The Holidays

Maliana ~

While I love the whole Christmas holiday season and I am pretty sure that all in our family had a fantastic time, I can't help but mention that I was personally on an emotional roller coaster this year, from start to finish. Lots of crazy grown-up worries racing through my head taking up a lot of useless time and energy. And I know that you noticed at different points. For that, I am sorry. I really am. I can say that I'm working on it (thank you, therapy), but it's definitely a process. Anyway, I'm saying all of this because it relates to why I am combining the two weeks including Christmas through New Year into one entry for you, unlike my usual weekly post. I just didn't have the mental focus or energy to do it sooner. That being said, I'll apologize now if the following is a bit disjointed.

And now that that is out of the way...here we go!

The actual day of Christmas eve was grey, dreary and rainy from start to finish with Daddy working at the office and you and I hanging at home, trying to be festive while we passed the time until our annual family dinner. We made brownies and hot cocoa for Santa (your idea to change it up a bit this year) before heading to dinner at Billy Lee's with Memaw, Papaw, Daddy, Uncle Forge and Lao Lao. You were so proud of your mohawk that we fashioned for our special dinner, asking "Lao Lao, did you see my hair?" when she arrived at our house. We even drove the long way to look at Christmas lights on the way home before watching your very own video message from Santa himself, putting out his treats by the fireplace, writing a note for Santa on our chalkboard and checking the Norad Santa Tracker before heading to bed. Once you saw how close Santa was getting, you exclaimed "We gotta get to bed!"

at Billy Lee's for Christmas eve dinner

Papaw always teases you...even on Christmas eve

VIDEO OF YOU WATCHING SANTA MESSAGE

checking the Norad Santa Tracker

choosing just the right brownies for Santa

perfection!

and the stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

your note for Santa

family selfie before bed on Christmas eve...with you
purposely looking like a little ornery elf!

The night between Christmas eve and Christmas morning proved to be one of the longest yet in our family history. About every half hour, you would roll over, look at the clock, tap me and say "I'm so excited!" or "This is so hard!" or "I can't believe it's Christmas already!" or "Mom, I can't sleep!" And every time I would roll over throughout the night, you would be laying there staring straight up at the ceiling with a crazed look in your eyes. I would be 100% shocked to learn that you got any more than an hour or two of sleep that entire night. It was my first real glimpse into the anticipation of Christmas ~ Level Insanity. It was pretty magical...and pretty awesome.

Morning finally came, bright and early at 5:30am when we finally caved in agreed to stumble downstairs with you. As we fumbled around, Daddy thought he heard something just before we got out of bed and so went down slightly ahead of us and actually caught this on his camera...

are those Santa's feet??

Then when we came downstairs, we saw this...

Santa left you a note...just like you requested!

Then we hit the presents. You were so happy and grateful and sweet. It brought tears to my eyes and a warmth to my heart to watch. Seeing your joy and listening to your gratitude and kindness made my heart sing. I love you so much!

--video from Christmas morning--

reading Santa's note

gifts from Santa under the tree!

stocking was filled!

helping Suzy open her gigantic rope chew

Minecraft Legos ~ exactly what you asked Santa for!

Boo!

Chinese family!

loving on your Abby

realizing that this reindeer actually poops jelly beans

Lao Lao opening her Secret Santa gift from you

Daddy opening his Secret Santa gift from you

my Secret Santa gift from you

you didn't expect to get your own tablet!

The rest of this Christmas day was spent relaxing and playing with new toys, with family and friends rotating in and out throughout the day. It was so nice to not have to go anywhere and get to stay in our jammies from morning until night. First Lao Lao, then Uncle Flint, then Memaw and Papaw, and finally Audrey and a brief visit from our neighbors Mike, Cori and Sophia to round out the day. Of particular note, as we opened gifts from Memaw and Papaw, you insisted that Daddy and I go first with all of our gifts and announced, "I'm being kind today." Then, as the day was winding down, you self-reflected with this one..."I just love Christmas. It's about time with family and celebrating the birth of Jesus." With me asking, "Who's Jesus?" and you replying "Umm..a baby!!" Ha. Seeing as how we are definitely spiritual in our approach to life but not necessarily religious folk in our house, that one made me chuckle. I love you, kid. And I have to agree with you, I just love Christmas too.

