just realized this too…the moon sure has helped us lately, being a big part of our life this week. It's been a reassuring constant amidst the chaos.

So, thanks moon.
Love,

Mama

We're creekin', we're dashin', we're Fu groupin'

Maliana ~

Whew. Another nutty week. We still have our house guests and it appears that we will have them indefinitely. We’re all crossing our fingers that things significantly turn around for them, but until then, we’re making the best of it. It’s been interesting to adjust to what plays out like sibling rivalry, particularly between you and the 5 ½ year old. Growing up as essentially an only child myself, I have had no idea how to handle the bickering or other issues (e.g. sharing, or more accurately NOT sharing, etc) that have come up, but like I said, we’re all doing our best day by day. I do have to say that I am proud of you because what I have noticed in this little experiment is that you are the kind of person who can let things roll right off your back, not holding a grudge at all, a trait that I wish I had more often.

Anyway, along with the challenges, there have been many fun times too. Including the silliness you and Lorelei displayed after finding the fart machine (a key ring size contraption that makes fart noises when you push the button)…oh boy was there some serious giggling and strange dancing around while hiking up legs that afternoon. Not to go back to mentioning the struggles, but this one ends on a very cute note. One day in particular, you got hurt a few times, bumping your head not once, but twice. The second time was a rough one, and while you were ok, I sat with you and cuddled you a little extra. I tried to explain my panicky reaction, empathizing with you by telling you that when you get hurt it scares me and breaks my heart…to which you replied, “It breaks my heart too…(then pointing across the room continuing), my heart broke over there.” It was hard to keep a straight face after that ever so sweet, sincere, and slightly strange reply.

We did celebrate our 2nd Family Day this week. With all of the chaos, it was hard to really take it in, but we are already planning a big party for you at the end of the month, renting a beautiful cabin lodge in Hocking Hills and throwing a Family Day party with as many family members as we can cram in there. It should be fun. However, this week it was just you, Daddy, and I that celebrated by going out to dinner at BD Mongolian Barbecue and then over to Easton. We were going to play in the fountains that night, but they had shut them off because of a concert they were setting up, but you settled for getting Cheryl’s cookies and watching the train set on Easton Square. Daddy had to work starting at 6pm anyway, so while this celebration was a bit abbreviated, it was no less special.

Of course, we had to get the obligatory photo booth shot too…you love these things!

What with all of the chaos of the week, it had taken a toll on me so I ended up getting sick on Thursday. I actually had to stay home all day from work in bed, which helped immensely. Anyway, you thought you were big stuff to get to tuck me in, and head off to your own “work” that day, getting a huge kick out of mothering Mama. So precious.

My being out of commission for a bit, gave you time to spend with Daddy, and you helped him fix the car.

I felt better in about 24 hours, so was up and running again. Audrey came over a few times this week to spend as much time as she could before she heads to Germany next week for her study abroad program for the next 2 months. One night, Audrey, you and I took the dogs for a walk…with you insisting on taking your water gun too.

right in the bootie!

blowing a dandelion while holding a water gun ~ multi-tasking summer fun

We’re definitely going to miss Audrey Ayi…2 months is a long time. You had the usual difficulties saying goodbye, we all did. But, we will Skype with her as much as we can and are really excited for her new adventure!

Wrapping up your week at school ended on such a great note. When I picked you up on Friday, I witnessed something so sweet. Remember how I had mentioned what a cool personality you have, well…your friends at school swarmed you that afternoon before we left, each one wanting to hug you goodbye, one after the other. It was the most amazing thing. You also left with a new toy, a gift from another classmate, out of the clear blue. I have no idea what went on that day, but you were Little Miss Popular. It was heartwarming to say the least, which reminds me of something Lao Lao told me later that night. She was doing the usual grandparent bragging to the OBGYN who has been treating our family for the last 35+ years. After hearing all about you and your charisma and magnetic personality from Lao Lao, describing you as a sort of “Pied Piper” of kids (and adults), he made this observation. “Isn’t it interesting how a child who was born to circumstances that seemed so difficult, with so many challenges to overcome, that God could make up for it and gift her with such an amazingly huge and wonderful personality?” I got tears in my eyes when I heard that perspective. Yeah, it is pretty amazing indeed.

