Suirong ~
Family Day was smaller than usual because of various things. Partially, your teenage years have turned you into quite the vampire lately, sleeping late and staying up all night talking to friends online. Then, Daddy got a double ear infection, Audrey had to work, etc etc. But Mere was finally able to join us for something so we forged ahead anyway on July 6th to our favorite, Helen's Kitchen. More all-inclusive family meal to celebrate would have to wait a bit.
Backing up just 2 days prior to Family Day, I was able to take you and Crow, Jelysa, and Jeffrey to the fireworks in Westerville. Impromptu but fun, nonetheless.
Speaking of impromptu, you asked to build a terrarium and so we immediately jumped in the car and headed off to a few different nurseries and craft stores to get all the supplies. Then, you were off to work to make your vision a reality.
Yes, it's a martini glass...with tiny animals having a boozy picnic. LOL
Another day, we had the best time, just me and you going for a walk at Inniswood, talking and laughing and listening to the frogs. I felt so surprised and lucky that you agreed to come with me. I treasure these moments with you so much.
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| this was one of your attempts to try out new filters...yikes! thanks for making me look so...hot? haha |
More memories were made, this time with Lao Lao, too. I heard Jimmy Buffett was touring again and coming nearby (Cincinnati). So I got the 3 of us tickets because, even though you don't know his music, his concerts are legendary and someday you will be happy to say, "oh yeah, I did see him live once!" Even without being a fan, you can't help but have fun in the spirit of his concerts surrounded by crazy lei-covered folks and beach balls whizzing in every direction.
And then, shortly after this concert...Daddy and I were able to bring to fruition something we've been planning for months. See below...my post on social media about it. Once it was all done.
And then another piece of ink that I got in the same sitting...somewhat inspired by my experience as I watch you on your gender journey and also the fact that I just fall in love with certain words sometimes.
Here's how I've decided to describe the meaning behind it...as I shared on social media.
***
I don't know about you, but I've always fallen in love with certain words. This is one of those words for me.
A while back, I read an article titled "The Impact of Liminal Space on Your Mental Health" and I was intrigued. It starts off with this:
"Liminal Space
The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically"
and goes on beautifully from there.
This article resonated with me so much. In so many aspects of my life. Since getting the tattoo and when someone asks what it means, I've struggled to concisely summarize its particular meaning for me. Today, I think I came up with at least a rough draft to explain it.
When I look at my left wrist, this word is a reminder for me that...
It's ok to be in the "in between".
It's ok to be a work in progress.
It's ok to not know the ultimate outcome.
That sometimes the most precious and valuable parts of an experience are nestled in "the becoming".
That the murky grey can contain multitudes of gold.
And when faced with an uncertain life, try to choose openness and curiosity over fear and judgment as much as possible.
***
Prior to getting tattoos, we knew we needed to take advantage of any pool time for the summer since we couldn't swim for a few weeks while the tats healed.
So, cheers! to an amazing kid who inspired us to get these tats and who we hope knows how much we love and support them, always.
And also dad acting like a kid on our day at the pool waiting for the whistle to blow after rest period.
Mid/late summer in Ohio means the state fair was back in town so you, me, and Lao Lao hit it up and checked it out. Always a nice tradition.
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| with all the activities and sights around us at the fair, we became mesmerized by ants who had an entire system of shuffling away the powdered sugar we kept dropping. haha |
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| and we had to stop to see Uncle Flint who is, once again, the director of the art exhibition at the fair. very cool! |
And if the fair is done...you know what that means? Well, hold onto your britches...*drumroll please*
Holy hell! Is it August and back to school time already?! And double holy hell!! Do I already have a high schooler?! Welcome to your freshman year, M! Where has the time gone??
As is the usual tradition, I dusted off the letter I read to you before the first day of school. This time, Lucky wanted to be in on it. When I asked if you wanted me to read it to you again for old times sake, you replied with a grin, "nah, I already know every line by heart" ❤️
The first days of high school brought unexpected schedule changes and upheaval. Not exactly what I had hoped for you in this big transition, but you rolled with it. So resilient.
Another big change happened after the high school open house when you and Mere told me you'd been dating for 9 months already. You were so relieved to share with me finally. We sat in the dark car for an hour in the driveway and just talked. I could tell you felt so much better to not carry this secret anymore. You carried it longer than you normally would have for Mere's sake. She was so worried about telling me and finally worked up the nerve to text and ask for my approval. It's also hard because of her family's potential response to your relationship (hence her hesitancy) but I hope I reassured both of you that I will always be nothing but accepting and supportive. I mean, have you SEEN my tattoo?! Ha.
