You're Back Baby!

Maliana ~

Hi sweetie. This week, I am happy to report, you have returned to your normal self. However, the week started out very difficult, which completely broke my heart. The first few days at school this week (and also your speech therapy session) were so hard for you, having behavior problems that were polar opposite from the Mali that we all know. Putting two and two together, it wasn’t hard to figure out that it was related to the extra stress at home with way too many people in one space, and the inevitable personality collisions and ensuing tension. I actually began crying one day when I picked you up at school, walking in to see you sitting with Ms Brandi in time out, and then having her tell me how difficult you had been all day (and the day before). Seeing that, along with what happened later that night at a cookout at our cousin Rebecca’s, had been the final straw. It was obvious you were simply feeling out of sorts and while playing with your Aunt Lindsey at the cookout, she told us you had wanted to stay in the playroom (instead of going where the rest of the family was). You told her, “too many people in there”…then on the way home, you told us you didn’t want to go home. That crushed me. All of the past weeks’ events, and then the obvious toll it was taking on you, culminated in our decision to let our house guests know that something needed to change. There was no way I could let you continue to suffer like that. Originally, I was going to take you and stay somewhere else until they could move out. However, when the mother heard this, she graciously said that she completely understood where I was coming from as a fellow mother herself, and that you and I needed to stay. There was no way she could let us leave since this was our house, and that they would just have to find another place as soon as possible. I was very grateful that she was so understanding. Ironically, they found a new place within less than 24 hours. Almost immediately after our house guests left, you returned to your normal self. You began talking, laughing, giggling, playing, being silly, and getting completely back to your usual Mali self. I talked to Ms Phyllis briefly who describes the usual Mali as being a positive leader (not falling for the bad examples set by some of the other kids at school) and Ms Brandi had shining reports for you the rest of the week. It was amazing to see the transformation, a huge relief, and a wonderful confirmation that we had made the right decision for our family.

So, now that that episode is behind us, we have all learned a lot about how to give to others when in need, but also the need for healthy boundaries in doing so. I hope that next time; we’ll do better a little earlier to avoid any more hardships. It’s all about learning and growing, and we all did some of that.

So onto more good stuff. We attended Daddy’s annual appointment with his endocrinologist this week, and afterwards we all got to go out to dinner with Memaw and Papaw. You kept us all in stitches, particularly with your photography session after dinner, asking us to pose together while holding rocks you found in the restaurant landscaping. Seeing you, this 34” tall 3 year old directing us around was hysterical…and remarkably, you took a really good picture.

amazingly centered and not blurry (which you made sure of, retaking it once for us...you are very picky, exclaiming "it's blurry!" and instantly retaking it)

Another day after school I took you out to Friendly’s and you were so talkative and animated, telling me all sorts of made up stories the whole time. It was very cute.

It has been exceptionally hot this week (high 90’s!), so one afternoon you and I headed over to the fountains at Easton after school, with me getting more wet than you as I tried to coax you into them. Another afternoon, we attempted to stay cool at the movies, taking you to see Cars 2. After buying our tickets, you insisted on carrying my purse and our tickets across Easton and handing them to the “ticket tearer”, then hopping on the escalator all by yourself…my little Miss Big Shot.

When we left, you wanted to call Daddy and when he didn’t answer his phone, you said, “That sucks he no answer his phone!” What? Looks like Daddy and I need to rephrase our disappointment at home. We can’t have you walking around saying, “that sucks!” all the time. Even though it did make me chuckle at first.

Later in the week, you and I picked up some toy bins that we had bought on Craig’s List and used them to reorganize your art supplies at home. Your art supplies corner looks ten times better now, and you had a ball creating various crafts as I organized everything.

busy at work

presenting Daddy with the finished product(s)

We went over to Mark and Jenny’s for dinner one night, and we had such a nice time. We had missed them and it was so relaxing and nice to hang out with them again. Later in the week, you went over to their house on your own to play, and had a blast. Nothing beats great neighbors.

Lali, you, and Romey

Daddy said your mornings the rest of the week have been fabulous too, which was awesome news to hear each day.