So that brings us to the weekend. Friday night, Lao Lao came over and we all discovered a cool little thing called Music in the Park in Gahanna. We headed to a local park, listened to a great live band in the gazebo, ate a picnic dinner, played on the playground, and briefly went creekin’ before we left. It was a nice, laid back, and relaxing evening. (And we are definitely bringing Daddy back here, when he doesn’t have to work like he did tonight).

new part of the jungle gym you conquered

check out the guns!

c'mon! let's go creekin'!

holding hands while we wade through the water

We immediately went to bed after getting home because we had to get up early for the Dash for Donation on Saturday morning. You ran in the kids’ Mascot Dash, and we walked the 5K, to raise money for organ donation, in honor of your Uncle Dustin. The whole event was completely worth getting up and out the door by 6:45am…a great cause and wonderful way to once again talk about your Uncle Dustin with you. Boy, would he have LOVED you.

proudly displaying your medal

Team Dustin 2011

Then we jumped in the car and headed over to the Bunny Park in Dublin to meet the Fu Social Group for their monthly play date, (which we are going to try much harder to keep in the future). It was so much fun, truly wonderful for you to have a blast in the fountains, splashing around, giggling, and doing silly little dances everywhere, and so great for me to be able to connect a little more with the other parents of children from China. Great group of people!

singing like the little rock star you are, on your makeshift stage

triple bunnies at the top of the hill, hence, the Bunny Park

As we drove home, you conked out pretty quickly. As I looked at you in the rear view mirror, happily snoozing in your fresh clothes, wet bathing suit drying as it hangs on the headrest beside you, I had that contented feeling you get when you just know that your kid had a great time and you know that as a parent “ya done good”.

After such a crazy Saturday, I felt the need for a calmer Sunday. Daddy has been on call all weekend, hence not being able to come with us on our outings (boo!) So we hung out at home on Sunday, playing with the girls before they left to go to Joe and Tina’s house, staying there (and getting a little more space) while Joe and Tina are at the beach this week, and then just piddling around the house the rest of the day. In spite of the hot weather, I felt the need to go running to help de-stress from the week. As usual, you wanted to come too, so we loaded up the mini cooler with ice and popsicles, and then hit the trail. It was a great run, in spite of sweating my bootie off. The popsicles were a huge hit, and you even serenaded me with “Sunshine on my Shoulders” (in honor of the sun beating down on us I suppose). After sharing our house with others this week, I welcome this time with just Mali and Mama. I think it’s just what we needed.

Love,
Mama

Family Day, 2 years later

Maliana ~

It boggles my mind to think that two years has gone by already. I also recognize that two years ago today, it was a very traumatic experience for you. Knowing who you are today and being able to read your expressions more easily, I look back at the pictures of our meeting and notice how scared and sad your eyes looked. It breaks my heart and gives me hope, all at the same time.

You may have noticed that I labeled this post “Family Day”. I did this because I regret ever having referred to this day as Gotcha Day, because that is not the connotation that I want you to associate with July 6th. From now on, I will no longer refer to it as that, but instead as Family Day. Moving forward, you may want to change the name, or even omit the name, as you get older. That is fine. But I personally want to always recognize this day, because for your Dad and I, it will always be one of the most amazing and life-changing events of our lives.

July 6th, 2009 will always be the day that your Dad and I became the luckiest people on the planet because it was the day we met you and began this amazing journey called parenthood. We are so fortunate to be able to share your life with you. You have been such a gift, one that we will treasure always. There’s nothing that could ever happen, nothing you could ever do, that would change how much we love you.