To celebrate the beginning of high school, I took you, Mere, Jeffrey, and Jelysa to dim sum at Helen's Kitchen. Yummy.
And remember how I said this school year started off with surprises? Well, after over two years of dodging the 'rona, covid hit our family - oof. Quarantining and feeling crummy for us all, but I think it hit me hardest. It took a solid month for me to shake it (and the ensuing sinus infection). You and dad were rock stars, though.
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| finally feeling human and hanging with my two favorite humans |
So, after settling into your freshman year, you had another new responsibility. Your first baby-sitting gig. You're already one of the most responsible kids I know so, it makes sense. Our neighbors, Lance and Morgan, approached us and asked if you'd be interested in watching Walter, their 3 year old, when they went to an OSU game. And you did great! You called Avery and Mere for tips throughout the evening, like for things such as how to handle a surprise naked kid at bedtime (LOL), but overall, you were a pro. You called him Buddy a lot and helped make him a couch cushion fort. You even folded up the blankets and straightened up the house before they got home. The next morning Walter asked, "Where's my friend?" and that night when you came home, you talked to me about your first adventure in baby-sitting for almost an hour. I am so proud of you and so glad it went to so well!
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| here's just some pics of you and Avery one night when I was over there with Kelly |
In mid-September, you and I enjoyed a surprise evening together where we began looking for homecoming clothes for you. Your first high school dance (eek)! We ended up at Polaris and miracle of all miracles, found slacks that actually fit you! We then drove around looking for dinner and talking about all kinds of things. Friends, family, relationships, life. It was one of those evenings where you were open and I didn't have to compete with your phone screen. It felt so good to reconnect. I just love the person you are. These special surprise nights are priceless. No pics, just living in that glorious moment with you.
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| this pic was from another day where we decided to try the new Korean hotdog joint - yum! |
And speaking of hotdogs...here's good ol' Charlie (and me) next door!
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| and this little pic is just something I'll throw in here so you remember your mom is a nut (Kelly, Marisha and I climbed on top of construction equipment after a night of playing Bingo - why? I do not know. just because!) |
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| Lao Lao and I with her sunflowers |
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| my new babies ~ a rosemary bush and a magnolia fig tree! |
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| my first raspberry bush with its first ripe raspberry! so delicious |
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| Lucky enjoying the light breezes on our screened-in porch |
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| Grizz enjoying a walk in the creek with me |
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| the obligatory pic of you three afterwards in the parking lot (you're as tall as Memaw now!) |
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| left to right - Carol, Mike, Papaw and Memaw |
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| if you look closely, Papaw is sneaking a candid shot of you |
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| what a mess! (cooking marshmallows for s'mores) |
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| you and Sam (and Grizz waiting for anyone to drop something) |
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| Daddy and Uncle Kevin |
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| I love this candid shot of your papaw |
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| here Papaw is waiting for you to get ready and the animals are clearly taking advantage of him sitting there, ha |
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| outside Bukowski Tavern in Boston (yes, after the author Charles Bukowski) |
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| a bathroom sign in Gulu Gulu Cafe in Salem MA |
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| vintage shopping |
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| outside the first ever hostel I stayed in...the Black Elephant Hostel in Portland ME |
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| Owl's Head light |
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| views from my solo walk through Rockland ME |
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| I drank coffee here on the porch of our inn in Rockland ME, watching the sunrise and feeling at peace |
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| these smelled delicious |
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| the cabin we stayed in in Bar Harbor ME |
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| sunset in Seal Cove ME |
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| coffee with the sunrise in Bar Harbor ME |
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| this and the next several pics are of our hike and exploration of Acadia National Park |
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| they were painting on easels on a cliffside |
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| lunch after our day in Acadia |
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| you didn't even fight me too hard for this hug... I missed you so much! |
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| you and I tried so hard to set up the tent...I'm proud of us, even if it didn't go exactly as planned. haha |
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| there was even a dock for fishing - that's where Daddy headed |
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| and of course I befriended another camper's dog, no surprise |
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| dinner of baked beans and hot dogs |
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| I love this pic of us |
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| sunset |
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| no filter, just pure natural beauty |
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| bedtime...we had so much fun playing 20 questions and Cards Against Humanity in the tent |
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| coffee in the morning while you snoozed in the tent |
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| breakfast bacon on a campfire - yum! |
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| my sad attempt at cooking cinnamon rolls over a campfire (or as Daddy joked, "are they intestines or...??" haha) |
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| here's my birthday bouquet from Lao Lao with one red rose in the middle...one of my favorite traditions |
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| some nice reminders for you that I picked up in Salem |
Love you so much!
Mama
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