Reflecting for a bit, I realized that for all of the moments (as a parent) that you (my child) can stop my heart or take my breath away with fear or worry, you are worth every second. Every. Single. Second. Your sense of humor and kind heart are truly one of a kind. I'm so lucky to know you and love you.

here are the generous and thoughtful gifts from
your honorary Auntie Yoyo in CO...
I promise ~ one of these days we'll
get out there to play with her!

finally...a nice hug from Papaw!

and a kiss from Memaw

and later that night...we were reminded why dogs
and board games don't exactly mix

The day after Christmas you, Lao Lao and I headed to Franklin Park Conservatory to learn about Kwanzaa and then to Dirty Franks for some hot dogs. I loved learning about Kwanzaa, how the holiday came to pass and what it represents. It adds an amazing social justice element to the holidays and is a truly beautiful tradition.

the Kwanzaa presentation

watching the train display

More one on one time = more hugs and letting me kiss you. Also, "Mom, will you cozy me up?" is the new "Mom, will you tuck me in?" at our house. Love, love, love it.

snuggled in your bed with your new tablet under Christmas lights

The weekend after Christmas we headed to Lake Hope for our annual 'Christmas at a cabin' excursion. Daddy had to stay behind so it was just you, Lao Lao, me and Uncle Forge. It was nice to get away together and enjoy our time playing board games and putting together new toys. This year, you were concerned with the level of coziness in our cabin so of course, we made sure to bring Christmas lights to make it just that. And Iroh (Forge's dog) even came too so you had lots of fun snuggling with but also terrorizing him with the robot we built that night (a gift from Lao Lao).

finally got the robot to work!

poor Iroh..."help me!"

Lao Lao won't save you either, Iroh

you insisted on signing this receipt for our server the next morning...
to her "Thank you" you wrote "No Thank You"...and after
discussing what you meant, I gave you an impromptu lesson
in comma usage because you had actually meant,
"No, Thank YOU" ~ you crack me up, kiddo!

one more snuggle with Uncle Forge before
heading our separate ways

bye bye, cabin!

And before I forget, earlier the same day that we left for the cabin you had received a special medal from Team Lentil in the mail. I had no idea it was coming and it was so sweet and touching that Lentil Bean had sent these medals to all kids who are involved with him and have dealt with various craniofacial difficulties. You opened it and immediately felt so important. Actually, you sported that medal at various times throughout that weekend at the cabin and even during the next week. It was clearly very special to you and I was immensely touched. The littlest things can make the biggest impact to others. You just never know. Remember that, baby. It doesn't ever take very much to brighten someone else's life.

you specifically chose your Lentil shirt to wear
with your new medal

The week surrounding the New Year you spent 3 of the 5 weekdays with Lao Lao since school and daycare were closed. You did all sorts of things together, including getting some hair dye (red, blue and green) that you have wanted for a while. It was temporary (of course) but looked very cool and you had a lot of fun with it. The night we used it, it even inspired a silly song you performed with a (clean and unused) plunger we have. The lyrics went something like this, "Suc...tion ...will make you prou-ou-oud!" Ha. Before bed that night, you said "Today is great! I dyed my hair...I flew my drone..." Ha. Thank you for bringing a smile back to my face. After a particularly emotional and challenging day for myself, coming home to enjoy a wacky evening felt good. Laughter really is the best medicine.

with your new hair color

New Year's Eve hat ~ ready to party!

singing with your plunger

flossing while enjoying your colorful mohawk

texts received on the day you bought your hair color...
I love that you can text me now (with
Lao Lao's phone, of course)!

you warmed my heart with these...love you so much!

That being said, you have noticed that I have been having a rough time lately. No matter what, I just can't hide it from you all the time. You are very intuitive and you have also felt even more compassion and concern lately as well. One evening, I decided to head to bed early while you hung out with Dad for a little while. As you tucked me in this time, you asked "Mom, do you need anything? A glass of ice water?" It was so sweet. Then a little bit later, you quietly climbed into bed (thinking I was already asleep) and I rolled over and gave you a hug, telling you that I'm one lucky mama. In the darkness, you smiled. I know that it's hard to see your parent having a hard time but I hope that my reassurance in times like this will be enough. I hope.