Forever and always,
Mama

Sharing Blessings for the Fourth of July

Maliana ~

Thank goodness we have the backpack for you. We have gotten so much use out of it this week and weekend! You were so excited to dig it out and go for a walk where we found some yummy wild raspberries off the trail, then later when Lao Lao came over and we all took a long walk to the playground where you channeled your inner country girl and actually pooped in the woods! (Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do when your kid has to potty). You are definitely heavier (and longer as your legs dangle considerably lower) this year, but it’s just a better workout for me, right? Anyway, it’s totally worth turning my legs to jelly, seeing you so thrilled to be enjoying our nature walks from a new vantage point.

2 cool chicks, right?

yum, wild raspberries!

One day this week, a balloon guy came to your school and made your class balloon creations. You had him make you a sword and holster that you proceeded to wear when I picked you up, strutting the entire way with the biggest swagger, as we walked from your classroom to the car. You were so proud!

Sir Knight Mali

Then upon arriving home, you have begun something new recently. As I’ve said before, you love playing hide and seek, with no one in the house allowed to be immune to this game, including Abby the dog. As soon as we will get home from school, you tell me we have to hide; then you call for Abby to come downstairs. As an unsuspecting Abby bounds down the stairs and rounds the corner, you jump out and “scare” her. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really think she gets too scared…confused maybe, but not scared. However, this exchange never fails to make me laugh. You are too funny kid.

measuring how tall your favorite teddy is on the same wall we measure you on = super cute

Friday was a tough start to the holiday weekend. A weekend that was very busy and full of lots of surprises of varying degrees. Daddy actually had to go pick you up at school early due to you not feeling good and getting a fever. You ended up not being too sick, which was thankfully confirmed by squeezing you in for an emergency doctor’s appointment that afternoon.

Once home from the doctor (and me from work), we got ready for our first round of guests this weekend. As I mentioned before in another post, we met a lovely couple at the Asian Festival back in May. Well, we had You You and William over for a cookout on Friday night and it was so nice to get to spend time with them. You were a bit more subdued than usual, probably due to not feeling top notch, however we thoroughly enjoyed the evening. They brought you a gift, a wonderful Chinese paper-cut book with all of the Chinese zodiac animals, which was very thoughtful. Then while they enjoyed trying our American fare for the cookout, we enjoyed trying the delicious Chinese dishes they brought of salted eggs and a really yummy seasoned beef. After dinner, we had s’mores over the fire and shared more of our stories. It was really neat to learn a little more about their lives and understand more about their experiences both back in China and also since coming here to America. It was a very good evening with new friends.

Saturday evening included a birthday and bon voyage gathering for Audrey Ayi. She will be leaving for Germany soon and will be gone for 2 months. We’ll miss her terribly, but are very excited for her and wanted to make sure we celebrated her great opportunity. I think you were still feeling a little under the weather and discombobulated on Saturday too, acting up and being a little more ornery than usual, but otherwise it was a really nice time with really great company.

Not only did we have these two planned gatherings with friends this weekend, but we had another unexpected surprise that added to time spent with friends as well. Late Friday night, Daddy got a call from a long-time friend, who it turned out was having some fairly serious difficulties. Without going into much detail here, he and his family needed help. So, without thinking twice, Daddy and I invited them to come stay with us for a few days to help them get back on their feet. So, since Friday night/Saturday, we have had four extra honorary family members. This is a big plus for you since they have two girls, ages 5 and almost 2, with whom you have hit it off smashingly. It has been fun to watch and listen to you girls interacting, running around, giggling, and having the most hilarious conversations. Your antics have definitely helped to lighten the load and brighten our days in this time of stress. It has definitely been tight with all of these extra bodies in our house this weekend, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love teaching you that opening yourself up to helping others is its own reward, and I think you’re definitely getting it.