I had been wondering when you would start asking about Audrey, and the same day I wondered this, you asked to call her that night. When I explained that she was in Germany (and likely asleep at that time), we decided to Facebook her instead. You were very excited to type her a message yourself, and wanted me to tell her all about the tattoo (stamp) I had placed on your hand that read “MALI” and also some random message about Egypt (huh?) Anyway, the ear-to-ear grin below shows how excited you were to “talk” to Audrey again…hopefully we can Skype with her soon. Two months is going to be longer than I thought.

how many 3 year olds Facebook?

On Saturday, we went to Uncle “Happy” Joe and Aunt Tina’s wedding. It was outside in a beautiful park and was a wonderful celebration. Being the awesome quirky people they are, they decided to have us all wear mustaches at the ceremony…very hysterical touch, and I’m almost positive the only wedding that you will ever attend wearing a mustache (just a hunch).

notice how hot and sweaty you look too!

With the 90+ degree heat wave and crazy humidity lately, we were all almost melting at the ceremony and so quickly headed back to their air-conditioned house for the reception. You had an absolute ball playing with all the kids. I love being able to go to something like this and you just head off, doing your “important kid business” all on your own. I snuck in a few times to check on you, at one point watching (and filming) you do a Wii dancing game to the song “Firework” by Katy Perry, with Erin helping you along. Then other times I came in to see you playing Guitar Hero with Sam. The kids were all very nice and I love to see you taken in by their little club. You are growing up little one, growing up.

The grown-ups sat around at various places and chatted throughout the night. Just before leaving, we came upstairs from the patio and found that you had evidently been up there with a group of adults (and of course, the candy bowl), trying to con them into giving you some candy. As we gathered you up to go home, the other adults shared how big they noticed you have gotten since last time they saw you, and also how chatty you were and how expressive you had been all night. You definitely are expressive, using your hands to gesture as you speak, driving a point home when needed. I joked later that perhaps you are Chinese-Italian? You just never know. Ha.

On Sunday, we went over to Fred and Michelle’s for a cookout and you got to spend time with your buddy Mia, and check out her new little brother Baby Freddy too. You were so curious about Freddy, climbing up and investigating him. You weren’t so sure about holding him yet, but were very intrigued by him nonetheless.

you were very interested in Freddy; kept touching him, trying to tickle him, and talking silly to him...it was very sweet and more then I expected

it was ok when I was sitting down holding Freddy, but when I got up, you insisted on me holding you instead

You had an awesome time with Mia, swimming in the kiddie pool outside after lunch. Mia is just learning how to get used to the water, so you were terrific as her little swim instructor. You are a natural fish, so seeing you play so comfortably in the water really helped. Before we knew it, you were both splashing around like old pros.

look at those grins!

hey, hey! don't splash the camera lady!

PTL for ice cream sandwiches! ha ha

chillin'

perhaps some kind of synchronized swimming dance?

what great buddies!

It is fantastic to watch you girls together. Each time you see each other you hit it off so spectacularly. I love that you have formed such a good little friendship with Mia. And you are equally as comfortable with Fred and Michelle too. You even willingly hugged all of them upon leaving (no easy feat since you are typically not big on goodbyes to anyone). I made the comment that kids are good judges of character; they know good people when they meet them. You even let Mia give you a flower and hung onto it, in true appreciation of the gift. Again, no easy feat since you usually toss flowers away two seconds after being given them. Daddy and I joke that your future suitors are going to have a tough time impressing you.

All in all, in spite of the bumpy start, this week turned out to be a phenomenal addition to our ever-growing adventure with you. I have learned to appreciate Daddy more lately, and better cherish every moment we can spend with family and friends. I’ve learned to be more thankful for what we have, and more patient when things are not exactly as they should be. I realize how important it is to recognize and ask for what you need, that difficulties can be worked out, and adjustments and corrections can be made no matter how out of control things may feel at times.

And finally, I am so glad we have our lives, and our Mali, back.

Love,

Mama