The very next day we arrived home and between the crazy dogs and cats in our family and all of the chaos that they can create, I was at my wit's end. Once again, your intuition sprung to action and you took it upon yourself to clean the bathroom and kitchen, all on your own. I made sure to tell you how thoughtful that was and how much I appreciated it. To which you brushed off the compliments with "I know. I just have good ideas...because I'm smart...and I'm honest." Ha. I not only love that heart of yours but I adore the choices of adjectives with which you so readily identify yourself.

New year's eve came and went. We decided to celebrate quietly at home with family and friends. It was a quieter evening but so much easier than any crazy hoop-lah, in my opinion. By the end of 2014 and entering into 2015, I realize I am much more comfortable than I was just days before. Remember me saying that I'd been having a tough time lately? Well, even though big changes (or even the possibility of big changes) have always scared me, especially when I have no idea how to handle them; however, when given some time, I realize that I typically end up feeling thankful for them all. The blessings, and even the adventures that are actually blessings in disguise, that you have brought into our lives are all reasons to feel thankful. All have become opportunities for us to grow. I may not always understand everything, but I do know that I need to work on not being so afraid of that which I don't know yet. Perhaps this is my call to a resolution in 2015? Perhaps.

it was freezing but you both went outside for
quite some time to play with silly string ~ crazy kids!

showing Uncle Forge how to wear his chocolate mustache

we mustache you to have a Happy New Year!

Mike and Cori

Daddy and Audrey

Forge and Kenzie

getting photo-bombed by Cori

you actually took this picture of Suzy and Iroh
(not bad, Munchkin!)

So, officially 2015 now and we made our annual pilgrimage to Memaw and Papaw's for pork and sauerkraut. You and Sam are two peas in a pod, inciting laughter and smiles from all those around you. It was a good evening with the family. A wonderful way to begin the new year.

you and Sammy found Papaw's secret office

"Grandpa's got some cool shit!"

with your annual memory books from Papaw

poor Suzy

playing "hide from the grown ups"

The rest of the week and weekend consisted of sleeping in and lots (I mean, LOTS) of Legos. Lao Lao had ordered from some kind of Lego rental place and a package arrived this week with several kits and somewhere well over 1,000 Lego pieces for you to build. You spent lots of time at her house, putting together this and that all weekend. You loved it! We even spent an impromptu evening at her house on Saturday night after arriving home to realize we had no electricity at our house. What was a surprise turned into a really nice and cozy evening just hanging out with her and Max. It felt so nice. It's wonderful to have her so close to us now. I really, really love it.

warming up with my blanket of
"kid-cat-dog"

And for the final humdinger of our winter break...you got your ears pierced. Yep, you heard me right. Ears. Pierced. I was shocked that you said you wanted to do it and even more shocked when you became so adamant about doing it. I thought for sure that you would change your mind. But, you continued to remind us and ask when we were going to go get it done, so the day after you mentioned it, off we went. You did get a bit scared just before, worried about what it would feel like. I took that opportunity to make sure to ask you if you still actually wanted to wear earrings and weren't just feeling pressured or doing it for the wrong reasons. You said yes, but you were worried about it hurting. Luckily, Lao Lao had also come with us and since her ear lobes had closed from piercings years ago, she was able to get her ears pierced just before you to show you it wasn't a big deal. You were still very nervous but ended up doing it and so far, it seems like you like them. You keep asking if they are still in your ears (since they don't hurt anymore) and I have caught you a couple of times checking them out in the mirror. So far, you have been excited about showing them to Erin (thinking you would get to see her soon) and Miss Stenger back at school. I hope you continue to enjoy them. I don't know if you will. Time will tell.

Lao Lao going first

all done ~ but still some residual tears
from being so nervous

see? you did it...
I'm still baffled but they do look great

Of course, you definitely have to make every experience unique and humorous (your Mali trademark) and this was no exception. In discussing the different kinds of earrings you can eventually choose later on, you told us that you are excited to wear trash can earrings on every trash day. Yep. You heard that right. Trash cans. Ha. Go figure.

Love you,
Mama