Of course to add to the stresses, Murphy’s Law just had to strike on Sunday afternoon when our refrigerator decided to stop working. Great timing, right? Well, normally something like that would have driven me nuts, especially with all of these people relying on us. But ironically, for some reason we dealt with it like champs and it didn’t even phase me much (which was very odd because usually I am the 'Queen of Freak-Outs'). I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because I have a new perspective and am realizing even more how blessed we are as a family now; or maybe it’s because it just feels good in general to be able to help others and that has carried over into other areas of my life; or maybe it’s something else entirely. Whatever it is, I know I’ve been reminded lately that doing whatever you can, to share whatever you are able to with others, is definitely the way to a life of happiness. I sure hope this lesson can be passed on to you as you grow up. I think we've got a good start so far.

and they're off! gotta love slip n' slides!

playing "hoarders" in your princess tent ~ how much stuff is IN there??

you're jammin' so hard you're blurry!

So, if you are (hopefully) learning important life lessons this weekend, you are also learning not so important ones too. What with all of the entertaining we’ve been doing lately, you filled up a cup of water in the bathtub the other night and informed me, “I’m drinking beer”. Oh lord.

The fourth of July finally arrived on Monday, and we finally got to do some traditional celebrating. Lao Lao came over and you, me, Daddy, and Lao Lao all headed down to the annual Doo Dah parade. You enjoyed it, laughing at some of the marchers and floats, and when it was all over, said, “Let’s do it again!”

matching tie-dyed shirts ~ a must at the Doo Dah (thanks Lao Lao!)

taking pictures of the parade

After getting home and taking a good nap, our ‘temporary family of seven’ headed down to the Park of Roses for the annual fireworks festivities. We met Wai Gong, Memaw Lisa, Uncle Blaize and his two friends there and ate a picnic dinner, played on the playground, lit sparklers and smoke bombs, danced to the live music, and put together all kinds of glowing bracelets (which you insisted on doing yourself ~ Little Miss Independent) and other toys, before the fireworks began around 10pm. You did phenomenal during the fireworks, covering your ears as usual, but actually getting into watching the display, even being slightly disappointed when they ended. Daddy even got teary eyed this year, as the three of us huddled together taking in the colorful flashes, loud booms and pops, and patriotic music blaring through the night air. Given the trials and tribulations of this weekend, the brilliantly lit night sky seemed to dissipate all of our troubles. If just for this time, we were forced to be in the moment, sitting together gazing skyward and enveloped in the radiance of the firework display…it was definitely another one of those magical and memorable times I’ll remember.

geesh, we are loaded down with fun! ha ha

picnic dinner

buds

silly monkey

weeee! (as Wai Gong peeks over the top at you)

we survived the playground!

eek, sparklers!

Memaw Lisa aka the "Candy Lady"

dancing

T minus 10 minutes until BOOM!

our own little firework against the night sky

ahhh, family

And finally, in light the many events of this past weekend, I wanted to share another couple things lately that I’ve noticed to suggest your heart for others continues to grow. For one, you have become more encouraging of others. For example, you and Daddy were “golfing” in the living room the other day, practicing hitting balls into a cup. When Daddy would fall short or miss, you’d look at him and say, “That’s ok Daddy. It’s tricky.” When I heard you say that, my heart smiled. Then, during our fun fireworks shenanigans on the 4th, that ornery Wai Gong decided he was going to tickle me (even at 35, he still feels compelled to tickle me mercilessly). As soon as you saw me in distress however, you leapt into action and rather than joining in “torturing Mommy”, you began to actually try to wrestle with Wai Gong and literally threw your body on top of mine to try to protect me! Then, as I sat up, you lovingly put your arm behind my back and helped me up, saying “It’s ok Mommy”. You have never done that before, and it was so sweet. My little bodyguard. Little glimmers like these keep occurring, in the midst of all of your own orneriness, tenacity, and fierce independence. Every bit of this, from each end of the spectrum, I love. You are growing into the coolest little girl.

Love,
Mama