A World Shattering May

Mali ~

Another month in quarantine lockdown(ish). It's been interesting, staying home for the most part and venturing out towards the end of the month just a little bit more.

As you can see from the photo below, we all started to get a little stir crazy. As I shared this picture on social media with the caption..."This is my husband, but not my dog or my driveway" LOL

One group that is definitely making out like bandits with all of us being home with not much to do are the squirrels. They've been a huge source of my entertainment as I experiment with different things to feed them and as they begin bringing me more of them (as in number of squirrels and other, ahem, "accessories" as you can see in the fourth picture below. Oh my! 🙈

apples and peanut butter

now there are two squirrels that come by for snacks

someone brought his own nuts to the party...
we named him "Monty", as in The Full Monty

The rest of the animals are continuing to enjoy having their humans around as well.

I swear Lucky thinks he is a dog

I mean, seriously...can this get any cuter?

a rare sighting of all 5 pets on the couch taking a nap

and Suzy is still acting very strange...it's hit or miss
with her refusing to go outside without her mama ~
here she's even declining a WALK with Dad. WTH?!

The dogs have also decided they thoroughly enjoy Lao Lao's backyard. 

I mean...really enjoy it!

Since haircuts are still a bit iffy in salons right now...we decided to cut Daddy's hair at home before he went insane from its unruly length.

the whiskey is for me...the clippers are for you

you did an amazing job for your first time as a barber!

trust me...he liked it!

hahaha

isn't he handsome? #freshhaircutvibes

you helped me get in on the grooming game by
assisting with plucking my "beard" ~ thanks, man!

chilling in the garage with your dad while we watch a storm roll in

You, Lao Lao, and Daddy also surprised me with a sweet Mother's Day dinner and gifts. 

Grizz is clearly more interested in the dinner than the picture

More time home means more time helping Lao Lao with her new home. You have thoroughly enjoyed pitching in and helping clear her yard of brush, dig out old paver stones so she can create her garden, and help build her raised bed garden. You love a good power tool.

that brush pile was HUGE

you dug out all of those paver stones all by yourself!

Your theatre teachers surprised us on one of the rainy days at the end of the school year to hand-deliver a gift bag and award for most improved crew member to you. It was the sweetest thing for them to take the time to drive to each of the kids' homes and make it as special as they could since you couldn't hold the usual end of the year party. Have I told you how grateful I am that you have such sweet teachers who truly care about the kids in their care?

#dramateachersrock

By the end of the month, I began letting up on restrictions a bit and allowed you to have a couple hang-out times with friends. You were over the moon to see Bryden for a meet-up at the park, and you also adored being able to have Jos over to the house for a while. I'm so grateful you have such good-hearted friends.

While the beginning of the month brought happiness, the end of the month brought a lot of heartbreak and is bringing the country (and world) to its knees. To be honest, this awareness and attention and action has been needed for decades, centuries, really. Even though there's a lot of turmoil right now, I'm grateful that it's brought about some wonderful conversations between you and me. 

It's impossible to sum this up adequately, but I will try to bumble through. Essentially, and not sugarcoating at all, the ongoing murders of people of color throughout our country by their fellow community members and, in particular, law enforcement officers has been a pandemic of its own, long before Covid-19. I'm not going to rehash each and every incident that has happened lately as there is no definitive beginning to the ongoing emergency that has enveloped our country in the rallying cry of Black Lives Matter. Just Google Black Lives Matter and 2020. You will begin to understand and fill in the gaps of what your memory will not capture during this tumultuous time in our history.

Since I am writing this into June, for the last few weeks I have been immersing myself in learning more about current events, then diving back into history to attempt to understand the generational pain and trauma that have been carried and are still being carried,  culminating in yet another tipping point in US history. The next step in the long-raging battle for civil rights. This deep and long-standing pain is being displayed in protests, marches, riots, and urgent pleas and demands to the powers that be to finally listen and dismantle the U.S.'s system of a delusion of white supremacy and ultimately, truly see and (most importantly) treat people of color as equal.

All I can honestly say is..."white supremacy is an insidious, stubborn, raging bitch, Mali". It truly is. 

Rewinding a bit to May 28th, you came into my room around 11pm after you'd been watching various Tiktokers and YouTubers. Your soulful eyes looked at me in all seriousness and you asked, "Mom, what is happening in Minneapolis?" And so began the first of (hopefully many) serious, adult, and heartbreaking conversations with you about what happened with George Floyd, racism, white supremacy, police brutality, Black Lives Matter, protesting, marching, and how to be a caring supportive, anti-racism advocate. We continued our conversation the next day as I showed you a video of Don Lemon (of CNN) talking about his take, as a man of color, on this incident. You expressed concern about some of your best friends, Jelysa and Jeffrey. We cried together. You reached out and sent them a text to tell them how awesome you think they are. We talked some more. We discussed many of the different ways we can be activists and take action to end this type of thinking and these types of incidents. How to show up and speak out when needed. You showed me a Tiktok video where they had compiled information on some of the most recent victims of police brutality. We talked about how your peers are becoming involved through the reach of social media, getting informed and taking action. We talked about how important protests are and how marching can be like praying with your feet. And then we sat together. Overwhelmed and in silence for a bit. Just sitting with our feelings. We continued our conversation about all of the many ways in our daily lives that we can continue this activism by being informed and aware, by speaking out, by showing up, and by taking action for yourself and others when appropriate. 

It was a lot. But...I got this text from you on one of the following mornings...

I love waking up to texts like this.

So, there *is* a bright side, right?

To be honest with you, I don't have a bright, shiny bow to wrap on this blog entry. This is heavy stuff. It's a lot to carry. As a person of color yourself, you will be directly affected by this. You already have been. And as your parent, it's part of my job to give you the tools to be prepared. These conversations are just one of the ways I am trying to do that.

But I will say that, in these conversations you once again showed me the incredible, empathic human that you are and are becoming and I could not be more proud of you. You blow me away, kid.

Love,
Mama