Mama's Memories for M: MLK, Jr. and My 6 Year Old

Maliana ~

I hate to begin a blog post like this, but I'll just get it out there right off the bat. Monday...was a yuck day. Ashrei, a particular girl at school who has been acting very mean to pretty much everyone, was a pain in the rear for you. You were so upset when I picked you up that you began crying once we got to the car. After sitting with you a while, you finally told me what had happened and so we marched back inside and spoke with Ms. Jessica and Ms. Jennifer. They agreed to continue addressing the issue (evidently they are fully aware of what a difficult child she has been) and I made sure to thank you for sharing what had happened with me. I hope you always feel like you can include me in your life, even when and especially when the events are messy. I am here for you and I hope you always remember that.

Luckily, Audrey Ayi was here to visit us when we arrived home and I agreed to take you to $5 Below where we found one of your latest favorite games, Mancala! Audrey did awesome with you and helped me lift your spirits. We even taught Daddy how to play Mancala before bed. What was a kind of crummy afternoon turned into a pretty good evening.

The next couple days went well at school, with you telling me that, "Ashrei was nice today, Mom!" I was relieved that you had gotten a little bit of a reprieve from this doozy of a child. It's so hard to let go and let you handle stuff on your own when I want to "fix" everything for you and "make it all better". One of the tougher parts of being a parent, I suppose. On Wednesday, we celebrated nothing in particular and headed to Jeni's at Easton for some yummy ice cream. Regardless of what's happening, it's always a good time for ice cream, especially in the summer!

mmmmm...

and what goes better with summer and ice cream
than a little sparkler action before bed?

By Friday, we are usually very tired and grumpy with each other due to the combination of work and school along with staying up later than usual enjoying the summer nights. This week was no exception. You and I had a little spat about your shoes and shorts (of all things, go figure!), but thankfully it was short-lived and you even spontaneously apologized to me (and I to you) and then we hugged it out. I seriously have one amazing kid, that's for certain! After speech we headed to Cafe Creekside for some breakfast on their patio. It was a gorgeous morning and I do believe I had the best breakfast date in all of the central Ohio area!

While the day started with a wonderful breakfast, it unfortunately took a horrible turn in the afternoon. Ashrei struck again, actually pushing you just before I got there to pick you up from daycare, making you sob openly and cry huge elephant tears. It completely shocked me and broke my heart to see such a strong reaction from you. As Audrey (who came to pick you up with me) and I stood there, listening to you tearfully tell us what had happened, our hearts sank. It made us so angry. We saw red. The sting was even greater since just that morning it had been 'bike day' at school and you had proudly donned your 'big kid' 2-wheeler bike (one of the only kids who didn't need training wheels) and I watched you go out of your way to help a fellow classmate. You had ridden slowly alongside her, asking me to help her up on her bike and telling her, "If you want, we can take off your training wheels and I can work on it with you." Such a patient and sweet gesture. Perhaps you are wondering, 'who was that little girl you were trying to help, out of the kindness of your sweet little heart?' Well...it was Ashrei. Yep. That same little girl who had just pushed you and made you cry right before I arrived to pick you up that day. That same little girl who has repeatedly, almost daily, done things to hurt your feelings and make you sad. That girl. When Audrey put two and two together that you had (just that morning) attempted to help the same child who has been so much less than kind to you, she teared up too. Right there on the playground. Uggh. And while yes, my heart was broken for you, I was also proud of you in a strange way. Proud of you because you are not the kind of kid who holds grudges. Proud of you because instead of staying angry and resentful, you are the kind-hearted child who selflessly wants to help their classmates, no matter what. Proud of you because you are simply a good person, through and through. Proud because you are already a better person than me. So proud. So thankful. You already understand what I still struggle with in times of conflict. As the famous Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." How is it that my 6 year old already knows this? How is it that you have already learned, in the 6 short years you have been on this planet, what I am still learning as I muddle through my 39th? You are one of the greats, Mali. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Fortunately, we were able to dry your tears as we drove home, and thankfully, Cori and Sophia were outside when we arrived. With Audrey's help, you all created art in the green grass of the yard, getting nice and messy in the process. Then you had the brilliant idea to take the girls with us to Taco Bell and Dairy Queen for dinner. It was a crazy night of loud music, silliness, windows rolled down, and the breeze blowing through our hair as we all drove into Westerville together. You kids are SO much fun. When we arrived at Dairy Queen, I had completely forgotten that it was Fourth Fridays in uptown Westerville. The place was swarming with pre-teens and teens, hanging out and just doing what they do. I thought Sophia was going to die of embarrassment. And of course, Audrey, Cori and I just could not resist in upping the embarrassment quotient just a bit before heading home. If embarrassing your teenager is this much fun all the time, then you are so in for it in another 6 or so years! Mwahahaha!!

poor Sophia...hiding under the table

ha...couldn't help it...had to embarrass her more!

So, as if our Friday night wasn't fun enough...Saturday was a big day as well, Audrey Ayi's 40th birthday! We slept in that morning, knowing that it would be a late night. Well, I attempted to sleep in anyway...see for yourself below.

yeah, not much sleeping going on here

I took you to Kroger later on to pick up some last minute items for the cookout we were throwing for Audrey and you wanted to pick out flowers for her, telling me, "Mom, you remember how Audrey got me flowers for my recital day? Well, I want to be nice and get her flowers for her birthday!" You smelled nearly all of the bouquets and then exclaimed, "This one is perfect!"

Thankfully once home you caught a cat nap, falling asleep in the middle of playing on the hard wood floors of your room. You must have been exhausted!

I see feet under that bundle of blanket...

there you are!

Actually, the entire week you kept falling sound asleep in the funniest positions...you must have been one sleepy little munchkin. Here are a couple more:

The birthday cookout and bonfire went great and it was fun to be able to celebrate this milestone with our Audrey Ayi! Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, especially the bonfire which got a little crazy(!), and you loved hanging out into the wee hours of the night until you just couldn't keep your eyes open any longer. We have some really fantastic neighbors and it is so nice to be able to spend time bonding with them all.

Audrey with her cake

Audrey's family ~ L to R
Camden, Amy, Bryant, Audrey, Matt, Mauria and Lynn

with the birthday girl

It was a good, good night.

Sunday, after sleeping in until 10am (which felt awesome!) we made a quick trip to the YMCA so you could practice more of your swimming. I didn't want to lose any momentum you had gained while at the beach. In the pool, you did great with an intense focus on trying and trying and trying again mixed in with a lot of silliness and laughter. It felt great to cool off and I really enjoyed spending this one on one time, just me and you.

Later that afternoon, we went over to a cook out with Mia and her family. It was so nice to see them again and when I told you where we were going, you said, "Oh good! It's been forever since I've seen Mia!" Ha. Always nice to spend time with the Neuhausel crew!